A hater: I’m gonna explain to Lacey how easy she is as a target, because she doesn’t get it.
Lacey: Okay.
A hater: OK you’re faking it. You’re actually extremely upset right now. I can read that on you. *she says, adamantly nodding her head yes*
Lacey: OK actually-
A hater: No, no.
I don’t wanna hear that from you.
Because, I want you to know that I can see through you…and this is first- this is the first part of your lesson.
Lacey: OK.
Do, I get to say something? Or are you just gonna keep talking?
A hater: I can’t believe you’re saying that!
Lacey: Do I get to say-
A hater: No, no! No, no, you shut-up and listen to me for a change!! *she screams*
Lacey: *shrugs*
A hater: OK, I’m gonna put you in your place!
Lacey: *smiles and blinks*
A hater: Dammit! Say something! I’m freaking out!
Oh my God!!!
Lacey: *just stares at her, waiting*
A hater: I don’t- I don’t understand what we’re doing right now. 
*she acts weirded-out*
Lacey: *just waits*
A hater: I think you’re completely crazy, because you started this conversation!!!
And you were gonna tell me something!!!
I had it in my head.
I knew what you were gonna say, cause I see through you! And then you chickened-out because you’re a worthless piece of shit!
Lacey: *blinks and waits*
A hater: OK, so this is getting funny!
Lacey: *waits*
A hater: What would you like to say to me! Just tell me!
Lacey: *waits*
A hater: Well, this is reactive abuse. Because I’m a really normal ordinary person and you’re not and I was gonna tell you something useful, cause I’m all worked up because you did something crazy to me 1 million years ago and I know that from a dream and you were gonna do that, and then I started talking to you and you put me in my place in a way that was very abusive: by blinking. *she says seriously*
And I just wanna know what your problem is with me, because we go way back we were lovers. You were in love with me. You were madly in love with me and I knew that the whole time OK!? You were a man! Cause you’re not really a woman right now! No, you’re not. No, you’re not a woman! No, you’re not prettier than me. No, you’re fucking not-
*she dissolves into tears and walks-off*
Lacey: *yells after her*
You’re completely bat-shit crazy!
I don’t know you from Adam. Practically.
Don’t ever speak to me again until we’re in the physical presence of the living Jesus Christ face to face, you fucking bat-shit crazy freak.
*a moment passes*
Another hater: I think that woman was slightly schizophrenic and had a personality disorder. I’m not that crazy.
So that would be my first criticism of you. How do you not- 
Why are you treating her like she’s normal when that’s not her capacity as a human being?
Lacey: Because I don’t know that she has that disorder until it becomes obvious, and I doubt, really, that you did either. 
Another hater: Ok that’s true.
OK now I’m gonna sound crazy too, because I feel like you just wanna lead the show.
Lacey: We’re not in a show.
We’re supposed to be talking to each other like adults. Do you have a brain or should I treat you like you’re nothing?
Another hater: OK you know what!?
I’m being a total bitch to you! And incredibly condescending!
So I like your lordly attitude. It’s really cute and charming and sexy.
So now you’re better than me huh? Cause, that’s what this is about, isn’t it?
Lacey: OK I’m defending myself. Why aren’t you allowing me to do that?
Why are you in infantilizing me, right now?
Another hater: Because I hate you, and that’s the only thing I can think to do.
Lacey: So you’re not trying to have a real conversation. You just wanna shit in my face and then have me go “Oh wow, you’re amazing! That’s really terrible!”? Or what? You’re just obsessed with beating me up?
Another hater: I’m from the perfume community. I have a feeling I watched you and you don’t have a clue who I even am at all.
And that means that it’s a one-sided beef, granted, yes, OK. Fine, fine. But that’s not OK with me.
Because you’re supposed to notice me!! *she screams*
Lacey: Why was I supposed to notice you?
Another hater: *yells epitaphs*
You’re always protecting yourself and your boundaries and winning, aren’t you?!?
That’s so important to you!! To be a really competent person!
You’re so competent!!
*she says, in a smarmy voice*
Lacey:  OK, so what are you mad about? 
A hater: Don’t talk to me like I’m a child.
Lacey: You sound like a total fucking idiot from the gutter. Do you want me to just say that to you? That you’re embarrassing yourself and you’re a mess or what?
A hater: You’re so nice though! I know that.
Lacey:  You seem like a crazy person, you’re telling me not to talk to you like you’re a child and just tell you what I’m thinking. So, I’m trying to do that. 
Another hater: OK I know I’m basically perfect. That’s how I feel about myself. But, maybe I’m not.
Lacey: Why are you so overly sensitive to my tone to you if you think you’re perfect?
Another hater: Have I approved of you?
Lacey: I don’t need your approval, because I’m not pathetic.
Another hater: OK, well I’m not like that. I am pathetic.
I need people‘s approval.
Lacey: So you’re hyper sensitive to people’s tone?
Another hater: I guess so, yes?
Lacey: So you already noticed that I was noticing your flaws?
Another hater: You’re very threatening to me because I am a competent person, but I’m not necessarily as smart as you and I just don’t like that. So, sometimes I ignore that when people are like that to me, but I noticed right off the bat that you thought I was an idiot and I think it irritates you.
Lacey: That could be true, but then you aren’t as smart as me, so what exactly do you want me to do for you?
Another hater: I want you to make me feel better about the fact that I’m not as smart as you.
Lacey: How how exactly would I do that?
Another hater: OK because like, I would see through it?
Lacey: I think that’s very likely, yes.
Another hater: You know it’s so subtle that I think it’s almost imperceptible, but I noticed it over time and it just really irritated me so when people started badmouthing you, I got excited cause I thought, “This is my chance to really kick her in the ass!”
Lacey: Do you care at all that I’m trying to be kind to you and you’re being a belligerent, entitled bitch or not? 
Another hater: OK that’s true.
So that’s just your personality?
Lacey: You know it is, you fucking idiot!
Yeah you retarded whore!
Or whatever the hell it is you even are. DUH!
You can’t stand that I’m smart. Can you? You bitch! You have no respect for me.
If you could handle the fact that I was smarter than you like an actual intellectual not some cruel piece of shit from the gutter, you wouldn’t even be bothered by me, you little fuck!
A German woman: *laughs*
Lacey: Shh! Don’t laugh! I want her to think I’m completely serious.
Another hater: OK OK fine.
I’m being very violent and high-strung and emotional and I’m way over-the-top.
And I’m maybe not quite all those things. Alright.
And yes, you’re right you can just depend on other people to give you a sense of self that’s accurate. You have to learn how to distinguish criticism from abuse. 
*she cries*
I was a little too presumptuous with you, I think. 
Lacey: I bet one of the first things you ever said to me, was incredibly condescending and insecure.
Another hater:  Yeah, I’m not holding myself accountable for that. 
Lacey: OK so you were very ridiculous to me and I know myself. I know that I’m not quite that stupid. So, then how am I supposed to treat you like you’re smart?
Another hater: Yeah OK.
OK so I can’t handle the fact that you’re so sophisticated because that’s very threatening to me egotistically and I don’t even think that’s what it is. I think that’s just who you are and that’s even worse.
I mean, you’re kind of like Jackie Kennedy, but scarier.
And I I really can’t handle that OK because I am actually kind of stupid in that way. Let’s just say: I’m an idiot. I actually am, in that way. I really actually am that stupid, Lacey. I actually am that stupid.
No, you can tell! You know that I’m actually a pretty smart cookie. No, you know I’m a smart person.
Yeah, OK fine. I’m a smart person.
Fuck! I can’t handle you! Which is pathetic. On my part. I am smart enough to know that, at this point.
OK, fine.
OK so-
I really am that stupid. I really am that stupid.
Lacey:  OK well then how do I trust you? Because, you’re sort of dangerous. 
Another hater: OK, well, that’s a very fair point.
Lacey: And that’s sad, because you seemed like a fun person. Do you realize that about yourself?
Another hater: No, and yes.
I think part of what’s devastating if I’m allowing myself to just being an intellectual, potentially. Maybe I’m not an intellectual.
But I’m not stupid. Is that you’re really smart and actually if you look like Scotia and that’s what your photographs are supposed to look like? Your fine features are probably really distinct, even though they’re fine, and I have a feeling you really are extremely beautiful, but in this sort of like German way, that looks like Scotia.
Tom: Yes.
Another hater: Yeah, that really is beautiful and then that’s where I have to grow-up and realize that you really look like Scotia, if you know what I mean, and damn! OK! So, that means that like you’re hotter than Miss America, you’re possibly hotter than Marilyn Monroe, but it’s in this like German, intellectual, sophisticated way.
So, then that means that if you broke Joe Kennedy Junior’s sad, lonely heart, and ran off with Kirk LeMoyne Billings of the Billings family, a friend of Jack’s from Choate? Or Heaven forbid, Michael Rockefeller.  And we all know about Elliott. I can only imagine what that would’ve look like. 
Or some jackass from Minnesota, who is leaving his second wife for you?
I don’t know what they would’ve done with Harold though- *she laughs* I almost think they would have just lied about it completely.
But, that’s the thing. That doesn’t scare you? 
Lacey: Absolutely not.
Because I don’t fuck you, yeah, that’s not our relationship. I am screwing somebody else. Just one person. And that’s my vagina and that’s my soul. So you don’t get to touch me, in that way…and if you don’t like it, that’s not my problem. I’ll just die.
Another hater: OK absolutely true.
I love that you’re supporting Peggy Flanagan. Because yeah, my body is my own too.
Damn we are a melodramatic culture. 
But that being said, that is very true.
The thing is the Lacey, it would make people sad. So, it actually affects people. You’re actually making people sad.
Lacey: *thinks*
Why though?
Another hater: OK because the backstory is probably that Joe ran off with Pat and they’re badly in love and you’re just like, “Dude, chill! This is for the best!” and, you’re right.
But then I’m gonna think, “Why isn’t that me!?” because if I was in her shoes, I would never do that. I would never throw away that opportunity.
Lacey: Are you absolutely sure about that?
Another hater: And this is why you left the perfume community. You know, yes. I want to say no, because I’m sure he would be an asshole to me and I know he would never love me the way that I need and I would be miserable if I took it seriously. I think Lem took it seriously, as much as he could, because he was straight. I really actually think that makes complete sense.
I think Jackie took it as seriously as she could and it affected her, but that’s where I think she was different than the two of you and they would’ve had to let you go because if they didn’t, they would’ve been fucked.
Lem was safe because he was actually secretly heterosexual, except I wonder if he actually did help shoot Jack? In which case, no he wasn’t safe, but it seemed like he was.
OK, but someone like me? I’m making a horrible case against America, right now. And capitalism. But that’s OK.
Somebody like me?
What I mean by that is, like I’m making a really like damaging anti-American argument-
But… somebody like me? I think I actually would have married him…and been like Jackie.
Lacey: OK, but she was in a mental institution for a short while and she had an eating disorder. Are you sure it wouldn’t affect you?
Another hater: It might affect me and I just don’t want to accept that.
Lacey: Yes, OK.
But… you would’ve also had more fun?
Another hater: Maybe.
Lacey: OK, and you and your grandmother and your mother are angry about that?
Another hater: Yes.
Lacey: Because, you might’ve had an eating disorder and smoked pot and been angry or something, and drank too much, but you would’ve had a really fun time being Mrs. Joe Kennedy Junior.
Another hater: Yeah.
Lacey: OK so let’s just have some fun. What would you have done if you had been his wife?
Another hater: OK so I don’t envision myself being like Jackie or Joan.
Lacey:  And what exactly does that mean? 
Another hater: It just means I would have had yellow in my wedding with gardenias or daffodils maybe? And been married in a beautiful, big, historic Catholic Church. Had tons of bridesmaids. And everyone would’ve seen me as like the epitome of style…right from the beginning.
I wouldn’t have waited until I was helping him win the Presidency. I would’ve tried to be the center of attention… right from the beginning–
Lacey: Pat thinks like you.
But I don’t think she ever thought that way, and to be honest with you not to be mean, but a part of me wondered why he never dated somebody who was like you. Because, that would’ve been smart, politically.
And if we’re being really candid, that was actually one of the first moments, I started to really fall out of love with him, during this whole weird thing I’ve experienced? When I realize that. About seven years ago.
I thought, “Why isn’t he dating people who are smart to date?”. Because he did date some people who were smart like a Athalia Ponsell and Katharine Hepburn, but that’s not the right person to date.  He should’ve been dating someone like you. 
I mean, he died with the presidency in mind. So it wouldn’t have been out of his way to date an attractive, cunning, stylish woman such as yourself, especially if you weren’t looking for some grand love affair. That’s very stupid on his part.
Another hater: Would I even want him?
Lacey: Alright, with his clothes on he was very handsome. With his clothes off he was a little bit skinny.
I don’t know if that would bother you or not?
Some women are more bothered by those things and others. I can’t handle it anymore.
But maybe that’s not something that really bothers you about men. You know? Because that’s being a straight woman or being attracted to men. It’s complicated. So maybe that doesn’t even bother you. *she laughs*
It bothers me, but whatever.
But with his clothes on, he was handsome.
I mean, he had a very nice head of hair and a very nice face and umm…with his clothes on he was tall too, so he looked good.
Another hater: Oh!
*she thinks*
Yeah.
Lacey: So I don’t know if- if- if that doesn’t bother you, that doesn’t bother you. I’m just being honest with you.
Another hater: So you, you were very not-
Lacey: Well, would it bother you or not?
Another hater: So I’m just thinking maybe that it wouldn’t bother me. I’m serious. I think I was thinking no he’s hot. He’s hot you know and I’ve actually seen some pictures of him. I’ve looked and OK. You’re right. 
