Rated R
Lem thinks this is necessary.
Let’s imagine we’re in his house, in Manhattan. In the 1970’s. Kirk LeMoyne Billings’s house.
And, believe it or not, Bobby is there to get high. On heroin. Lem bought him the drugs. As per usual. He injects Bobby, in the bathroom, Bobby leans forward and braces himself on the sink.
Then Bobby collapses on the floor. And just lays there.
Lem watches him. Silently. Hoping he finally just dies.
Lem exhales slowly, disappointed as Bobby rallies. As per usual. His ability to tolerate heroin was actually literally demonic. He had tried to sell his soul to Satan so he could get as high as he wanted, as often as he wanted, and not get in any real trouble.
“Lem” rubbed his gritty, grisly face. Dejected. Despondent. And in deep despair.
Listen to the music of Ted Lewis. From the 1920’s and 30’s.
Lem walked off very slowly, old white man that he was, as Bobby laid there, finally smiling and saying, “I ate Cheerios this morning. I should be fine for another two days.
*he smirked*
Just keep giving it to me!”
Lem: *smirks*
*looks at Bobby and then finally just laughs at him*
*starts laughing so hard he has to sit down, because he’s getting winded*
*cups his hands over his mouth*
Okay! Okay, Bobby! *he says in a deep voice*
Your wish is my command! *he says in a whiny, high-pitched voice, now*
Bobby: *moans and writhes in pleasure from the drug and his imagination, as he lays on the floor*
Lem: *just walks-off*
Kay Banks knocks on the door. A 40-something woman who has just been divorced within the last two years.
She’s been befriended by Eunice Kennedy Shriver. And Eunice has decided to send her tend after Lem.
Lem open the door. Lacey brightly greets him.
Lem: Well, hello! *he says in his gay voice*
Lacey: Hello! *she says, with joy and cheer*
Lem: *he looks awkward but is socially graceful, and polite as per usual*
Well, come right in.
Lacey: Oh! You know about me!??
Lem: NO.
Who are you, dear? *he says, confused, as she walks into his large house*
Lacey: I’m Kay Banks. *says Lacey, in her most professional, matter-of-fact, upstanding manner*
Lem: *he just smiles*
Lacey: *waits, but gets no response*
Dear, you must be awfully hungry today. Why, I’ve been told you don’t have much time for food these days. …But the first thing I’m going to do… is make you a real meal.
What’s in your refrigerator?
I can’t stand this. This is getting too personal.
I am lamb writing this. Lem.
I was sexually starving, first and foremost.
*he laughs*
 I was actually heterosexual. I’m sorry, I’m really tired of saying that. 
And no, I was not fluid. I was a heterosexual and a straight man my entire life and I still am one.
Basically, Bobby is under the impression that I am his boyfriend if you haven’t figured that out. I am hiding from him the fact that I’m trying to kill him because I think he’s a crazy sociopath. And Lacey is just being herself.
I find her very attractive. She’s my “twin flame” and we end-up making-out and Bobby walks-in on us as we’re making-out and he says:
Bobby: Why are you guys making-out?
Lem: Well son, this gal wants to make me dinner. *he says, brightly, in a forced manner*
Lacey: Oh, I’m sorry. I- I guess maybe your dad is my boyfriend-
I just divorced and I am- I’m just sort of a crazy woman, so don’t mind me, sweetheart.
Bobby: *sits down at a table and drinks a glass of milk, ignoring them*
Lem: Kay and I are going to go, Bobby, to a hotel for the night. You can have the place entirely to yourself. I need a break from our life here.
Lacey (Kay): Well, my goodness, that is very interesting. I was not under the impression you were that stressed-out from your life here in this big beautiful house… but I-I guess I will be going with Lem and we will be talking about his recovery plan.
Lem: Bobby, I am interested in recovery and we are going to be gone because I’m determined to be clean. OK? You are over the age of 17 and I’m sure you can take care of yourself for at least a day or two. I am a sick man and I need help from a professional who-
Lacey (Kay): Well Bobby, I think that you might need some help too, but I don’t think we can help you right now, because I think that you are not quite ready for that sort of assistance, that’s what Eunice has told me.
So, I’m going to let you just enjoy a time alone as a growing… developing… flourishing young man in your heart, and I trust that you will relish this opportunity to explore being an adult.
Bobby: *smiles and nods*
Lacey: Alright, well Mr. Billings, let’s go and find out what it is that you need, to be yourself again.
Lem: Righto!
They walk-out together. They get into a taxi and the conversation goes as follows:
Lem: I didn’t really wanna make out with you.
Lacey: Oh that’s fine! Don’t worry about it.
You know things like that just happen sometimes when you’re stressed-out and you’re just in the mood for love.
*she shrugs and smiles*
There’s nothing wrong with the fact that you’re an attractive man… and I am an available woman. And we’re aging. And it’s just the nature of life… and death… and the meaning of things.
I don’t take things the wrong way! Don’t worry.
Lem: I like you a lot.
We’re going to a hotel that I’ve stayed at before. When I was young boy. We were staying in New York for the first time. My parents and I. And I haven’t been there since; it’s a very historic hotel.
Lacey: Well, my goodness!
That sounds absolutely wonderful!
I’m absolutely stunned by you… and your ability to just… enjoy the glory… of this amazing city.
I’m absolutely floored… by every… historic millisecond… and millimeter… of this extraordinary- extraordinary place.
Lem: Do you like New York City?
Lacey: Oh, it’s extraordinary!
I love it.
It’s absolutely extraordinary.
Lem: Do you think that you are…safe… with me?
*he keeps himself from laughing*
*he smiles, instead*
Lacey: Oh yes!
Lem, I can tell that you’re a really… truly… good person.
*she smiles at him, sweetly*
Lem: I’m hot for you. *he says, frankly*
Lacey: *smiles*
*thinks*
Your recovery is the thing I’m most worried about.
Lem: *smiles and takes a deep breath*
*smiles*
Why don’t you help me?
Lacey: *feeling flustered and stupid*
I will help you.
I promise I will help you.
I promise.
Lem: We’re gonna be there all night. Are you prepared for that or do we need to stop somewhere first?
Lacey: Oh my!
*she forces herself to laugh*
*her breathing quickens*
Well, my gosh!
You you have- You have- You have got a lot of things to say, guaranteed.
I will listen to all of it!
I do care.
Lem: I’m going to fuck you!
*he says, sliding closer to her*
Lacey: *doesn’t know what to say*
*thinks*
Lem: You are…-
*he nibbles on her ear*
Sexy.
Lacey: *truly stunned*
And I made-out with her again. p
We walked to the hotel…slowly…from the Taxi. I held her and said, “You are welcome to hate me. I’m an ass.”
Lacey: How are you an ass!??
Lem: We barely know each other, you poor thing.
Lacey: I could say no!
Lem: Don’t kid yourself!
Lacey: No, I really could.
Lem: You could. Sure.
But you can’t really.
I can tell. It’s mutual.
Lacey: I’m not a slut, Lem.
Lem: I know.
You’re an experienced married lady.
He warmed you up for me?
Where is the worthless piece of shit?
Lacey: He’s living in Tucson. With his wife Gloris.
Lem: *thinks*
He moves her inside the hotel. Grabs her hand and brings her to the room.
Lacey: *still flustered and completely overwhelmed*
He cheated on me with Gloris.
They met at the post-office.
And… that was the end.
*she looks sad*
