(For entertainment purposes only)
Last night Lacey and Mark had sex.
Mark made passionate love to Lady Thynne. She was absolutely wrecked.
Lacey accidentally heard her.
And, of course, Lem and Lacey also made love. And it was…nice. They’re both tired.
And this morning Bobby is mad. Because Josh Shapiro…accidentally made a comment. He pointed out that Lady Thynne is better looking than Chris Hayes’s wife, Kate. Chris Hayes of MSNBC. And Bobby took that very seriously.
He’s now insisting he’s an ancient Celtic warrior. Yes, he’s insisting he’s an ancient Celtic warrior. Right now.
A reader: I’m not getting the connection.
Chris Christie: *rolls his eyes and smirks*
Putin: It’s about me. And my sexual prowess.
He’s making it into an argument about…them. But it’s really about me.
Bobby: No. I just think Chris’s wife… is just as sexy as Lady Thynne.
A sportscaster: *laughs*
Chris: I think Kate Hayes… is… sexy.
Another sportscaster: *laughs*
Bobby: You guys are just a bunch of nerds.
Chris: I’m not offended.
*he scoffs*
A reader: Because he thinks Butter… is… impressive enough.
He’s using Butter. And Monica Vitti.
Chris: Kate is attractive though too.
Bobby: Well, let’s just move on. We don’t need to keep talking about this.
Another reader: Bobby… you’re still thinking about it. Aren’t you?
Bobby: *looks sad*
*tries not to cry*
Another reader: DUde! He’s gay.
Bobby: No. He’s probably not.
*he laughs*
*he almost cries*
Another reader: Man! Cheryl is HOTT.
Bobby: *sniffs the air*
*almost smiles*
I mean…-
A sportscaster: Lady Thynne-
Chris: SHUT-UP!!!
Putin: What’s the trouble?
*he smirks*
Bobby: I’m fine.
I just think I’m still Celtic. Just as much as you. Or anyone else.
Chris: FUCK YOU!
A sportscaster: *can’t stop laughing*
A female reader: Chris, have you ever wrecked your wife?
Bobby: I wreck Cheryl often.
A reader: Bobby, are you being serious right now?
Bobby: *rolls his eyes*
I don’t think Cheryl has ever complained. I’ll put it that way.
Putin: It’s making love. Not sports.
Bobby: Ha!
You’re A LOSER!!! *he yells at Putin, finally crying*
YOU LOSE!!!
Putin: *cracks-up laughing, at Bobby*
Bobby: YOU SIMPLETON! YOU LOSE!!!!
*he cries*
LOSE.
*he punches a hole in drywall*
Chris: *scoffs*
I’m sorry, but I am married to a woman quite like Lady Thynne.
Bobby: *doesn’t even hear him*
A sportscaster: Chris that’s not true. I’ve looked at pictures online of this woman and she’s fucked.
Chris: Do you think that Mark‘s dick is bigger than mine? *he says, offended*
A sportscaster: I mean, you’re both Jews right? So…-
Chris: I know I’m not Jewish right now. I’m not that stupid. But I think I’m fine. OK? I think I’ve maintained an aura of my genetic sort of… superiority… so sorry.
Yet another reader: I’m confused. How is Lacey not just British then? If you still think you have a Jewish dick?
Chris: Because, it’s different.
I am one of the chosen few in the Illuminati. I am part of the Illuminated, and we are different.
Jay Rockefeller: that that’s not the idea of the illuminati Chris that was never our idea but I used to hear you guys say things like that and I just let it go because I assumed that you were just confused that she was misunderstanding you
To be honest with you, I found her very attractive. She could have married my cousin Michael, and I to find her very attractive. And I thought that I should just ignore that because that’s just the way that I handled my life
I found women attractive, many times in life and I just ignored it because it wasn’t relevant. And so at times I would hear her say things, and I made them a little silly in my head as men sometimes do when they find a woman very attractive they almost romanticize the idea that she’s just stupid so she must say things that I would think that’s silly. Well, she is attractive, but she’s not very bright, but that’s not the case
She is very attractive. I have not changed my opinion, and I feel bad that Michael never was able to meet her because he died. But but there were things that she said that probably will have to be recalled, and this was one of them
What is it that you think we’re doing?
Chris: I believe that we are part of a holy few of chosen ones
Bobby: yes he’s absolutely right. I’m of the same mind and I see myself as the representation of the Celtic people. I am a Celtic warrior.
Chris: yes we are a select group of individuals who are the light for the sheeple mass the sheeple audience, the blind masses, the simple folks 
Jay Rockefeller: OK that’s not the idea. Do you do you mean that we’re like the Knights Templar?
Chris: no that’s something different. That’s like you know a bunch of nights and shit
I am not I’m not part of the Knights town floor. I’m not like that. I see myself as a holy man.
Jay Rockefeller: OK you sound like you’re inventing some sort of cult that is a kin to the witnesses. The Jehovah’s Witnesses.
I don’t that’s not what we’re doing. We’re not the Jehovah’s Witnesses Chris we’re supposed to be like the Knights Templar.
We’re supposed to be like the Knights Templar, which is a bit different because yes we are illuminated, but we’re on a quest. We are instructing. We are guiding. We are illuminating with our own illumination. Your idea is that we’re part of a holy select group of people like the Levites not the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Chris: *thinks*
Do you know it is sort of like the Levites. Yes we are like the Levites in the nation of Israel in the Bible. Except we kick ass take no names just kick ass bad ass bitch fuckers that just don’t give a shit.
We kick ass z
We do not settle for anyone’s shit
And people who are not illuminated, just cannot compare cannot compete cannot measure up to our greatness. We are the illuminated
Jay Rockefeller: I think Dolly did get really into that concept because she felt guilt and she felt ashamed of her background and so she started to tell herself that she was evolved and that she was somehow different than other people, but that it wasn’t genetic that she was just some unusual being
That was her way of explaining it to herself. She was very lucky and she never was honest about it. She was incredibly fortunate, and she didn’t like that narrative, and so she kept telling herself that she had somehow earned her wealth and deserved it as compared to everyone else in her family and everyone else she ever knew.
And there are other people who are new money who told themselves the same thing
Chris, I worry, though that you and a few other people are making it even weirder to be blunt because you believe that not only are we better than other people, but that we really are some other sort of species?
Chris: OK well we use demons that are sort of reptilian. Because some of the things that we do are very cold-blooded, but we’re not reptiles obviously, I know that
What we are is a group of people who are superior and there is no genetic explanation for it. It’s just some sort of divine right
Bobby: yeah, I completely agree. I completely agree, and you know that’s nice that in his last life that her husband may have been part of our group and in his life right now that he still reflects that experience of being a part of our group.
I’m sure that that is very nice for him to still get a little bit of some leftover energy of our greatness that we experience right now as superior beings
And end and I’m sure you know Liam was superior to lifetime ago like Lacey and that is very nice for them to still remember what it’s like to be like us
Chris: yes I shall be very humble in my next life would I am no longer this amazing or I will just not come back because I think that I have come full circle, and there’s almost nothing left for me to learn
Bobby: I agree I think I’ve learned just about everything. I need to learn too.
Chris: well and then we have to be kind to the other people Bobby, who aren’t as superior as us because they better understand we can call ourselves superior and people like Lacey and Vladimir Putin and some sports casters believe that they can call themselves that
And I’ve had to laugh, Bobby because I don’t think that they know what we mean by that
Bobby: Chris will just have to keep this between us and let them die and figure it out
*he laughs, in pretentious love and empathy*
Chris: well, I’m glad you’re here because if you weren’t here, I think I would be rather scared right now sometimes Lacey the former lady Roslyn, not the present lady Roslyn talk to people and acts like they’re both superior and she’s scared because I keep harassing her no no no that’s something else. I’m the one that really feels that way just like you, Bobby.
Bobby: yes even if she was Scotia and even if Peggy Flanagan is the daughter of someone very important at Taney Hall, I am Bobby Kennedy
And I believe Peggy‘s inferiority is reflected in the size of her nose, and I believe my superiority is reflected in my lack of height
a woman’s nose can be big and women are vain and they can’t handle it and so they often sometimes get surgery
Men can’t fix their height and unlike Putin, I am not some man running a country starting needless wars I am a sex, God and an insightful gentleman from the Kennedy family the house of Kennedy 
*later*
A female perfume collector: Bobby.
What did Mark do to his wife?
*she says, sounding concerned*
Bobby: I don’t know. Ask Putin.
Putin: He just fucked her hard and she came. Not Lacey, Lady Thynne.
A female perfume collector: *thinks*
Okay.
Well, I wish I could be fucked like that too.
Bobby: *looks confused*
Well, I’m not going to do it!
*he looks offended*
I’m married.
Chris: *Nods*
The CIA: Hasn’t stopped you before.
*they smirk*
Bobby: Well. I’m just saying what rich men have said for centuries. I’m no different from Lord Thynne.
*he puffs out his chest in pride*
Harvard: It’s not the same as that.
You’re using your marriage as… an excuse.
Bobby: *looks flustered*
I’m not getting aroused. I’m getting repulsed.
Harvard: You don’t know what that woman even looks like.
Bobby: But I can tell she’s wearing By The Fireplace. And there’s no way I can fuck that.
A sportscaster: *nods*
Hell yeah.
