This morning Lacey was attacked. As per usual as of late, although not as bad as before the US Presidential election.
“I was so looking forward to being an adult!” she thought, reminiscing about her childhood.
“Except you’re supposed to be happy! Because you and Lem are together!” accusingly said someone.
“True! But I just…feel sad about the life I never had.” says Lacey.
She felt progressively worse.
“Death. …Why is that so unpopular?” says Lacey.
“How many people do you think would rather be dead…?” asks God.
“I think most people alive nowadays would actually be far happier dead. The world has become such shit!” says Lacey. “But of course, that’s infeasible. …The chaos it would cause and such. Totally infeasible.”
“But you think most people would want to die?” says God.
“YES! 90%.” says Lacey. “They’ve destroyed everything.”
“I agree.” says a homeless man.
“You know…she’s probably right!” says a Charismatic Christian, laughing.
“Shh! Don’t! They’ll just try to keep everyone alive now. Just to be mean.” says Lacey.
“They’ll never fix Global Warming though.” says Mother Earth. “Really! They have no way to fix it!”
“Good! Then we’ll die anyway. They can’t control hurricanes.” says the homeless man.
“When did the Earth become unbearable?” says Jerry Seinfeld.
“The late 1990’s.” says Louis. “There was a decline. But by the late 1990’s it was…ugly.”
“What was it like before?” asks a Jew.
“Happier. Genuinely happier. …People felt joy. Hope. A reason to care.” says Louis.
“Part of the problem is that people aren’t allowed to be innocent because it’s seen as uneducated and lower class. That became the overall trend in the late 20th Century. And it’s still pervasive today. So we mask our humanity. To seem elite.” says Elsie.
“People who weren’t even friends used to greet each other. Lacey’s neighbors play mind games with their family to seem elite. And that’s the only thing that matters to them in regard to her and her family. Being better than them. …Even if they’re not pure evil. …And in past people who were not even close to being friends…used to willingly say hello. …Just for fun. Because humans need each other. …But people today are too…dim…to understand that or accept it. They just want to play games.” says a dead man who who used to live in Lacey’s house.
“Is she crying right now!?!” asks her neighbor.
“NO!” says the dead man who once lived in her house.
“Erin…why were you allowed to lie…and secretly want to steal Chris or Diego from Kate…when Lacey wasn’t?” asks the CIA.
“Because! Social class! …Lacey was supposed to feel snubbed by that. But she didn’t.” says Erin. “Because she’s too dumb.”
Joan Walsh laughs. “It just never gets old. Her ugliness and stupidity.”
“See! Let me explain why I’m OBVIOUSLY WAY hotter.” says Joan Walsh.
That tiny little bit of extra face…RUINS HER ENTIRE BODY.” says Joan SO EXCITED.
“Joan…why are we excited about this? Even if it’s not true. And it isn’t… You do think this way. Don’t lie. So… Why does this excite you all?” asks a Black comedian.
“I don’t know.” says Joan.
“There has to be a reason. It’s impossible that there isn’t.” says a an expert psychologist for the CIA.
“I mean I know what you want me to say. You want me to say that I’m just threatened by her. And jealous.” says Joan. “But I refuse to say that!”
“WHY!?” says the CIA.
“Because my psychic counselors have told me that that’s not safe energy.” says Joan. “And my Satanist counselors tell me to just use it…to harm others.”
“But Joan…that’s just the reality of your feelings.” says the CIA.
Erin weeps.
“See! Now you’ve made Erin cry!!” yells Joan.
“Ahh…Erin…have you ALL been taking the advice of this psychic counselor? This whole time?” asks a reader.
“YES!” says Olivia. “They’re extremely popular in the Illuminati.”
“And there are a lot of people who think like them.” says Ghislaine Maxwell.
“Erin felt…super pretty and sexy. Because compared to Kate Shaw-Hayes she is. Or was, anyway. Most of these people aren’t good-looking. Who attacked Lacey. They’re average. Or below average. …And Erin felt…damn sexy. Back in 2015.
Chris had…noticed her. And he was so fucking proud that he had pulled her. Because he’s actually kind of ugly. …He channeled Michael. Otherwise Lacey would NEVER have had any sort of real attraction to him. …And he has yet to cognitively process that. And that’s driven Erin partially insane because she can’t feel…less powerful than Lacey…until Chris accepts that she’s actually not even attracted to him in reality. Because he’s not attractive enough as a man for her.
…Erin…is genuinely fascinating though.” says George Bush Sr..
“She is!” says Lacey.
“She’s lied! And all of the They have backed her up. Very foolishly.” says George Bush.
They think.
“She…felt so very attractive! …So…thrilled.
Her net worth was at about $100,000.00 or so. She was in her 30’s. …Chris was worth $5 million. He was in his 40’s. And she was in awe of his popularity and clout. The…presence she felt around him. His social status. His car. Their house! Wow! …The people who he met. Because to then, coming from their background, that was the only way they’d ever be able to meet famous people. Or people of that stature. That’s simply not the case with Lacey. Her father is a historical figure himself. The man who fed her bottles and put her down for naps. As a newborn. …Or who at least may have. …Let’s assume he did. Just for the point I’m making to make more sense.
Her father…is an extremely fascinating historical figure. And sure! Nobody knows about her. Not officially. But…if he’s her father…he actually did bring her into this world. THAT IS HER FATHER! You see? …And he held her. …He gave her up because he was OLD. Not because he didn’t love his daughter.
Lem Billings is her twin flame. IN REALITY.
Her family has met the Kennedys. Through lovers. Not because they worked at it. There are statues and books and there’s sterling silver…with their name on it, so to speak.
Chris and Erin have nothing like that. To them…hard work…is their ticket to the big show. Hard work…is their best bet. And for them it’s paid off. They both feel superior and important. Very superior and important. Because of hard work. And they’re too backward and unsophisticated to realize that lots of other people are more privileged than them at birth. People in the Midwest. People who they don’t know of who don’t live in Connecticut, so to speak. They don’t understand social class.
So! To Erin…life was exciting! …She had her claws in the big kahuna. Chris Hayes…was really into her. …And he was…not likely to leave his wife…but not to the point where Erin couldn’t get excited. …She saw a path for victory. She saw a way to make him hers. He was impressed by her sweet rural background. Because he’s too genuinely ignorant to understand that Lacey is the Old Money person and Erin was from the middle class, at best. His intellectual bravado is just that. It’s for show. …He’s got a gear act! Very convincing. But he’s not actually some rare mind and profound public intellectual. No! He’s a useful tool. …But Erin saw…HAPPINESS.
Take Five by The Dave Brubeck Quartet plays.
She saw Chris as…Glitter. Chocolate. A bed of roses. A brand new Mercedes. …Champagne. LIFE AT ITS BEST!
WOW!!!
NEW YORK, BABY!!!! WOOHOO!
2:30
She’d walk in…get her make-up done…and then go on camera. And feel…SO…DAMN….IMPRESSIVE! Coming from her background it was as if her soul had changed. The moment her face was flatteringly aired. You SAW HER! And…her hard work…paid off. WOWZERS!
She’d been trying to get famous for YEARS. But it was finally WORKING. And…Chris…was paying her more and more attention. He was really noticing her. Her hard work made her feel DEEP. Just like it had for Al Franken. Joan Walsh and all the other asshole liberals who have no fucking clue. Who live in a delusional world. Pampered. Slutty. Immature. And dumb-as-fuck. Sheltered. VERY sheltered. Despite their lack of ‘innocence.’
They live in 1996. When being famous was COOL. Cool to genuinely intelligent, impressive people. People who’s opinion matters and mattered. Educated people. …Those people are mostly all dead. Or they’re in their final years. It’s not 1996. It’s not 1994. That was 30 years ago.
But they still live like it’s 1994 and they’re trying to impress Ron and Dianne Craft. Or the dead man who lived in Lacey’s house before she did. It’s VERY SAD.
Alain Delon is dead. So is Matthew Perry. So is Shannon Doherty. THEY ALL DIED. THEY DIED.
Anderson Cooper? Who else is left? King Charles III and Queen Camilla. WHO ELSE!?
Narcissists have been so…dumb and so loud…that Prince William and Lacey…have been ignored. Misunderstood. Shouted down. Olivia Nuzzi and a herd of gay men…are supposed to take their place. But that’s INSANE.
Bobby isn’t desirable to Lacey. He doesn’t understand that.
Take Ten by Paul Desmond plays.
Anyway…in the delusional bubble of 1996…that doesn’t exist…because it’s delusional…Global Warming is serious…but we have time. The American government and currency are obviously strong. People are all in a good mood. Mostly. There are good television shows. 9/11 and Covid haven’t happened yet. Jerry Seinfeld is still new and fresh and unexplored. Somehow Larry David is 65. Ethel is 85. Queen Elizabeth II is still very much alive but totally old fashioned! Princess Diana is off somewhere. And…Hollywood is SO DAMN GLAMOROUS! Even if it’s just on screen and not behind closed doors.
Women as beautiful as Anna Nicole Smith are everywhere.
BUT…in Erin’s little world…in New York City…in 2015 they aren’t everywhere. And actually they never seem to show-up at the studio. …She is the only hot-like person there! …She is…Chris Hayes’s only tangible option. And given her hard work…and his increasing sexual fascination with her…she sees…MONEY.
Well! Not just money.
What did Erin imagine?
Look-A-Here by Ramsey Lewis Trio plays.
She imagined a sexy, Meghan Draper wedding. Somewhere in Hawaii? Something warm. Something tropical. She was the other woman, after all. So…Kate and Chris would be left behind. Their life together would be…left in the past. Where Lacey imagined Kate…moving on…Erin imagined her…just…disappearing. Not really disappearing. But…Erin didn’t think of her at all. And Kate takes that as a good thing because it’s less realistic and mature than Lacey’s approach where people’s actual feelings have to be considered and not just totally ignored. Of course, again, Lacey wasn’t even actually in love with Chris or Diego at all…but…they still don’t really know that.
So…yes. Erin imagined Chris…eventually leaving Kate. Not right away. But by…2020 or so? Eventually. She was going to slowly work them apart. And then by 2020 they were going to marry. In Hawaii. Something quick, sexy and glamorous. Honeymoon in Paris! Come back and with this ring:
Or something slightly more expensive.
And to Erin from rural Wisconsin…a Cartier engagement ring worth $5,000 is IMPRESSIVE! Especially with his name as her name. And she was in love with Chris. The real him. Unlike Lacey who fell in love with Michael Rockefeller. Not that that’s Lacey’s fault.
Their wedding in Hawaii was to be…a social event! Erin dreams of being a socialite. Posh! Old Money. Or something even better!
So…
This! On a slightly smaller scale. A huge home in the Hamptons! A Cartier ring! Or just lots of posh parties. COOL STUFF!
And she…was so damn close.
Erin was SO damn close. And that’s not something Kate has realized. Or dealt with.
Instead Kate and Erin and all the narcissists losers like them in the Illuminati BLAME Lacey. Daily. Inciting violence against her. Because it’s easier that way. And they can imagine themselves as heroes and victims and elite lovable-denizens of epic grandeur instead of backward, narcissistic, evil clowns.
Erin…though. It is almost sad.
Walking After Midnight by Patsy Cline plays.
She was…so close. And for her…it was real. They slept together. As themselves. They spent hours working together. Really working. They were happy. Truly happy. And…had Lacey not showed-up…they’d possibly be married. People do leave their spouses.
1:05
Erin…was his mistress. Not just his polyamorous girlfriend. They were so close!
Why did he start talking to Lacey? Because he’s in love with Kate. And Lacey was a useful escape route away from Erin. And she was very distracting. She seemed to be in love with him! But it made no sense. And yet being narcissistic they simply assumed the worst of her and the best of themselves. Instantly! She was a weirdo. She was a psychic weirdo. And a gold digger too!! Because if she wasn’t…they were all dumbasses. In reality she was…a confused genius. A psychic. Sure. But mostly a genius. But that’s not their ideal.
So Chris ran crazy with their collective narcissistic (false) narrative. And so did most of the West. It’s astounding.
In reality Erin was just scaring him. Because she was getting too damn close to being his new wife. And he had intense anxiety and remorse. And, again, Lacey was his best excuse. And he’s hidden this reality for years, since the beginning, actually. Lacey has been aware of it. But they’ve never allowed her to discuss it with them. Because it’s still not to their advantage in their estimation. They don’t want to admit that they live in a delusional world. Enabling each other. And that Chris is…a fool.
And…that Erin has a real reason to be angry.” says George Bush Sr..
The song ends.
“So Lacey doesn’t? But Erin does!?” says a man.
“NO! They both do.” says George Bush.
“THAT IS SO UNUSUAL!” he says.
“No. It’s not.” says George Bush.
“Wow!! Then how is this even possible!?” he says.
“Because reality isn’t that simple.” says George Bush.
“No! This isn’t true. And Lacey doesn’t even know this!!!” yells Erin.
“I thought Lacey was secretly ugly. And that Erin and I had more in common?” says Princess Kate, sincerely confused.
“Nope. She’s known the whole time. And you hate that! And no, you’re ugly compared to Lacey Kate. It’s insane you don’t understand that. You’re not an idiot.” says George Bush Sr..
“There’s this hardness about her!” yells Princess Kate.
“That’s breeding, dignity and intelligence.” says George Bush Sr..
“Why doesn’t she want to be my friend!?” yells Princess Kate.
“You can’t demand friendship!!” yells Lacey at her.
“True.” says Princess Kate.
“I’m not your plaything you dumb bitch.” she says to Princess Kate, if she deserves it.
Later.
“Kate will just have to get over it.” says Lacey.
“So…who is Chris Hayes as he was presented?” asks MSNBC of Lacey.
“Mmm. Right now I feel bad for Erin.” says Lacey.
“I’m fine!” says Erin.
“It’s actually really disturbing.” says Lacey.
“Erin…why didn’t you just understand what was happening!??” yells Marilyn Monroe.
“I ruined your affair. Because I needed to use you both for own purposes.” says JFK to Erin and Chris.
“Thanks!” says Kate Shaw-Hayes, sincerely.
“Okay!??” says JFK to Kate Shaw-Hayes.
“You did it to help me!” says Erin.
“NO! But…okay!?” says JFK.
Silence.
“Michael! Me.” says Michael Rockefeller.
“They hate that. Why?” says JD Rockefeller.
“You know…we can actually admit that we can see her marrying him. …It’s not that. …It’s just…we can’t make sense of our narrative then.” says a man in the Illuminati.
“Why?” asks God. “Her Christianity and noble pure heart?”
“Maybe. …We can’t fathom a good person calling a bitch a bitch. We imagine a noble pure heart would never be rejected. …And a truly beautiful woman would never be unloved.
We are backwards.
Ahh…
What’s…weird is that it makes sense.” says MSNBC.
“Why is that weird?” says Lem.
“Because then channeling people is dangerous!” says NBC.
“IT IS!!!” yells God.
“I thought it was safe.” says Chris Hayes.
“Look! Just imagine me. In his body. That’s who Lacey was in love with.” says Michael.
“You are very serious.” says Lester Holt to Micheal.
“I am.” says Michael. “Erin…was…cruel. Evil. Misguided. …My wife was…not at all in love. I was dying inside.”
“So I was capable of marrying you or not?” says Erin.
“Mmm. Maybe. Not necessarily.” says Michael.
“Why not?” says Erin.
“Because! I either was wasting our time. Or I was…being tricked by you.” says Michael. “It was bad!”
“So what would you have done?” asks Chris.
“If I had started talking to her…telepathically…and trying to astral project myself to make love…I’d have had…a reason. So…I would have called her. Or…arranged some…nerdy meeting between us. Something very eccentric and yet also very sweet.” says Michael.
“To me it was just a joke.” says Chris.
“Right! But she was in love WITH ME!” says Michael.
“Who are we interacting with!??” says Jonah Wiley.
“Her. But also Jack Kennedy.” says George Bush.
American Boy by Estelle plays.
“I wanna get in her head!” says Jonah. He sees her spirit. But barely. He squints. She disappears and instead he sees JFK.
Jack laughs. He’s bisexual. Or was and still is.
He laughs. Flirts with Jonah. Plays hard to get. Sends rejection vibes. Offers disdain.
3:15
Jonah is annoyed. Jonah is annoyed by JFK. He’s still thinking in his spirit that he’s interacting with Lacey. But in reality it’s JFK. So he assigns all of her beauty and charm and kindness and prestige from her family to JFK’s spirit. And he’s…REPULSED. As he would be.
Some people see beyond JFK who violently dances in front of her in front of almost everyone. …But in America they’re often Republican. People have done NOTHING to help her or protect her from Jack Kennedy, other than the British. And Russia just isn’t as easily fooled either.
But most people are like Jonah.
Jonah stares at JFK pretending to be Lacey. And as repulsed as he is…he has sexual feelings for…Jack Kennedy pretending to be Lacey. Jack is in denial about this. Because he wasn’t trying to come on to Jonah so much as harm Lacey. But…Jonah was intrigued by Jack Kennedy.
“Jonah. I’m fucking lots of people!” says JFK, smiling even though he seems sad too.
Adagio for Strings plays.
“NO! YOU’RE NOT.” says Jonah.
JFK laughs.
“Come to me!” says Jonah.
“EWWW!!!” says JFK. “I WOULD NEVER!”
“Really!??” says Jonah, fighting back tears.
“OH MY GOD! NO!!! Ewww!!!!” yells JFK, laughing, with his mouth hanging open.
“NO!!” says Jonah, crying inside. “YOU DON’T MEAN THAT!!!”
“YIKES! …EWW!! …NO!!!” says JFK.
“You don’t mean that!!” says Jonah.
“I would NEVER LOVE YOU! YOU ARE NOTHING!!!” yells JFK at Jonah, sincerely.
Taking this spiritual approach very seriously, as most people today do for good and bad reasons both, Jonah weeps in his spirit. And then things get nasty.
Jonah begins treating Lacey like she’s a HUGE, HUGE bitch. She gets very angry, hurt and confused. And he feels he’s winning. But he’s fighting with Jack not her.
In reality Jack Kennedy is laughing at him. In reality Jack Kennedy is laughing at Lem and Lacey. And Jack Kennedy is laughing at God. At hurting people. Hurting children. Because Jack is a hideous person. But he exists. And his own children are still largely in denial about who he is.
JFK has genuinely destroyed Lacey’s life as much as he was capable of. Lem was straight. Jack was very evil and narcissistic and bisexual.
Later:
“Why did I reject her?” asks Jonah of himself.
She was beautiful.” says Jonah.
JFK hears, panics and races over to Jonah. “YOU KNOW HOW POOR YOU ARE! You LOSER!!” yells JFK.
And at that Jonah feels rage. At Lacey.
It’s endless cycle Jack Kennedy has been creating her entire life. People getting “senses” about her. Gut senses that may or may not match with at all with reality. And out of common sense self-protection they reject her. Endlessly. At times it’s narcissistic. But not necessarily always…
Later.
“So you all insist on harming Lacey. By causing catastrophic air loss. Dyspnea. …Sensory torture through demonically controlled noises. And choking as JFK shoves food down her throat as she fights to not die.
But…you’re not dead set on her dying. Because…if she does you’ll lose. You’re fine with her dying. But you’d rather she didn’t. Why? Because you NEED her to give Erin what you feel she deserves. And she can’t.” says George Bush Sr. to the current Illuminati.
They think.
“So…Lacey is Old Money. You’ve been fighting with that premise the whole time. But let’s just say you stopped.
If you stopped and let that be what it is…you’d feel mildly less antagonistic to Lacey and her whole family. And you’d possibly enjoy the unique aesthetic value of the very Scandinavian Nesheim family. And you’d admit that they were…actually there the whole time. …That the Midwest isn’t just a hellhole. Or a giant farm.
And then Erin would have to admit that she’s not actually better than Lacey…in any way. In her decorating. In her clothing. In her cooking. In her familial background. …That she’s not smarter. That she’s not better bred in any real way at all. That she’s not more sophisticated. That she’s not more sexy. That she’s not more beautiful. That she’s not kinder. That she’s possibly not even funnier. That she’s not a better writer. That she’s not more hard-working. And that, in fact, Erin may be sorely lacking in comparison to Lacey in several ways if not entirely.
…And then Lacey would have a craving for pomegranates. And decide to make spaghetti.
And then…Queen Elizabeth II would admit that she liked Elizabeth Arden Sunflowers.
…And then Lacey and Queen Elizabeth II woken be stumped as to why they’re being attacked at all. They didn’t start this, possibly.
And then Lacey would decide she also wants Graham Crackers and milk.
…And then Erin would have to figure out why she thought violently insisting reality be altered, if necessary, to make her superior to Lacey was a spiritual course the Illuminati should take.
And Erin would have no idea why. At least not quickly enough for the Illuminati henchman. But it would be that she really just wanted Chris…to leave Diego and Kate…and marry her. But she’s stubbornly lied about it and instead made it some bizarre argument about Lacey and Lacey’s entire family. And it’s possible to her it even is that. Because it’s too painful and unthinkable to have to realize that Chris just didn’t love her the way she loved him. And that there was nothing she could do about it. Because Erin is extremely controlling. That’s part of how she’s done so well. She’s not normal. She’s a freak. Who controls everything. And it’s…earth shattering to her to fathom that she can’t win the love of a man who she can love that damn much.
Most people are used to being rejected. Lacey has only ever experienced rejection from the living, whether that’s on a deep level or superficially. Deep if she’s not stupid, ugly or poor enough to reject and also on a deep level if they’re too scared (like Queen Elizabeth II) or lazy (lots of people) to try to really reach out to her…or on a superficial level if she seems uncool somehow. …But Erin has not often been rejected. Not really. Lots of people have felt sorry for her because she’s somewhat ugly and always has been. She has ugly mannerisms. But she’s also kind of cute. So people feel sorry for her but then like how cute she seems at the same time. …And then while she has their attention she rejects them. Subtly or obviously. And they feel…the need to gain her approval somehow. Men, women, she does this act on everyone. And combined with her obsessive work ethic she manages to gain the acceptance of…lots of people. Loads of people! She’s also at least average intelligence. So…she rarely makes any serious mistakes. …She knows she’s mildly ugly, however. And she feels…hatred for herself. And she’s embarrassed about her lower class Wisconsin background. So…she feels driven to always keep control and never lose her edge. She’s developed and kicked hard core drug addictions as a result. Heroin kept her mellow and skinny because she could hide her unique pain from herself and from Chris and Kate and Diego. Her rage. …It worked with her long-term goal.
What caused this disaster was that Lacey emerged. Out of nowhere. At the hand of JFK. He didn’t care that it was a problem for Erin. He didn’t care that it would possibly destroy the entire world. And part of the reason why was because he didn’t understand. He just didn’t understand it.
So Chris channeled Michael. As always. And Lacey had no idea what was going on and she developed a crush on Chris Hayes that’s very understandable because she was Michael’s soulmate. …And with JFK arranging everything Lacey ruined Erin’s life, in a way. Yes. Lacey RUINED Erin’s life. Kate has lied and acted like she and Chris were deeply hurt by Lacey, but that’s ludicrous. She has promoted the false narrative that Lacey destroyed their marriage. And possibly she did feel that to some degree. But mostly it’s a cover for what actually happened with Erin. …Kate is just as ignorant and conceited and arrogant as her husband and she too falsely assumed Lacey was from a poor family when she heard they were from North Dakota. And she didn’t realize how stupid her cover would eventually look. …But what Kate was covering for was actually Erin’s ruined life.
Lacey had absolutely no intention of truly ruining anything for anyone. That’s sick, absurd fantasy. …What happened was really just that she showed-up in just the wrong way at just the wrong time. …Normally Lacey isn’t that lacking in perception, but again, Jack created the situation.
So…Lacey was in love with Michael while Chris was panicking, because he was seriously thinking of taking his relationship with Erin to a new level of sincerity, and it made for the perfect storm, so to speak. Lacey was mesmerized by the whole spiritual experience. And Chris was determined to use Lacey as a way to distract Erin. And Kate was devastated by Erin, and decided not to give two shits about Lacey’s welfare or the welfare of her family. Kate felt entitled due to a foolish assumption about social class she made from watching Eyes Wide Shut and Kate’s ignorance about the American Midwest. To Kate her actions were evil…but just ‘part of being elite.’
Erin…however…has never recovered. Lacey is fighting for her life. But she’s come to peace about death and Lem. Kate…has somewhat come to terms with her broken marriage and Chris’s…lack of love for her too, possibly. Diego died. But Erin lost her mind. It doesn’t look like it. But she did. She became terrified of Lacey’s superiority instead of just accepting it like a normal, functional adult person. And now to this day still mimics Lacey instead of just being herself.
Why? Because in her mind Lacey stole Chris. Not Diego or Kate. Lacey. …And it’s unclear if she’s consciously aware that Michael Rockefeller was Lacey’s soulmate or not. …You’d think she’d have enough common sense not to try to compete with a literal Rockefeller. But…she’s possibly not at all processed that part of reality. To her that’s just more noise.
And Erin is either so insane she’s believed Lacey stole her own soul and doesn’t even exist, which is…impossible for a human to do, or Erin doesn’t even think that and is just not going to be outdone. …And while Erin can’t truly be Lacey she insanely doesn’t realize that either. It’s one of the two.
So…Erin…hasn’t processed…that she’s sad. That she’s extraordinarily disappointed. That she feels like she built her whole life up to that moment in 2015…and Lacey RUINED everything. No! It was an accident. But Erin can’t fathom that. Because to her Chris is…amazing. SO RICH! SO IMPORTANT! SO IMPRESSIVE! And…she almost had it made.
Does that make Erin a gold digger? Yes. Erin is and was. Or was. But she’s also a goal digger. Ha! And…marrying a nerdy, cool, dark, handsome prince was her…ultimate dream. But not like…just a prince. Like a dark, evil, cool-kid prince like Chris Hayes. …Rich. But also hard-working.
…And so poor, sweet, ditzy, severely mistreated but tough as nails Lacey…from her Old Money background…is…fighting for her life.
Will Erin stop cursing Lacey? It’s unclear. Jack didn’t want her to. He was having too much fun using Erin to harass and harm Lacey. But…hopefully Erin will eventually get a clue.” says George Bush Sr..
“Yeah. So…
Erin…have you ever spent weeks at a five star hotel? In Europe?” asks Lem.
“No.” she says.
“In America?” says Lem.
“No!” she says.
“Huh.
Is your engagement ring worth $60,000?” says Lem.
“No.” she says.
“Huh. Lacey’s done all that.” says Lem. “Did you almost join Tri Delta? Because they were fascinated by you?”
“No. But then how was she rejected?” says Erin.
“Because Mark doesn’t love her like your husband loves you. Unfortunately. …And her sorority sisters rejected her…very subtly. Even as they accepted her seemingly.” says Lem.
Erin goes quiet.
“Have you gone tanning in your late 20’s to be sun-kissed for a beach in the Bahamas? Or found out your mother inherited oil? Or heard stories about relatives who were mysteriously all knighted by the King of Norway, as a child?” says Lem.
“No!” says Erin.
“What luxury handbags do you have?” asks Lem.
“I have a Gucci. It’s new! And…a Jacquesmus.” says Erin.
“That’s all!?!” says a reader.
“YUP. I’d like a Birkin.” says Erin.
“BUT YOU CANNOT AFFORD IT!” says Lem.
“True.” admits Erin. “Not really. Not without cutting into my retirement.”
“Lacey has two Louis Vuitton’s and a third one on the way. And a new Launer.” says Lem. “She also has antique jewelry. Do you have antique fine jewelry?”
“No.” says Erin.
“Lacey owns a luxury Audi. Do you?” asks Lem.
“Kinda.” says Erin. “Kinda.”
“Yeah. Do you own any luxury watches?” asks Lem.
“One!” says Erin.
“Do your parents give you thousands of Dollars every year or did they send you to Loomis Chaffee or Harvard?” says Lem.
“No.” says Erin.
“Lacey owns three luxury watches.” says Lem. “And…when you first met her…she had a $20,000 perfume collection. Have you ever owned a collection of anything worth over $1,000?”
“Yes!” says Erin.
“Oh! Books? How much is your book collection worth? Lacey’s is worth $10,000.” says Lem.
“$5,000?” says Erin.
“Lacey’s collection is worth more.” says Lem. “Are you impressed by a $20,000 perfume collection?”
“No!” says Erin.
“Oh! Because it’s perfume?” says Lem.
“Yes.” she finally admits.
“That’s very ignorant, Erin. Very middle class.” says Lem.
“Fine.” says Erin.
“Erin…they lived in Seattle.” says Lem. “Even if she sold her $20,000 collection…they’d still have had to wait. Because he was only making $124,000 a year. With a $10,000 bonus. But in Seattle in 2017 that was not…enough. Not for a million Dollar house. And she refused to live elsewhere in Seattle because she hated living in Seattle. …The thing is…they have family money. So even though he was making a decent salary…they were still not doomed to a middle class life. And…he could be making more. …You should have been impressed. Not extremely impressed, but impressed.”
“She’s impressive looking.” says Elliott.
“Yes! Extremely impressive.” says Lem.
“Yeah. But she’s uncool.” says Chris Dodds.
“Erin why weren’t you impressed?” says Lem.
“Because…it’s not…cool.” says Erin.
“Yeah! Polished. Like Marjolijn. Or scary-cool like Casi.” says Elliott.
“Erin. Do you feel…resentment towards Lacey, none-the-less?” says Lem.
“Yes.” she admits.
“Yeah. Because in reality it’s not The Sound of Music. …It’s Hannah And Her Sisters or Manhattan and Lacey and I are Woody Allen Characters slightly. …You’ll NEVER live as well as either of us.” says Lem.
She thinks.
“You’ll never own a $30 million dollar penthouse in Manhattan.” says Lem.
“True.” says Erin.
“That has to bother you, knowing you. Why can’t you be honest about that?” says Lem.
“Could she have stolen any of you?” says a reader.
“From Lacey? No.” says Harold Loeb.
“Erin…that has to bother you.” says Lem.
“It does.” she finally admits.
“Thank you for finally admitting that.” says Lem.
“I feel humiliated!!” says Erin.
“No! You’re just finally being honest.” says Lem.
Awkward silence.
“So you feel better than me?” says Erin.
“No. Yes, maybe. But hopefully not in any deep way, except I can’t say that anymore.” says Lacey.
“Erin I don’t get why you all do this. The perfume community did the same thing. You keep relating to her like she’s all icky and busted. Why not just be…less well off? And less beautiful? And not care?” says a dead Black man.
“Yeah!” says a woman in Saint Paul.
“You could have played it totally differently! …You could have said, ‘Look. Y’all into different living! Seattle and shit?! Mmkay. …But…I like New York City. And…I have some clout. Okay!? I have some of my own. …And see…y’all spoiled asses? Nah! …You stay in Seattle. Heck you come live here if you want!? But you stay out…of MY BUSINESS! Y’all really be fools… Stay OUT!’” says a dead Black woman.
“Why couldn’t you have just said that?” says Lem.
“Because I think she felt confused by Chris.” says George Bush.
“Erin…how would you have coped with his lack of love for you?” says Lem.
“It was never going to work!” says Erin.
“You know…that’s not necessarily true!” says Lem.
“If we got married…I’d have…been…the second wife.” says Erin.
“How much would you be worth?” says a reader.
“$5 million!” says Erin.
“How close would he be to a third wife?” says a reader.
“Not that close! Maybe ten years from now.” says Erin.
“But you’d have your $4 million!” says Lem. “You’d have $6 million net. By age 50.”
“WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP BEING SUCH DUMMIES…and claiming my cousin is the gold digger. SHE IS CLEARLY NOT.” says Joni.
“It’s my idea.” says the demon impersonating Lem Billings to Jack Kennedy.
“Why?” says Joni.
“Because…Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy wants to think she was. It’s less painful.” says the demon impersonating Lem. “In reality Lacey is just simply Joe Kennedy Senior’s former soulmate. But Rose preferred to think of her as something more sinister. To avoid feeling stupid and guilty over Lem and lots of other things.”
Keen to Cross the Pond 
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