Author Archives: L.

Brokeback Mountain is a joke. Those men are bisexual. They are not gay.

I watched it recently and it pissed me off. There’s no way an actual gay man could get aroused by a woman the way they’re represented as experiencing. That’s stupid as hell! No…they’re bisexual.

That film is a fraudulent film. It’s evil. It’s cruel. It’s a narcissistic piece of festering shit.

All that film is about in reality are two people who are really dumb. They are experiencing being in love. But instead of being together and finding some way to make it work…they lie to themselves and others. It could just as easily be about people of completely different orientations and genders. Lots of heterosexual couples experience the same exact thing. They marry other people and then later they can’t resist each other when they see each other again.

Lacey and I don’t get it. …Why the fuck are you all so fucking backward? …There’s nothing special about that film. I was practicing homosexual behavior in the early 1960’s. LOTS of people were. …And I’m not saying it was right…but why did it take so much time for a movie at all about the soap opera side of homosexuality to be made? It’s disgusting. …At least it is to Lacey and me.

What…the fuck…did you all think homosexuals were doing? Knitting sweaters? OF COURSE they had drama. Brokeback Mountain is not a revelation it’s an embarrassment.

It’s a cheesy, narcissistic joke. It’s a lie designed to hurt people. It’s evil. But…it is and was celebrated as an epic achievement because you all are so slow!?!

Is that it? You’re all slow!?

Well…Lacey and I aren’t that fucking slow. I’m sorry. …And thank God I’m not dumb enough to buy into the notion that children are possible sexual partners. That’s the new trend. It has been for a while. And yes, unfortunately, you can blame many homosexuals for that. The fact is the homosexuals as a group were on board with that idea decades and decades ago…even if men like myself and Lem disagreed. Actually lots of gay men disagreed. It wasn’t a popular opinion within the homosexual community but it was the official stance, per se. Why did we have such a profoundly evil view? Maybe homosexuality isn’t normal or sane. Maybe…we were just heartless jackasses. Maybe we were extremely desperate for support and allies and we had convoluted ways of reasoning through our own experiences. Either way it’s not something to be ignored.

Why would I have fallen in love with Lacey? Because I’m actually not a pedophile and I preferred women…even if I was technically bisexual. And I would have loved her more than anyone else I could have met. And that’s where we are. Ten million light years ahead?

Look…I’m sorry if I sound like a mean person. Maybe you’re not that stupid and evil. But I’m exasperated this morning.

If you’re going to violently insist that homosexuality is permissible…for decades…and shove loud, colorful flags in everyone’s faces…and take over the month of June…during a global climate crisis…can you fucking try not to be backward leeches?

What is so difficult about understanding the concept of bisexuality? How did you all make it so weird? As gross and perverse as Kinsey was…he did understand it fairly well. There are degrees of orientation. The Michael you knew was mostly straight but slightly bisexual. I could have just as easily have been happy with a woman as a man if they were the right people. WHY is that such a taboo, foreign concept? And don’t tell me it’s not. I’ve done research. People in 2024 are still baffled by this idea or bothered by it or what? You find it too snobby? Too upper-class? Too old money? Too educated? Too mature?

Look…Christians worry that homosexuality isn’t allowed in Heaven for a reason. And the non-violent Christians with any sense or desire to communicate and a decent understanding of homosexuality in the Bible are worth talking to, if you can find them. Be careful. Don’t trust people too easily. But…even if they’re right and it’s not allowed in Heaven…people are still experiencing homosexual feelings that are real. And it’s irrational and irresponsible to ignore that. It always has been.

…Lem was straight. Jack Kennedy was bisexual. Jack Kennedy was bisexual. …Jack Kennedy was bisexual. …John F. Kennedy was bisexual.

So…what that means…is that Jack Kennedy had sexual and romantic feelings for men and women. Frankly I think he had a tendency towards homosexuality…but he did certainly find women attractive too.

What does that mean? Jack Kennedy was…attracted to Marilyn Monroe. And Grace Kelly. And Inga Arvard. Sure! But…lacking honesty and integrity through lack of self awareness…and accountability…he may not have…appreciated heterosexual sex for what it is. So…he shit all over heterosexuality. For all of us. Not just for himself.

Lem is being accountable for the role he played in enabling Jack’s idiocy. But…regardless, Jack was…a problem.

Jack…found Lem Billings and Red Fay attractive. And Rip. And Tennessee Williams. And possibly Gore Vidal. And Francis McAdoo. But…being problematic he never took time to think about that. He never sat around and thought about why he found those men attractive. Or how attractive they even actually were to him. That’s an adult thing to do. That’s a sophisticated and mature and respectful and reasonable and responsible thing to do. That’s helpful to everyone. But he never did that. If he had…he’d have realized that there was something wrong with Lem. And he’d have fallen far more deeply in love with Red Fay.

And don’t tell me that as a narcissist he wasn’t capable of it. Narcissists are far more capable than you think. Narcissists do have a tendency towards evil and uselessness…but they can choose to be more aware and less evil. He could have just sat and thought for five minutes…just five minutes…about the men he found attractive in his life. Even in some closeted way in his own mind. But instead he chose to be a blind bat out of Hell.

You know…he could have just given five minutes of thought as to why he found Marilyn Monroe attractive. Even that would have been useful. He would have had to realize that he found…darker women with less curves…more charming. And it’s not actually a bisexual thing. No…I think Jack just…preferred a more androgynous look. …That being said…if you’re not in touch with your heterosexuality (and male gender, obviously) some women might seem too…feminine…and they do almost always appeal to healthy straight men automatically. …So Lacey, Marilyn, and lots of women who were more feminine…were hurt by Jack because he didn’t respect them for existing as themselves. He found them attractive and so since Lem and others let him have sex with anyone and in Lem’s case encouraged it…he liked them at first. They just seemed like arousing people. “Oh! How nice!” he might have stupidly mused. …But being a bumbling, narcissistic fool…he then began to hate them. Why? Because they scared him.

Lem finds feminine women attractive. That’s his type. Lacey’s very feminine. And Jack could sense that and it left him feeling incredibly skittish. And being a bumbling narcissistic fool he screamed bloody murder instead of taking five minutes to analyze the situation responsibly like an adult. …He was also anxious about his own sexual orientation and preferences. He raped and molested people and sexually assaulted his siblings…but he made excuses for it all…and kept it all on a subtextual level…so all still seemed bright and cheery and funny and fun. He was an absolute moron. But…he made it all work by using the right people. Jackie, Lem, his friends and family. He used lots of people. So…his instinct was to let feminine women die instead of accepting that he preferred Jackie’s tiny boobs. Yes! It’s that tragically petty.

See…to realize that he just preferred Jackie’s tiny boobs he’d have had to sort through his orientation and then realize that…maybe he was pansexual? Or maybe he just found a more androgynous frame more sublime. Maybe he liked curvy women…but swerved to something more non-traditional and liked a more gamine, modelesque, chiseled look in women. Which may just be his personal taste. He also used an exorbitant amount of bright colors in his paintings. Maybe he craved something…different in the way Jackie was different. Why did he have to make an ongoing national crisis out of the whole fucking thing!??

No. It’s clearly still an issue. Even long after he’s dead. How nice would it have been if America could have existed peacefully without having to babysit the Kennedys indefinitely? Because why the hell is it our job to unravel his psyche for him? …And poor Lacey and Lem. Poor me?

What happened to us before them? Back when poor people were scared of rich people. …Was that good or bad? Maybe it was somewhat bad…but…why were they scared of rich people? Was it somewhat reasonable? Was there something self-protective about it? …Because on the one hand you had to do your job…and be mannerly. All that hogwash, right? But…on the other hand…as long as you did your job…and followed the rules…you could be very subversive. A lot of trade unions were based on that invisible, impermeable wall between the front seat and back seat. And…it gave the poor an advantage of secrecy and psychological control over their own sense of self and community.

Change is change. And you have to recalibrate. But what if we don’t recalibrate? Then what? What are we left behind with? Small possible improvements and lacking resources. Because people adjust over time. So upending a whole ecosystem to alter the way one thing works…is often a dangerous process that can lead to more serious problems. And…that’s why the progressive ideal is…bullshit. Progressive views may not be absolute bullshit…but the ideal of relatively quick Heavenly improvements that work…is immature and foolish. We can and should strive to bring Earth into alignment with God’s will…but…making it all possible “in our lifetime” is absurd. That’s absurd! …We have to work. We have to be wise.

So…no…we are in shitty shape.

And on this blog…we discuss one thing. Unfortunately. We discuss the fact that Lem Billings was not gay.

You have it all wrong. Or you had it all wrong.

See…let’s say that Jackie was Lacey. And Lacey had married Jack. Or actually…come close to it. Because…no.

You have Jack as this hyper-sexual, super heterosexual guy. But the reality of him was quite different. So…while Jack Kennedy is prattling on about something to Lacey and he’s losing her interest, Lem is not running away with a mysterious air of gay ambivalence and insouciant cache from the scene, harboring a knowing look of devilish sexual glee. No. Get the fuck over it. Get…the fuck…over it.

No. What’s happening is that…Jack Kennedy has lost her. She follows Lem as he walks away from the scene with her mind. And his is more of an awkward, hurting, confused gait. Almost always. So she excuses herself and runs after Lem. Questions him about what’s going on. He smiles at her. Apologetically. It all pisses Lacey off and so she kisses Lem.

“NO!! She can’t do that!!!” yells herds of jackass gay men who loved Brokeback Mountain. “HE’S GAY!! And gay men don’t like that!!”

“So you’re policing Lem’s sex life now?!” asks JD Rockefeller.

“They have been for years now. Because they have no control over it.” says Michael.

“We barely care!” says a Millennial gay man.

“Yeah right!” says Doris Kearns Goodwin. “He scared and scares you all for good reason. Because you all knew something was amiss in regard to our view of Lem, historically.”

So Lacey as Jackie (yes this Jackie looks a bit different) begins sleeping with Lem. And they plot to send JFK off on an ice float, so to speak. None of Jack’s kids are his. Obviously. It’s a completely different story. But you’d have believed that just as fervently.

The only reason you think Lem is gay and that Brokeback Mountain is epic and pivotal and revolutionary…is because you were told to think that. Lacey tells you to think for yourself. In an edifying way.

This morning Lacey woke up to the theory that she’s been living at the same psychological level of sadness as people who are committing suicide on a daily basis for over 10 years. Her life has sucked shit.

Kick In The Door by The Notorious B. I. G. plays.

Most people are vastly happier on a daily basis.

Lacey’s natural brain chemistry is slightly below average. But not much. So was Tom Banks’s. Margy’s was higher than most people.

“Mine was even lower.

No. It wasn’t. But my last years were…bad. Not actually as bad as you, but bad.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald.

“I don’t think I was ever as sad you.” says Lem. He suddenly experiences her level of sadness.

“EEWWW!!” shrieks a pastor.

Haddaway “What Is Love” plays for the pastor and it’s dedicated to Lacey. To hatefully yell at her.

“What the fuck!?” says Lem. “This is…fascinating.”

“Ewwwww!!” screams the pastor.

“Okay.

What’s bothering you?” asks a living gay man of the Christian pastor like he’s talking to a child.

“EWWWW!” shrieks the Christian pastor.

“Okay. Tell me about it.” says the living gay man.

“I CAN’T HANDLE IT!!” he says the living gay man.

“What can’t you handle?” asks the living gay man.

“Her whole fucking personality. I HATE her.” says the pastor. “EWWW!”

“Do you hate me?” asks Mary Richardson, out of curiosity. She appears to him in the mindset she was in right before she died.

“Yeah.

You piss me off!” he says.

“She pisses me off too!” says Marsie.

“Yeah. FUCK YOU!” sincerely says Casi to Mary Richardson.

“I’m not crazy about them either…but…being from the gay community I know better.” says a living gay man.

“But I’m a Christian. I’m supposed to be the expert.” says the pastor. “Through the Holy Spirit.”

“You are supposed to be. Yes. You’re a total fucking failure to an epic degree in this way. Most pastors are.” says Lacey.

“That HURTS!” says Jonah Wiley.

Lacey slaps him in her spirit in response. Because he’d deserve it.

“Lacey do you know what love is?” asks Marsie.

“YES!!” yells Lem. “She’s one of the most loving people I’ve ever seen. YES!!

And she knows what it is.” says Lem.

“Why do you hate us?” asks Mary Richardson of the pastor.

“I’m not sure why you both keep attacking me.” says the pastor.

“I’m attacking you?” asks Lacey.

“YES!! You’re both so evil.

*He glares at Lacey*

You’re both such…seductive…feminist whores. From Hell.” says the pastor to Lacey and Mary.

“I’m not a whore.” says Lacey, amused.

“YES! You are!” says the pastor.

“No. We’re not!” says Mary Richardson.

“What makes you think we’re whores?” asks Lacey.

He thinks. “I don’t know.

It’s just a sense I get. Like…you’re both going to fuck me. Like you both desperately want me.” says the pastor.

“I don’t think either of us do.” says Lacey.

“YES YOU DO!” he says.

“No. I’d like to kill you right now.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. That’s the sense I got from them too. That’s why I dated Lacey.” says Chris Dodds, her first serious boyfriend.

“I’d like to kill you Chris.” says Mary Richardson. “You irritate me. A lot.” she says to Chris Dodds.

“Do I seem like a pastor!?” says Chris Dodds.

“Yes!” says Mary.

“You might have a similar psychological makeup to most American pastors. Not that they’re hopeful pure evil. And same for you.” says Lacey.

The pastor thinks.

“This is not stuff we’d say in person.” says the pastor.

“True!!! Wow!!!” says Mary, mockingly.

A Catholic priest looks at Lacey. Looks confused.

“Where are you going with this?” he asks Lacey.

“Do you have the attention span to find out?” asks Lacey.

“Yes!” he says.

“Why do you feel like I want to fuck you?” asks Lacey to the pastor.

He stares at her. Half smiles.

“You do! But it’s to kill me.” he says.

“Maybe.

I’m constantly wondering if I need to kill you?” says Lacey.

“Yeah.

She’s wondering what’s going on. It’s old DNA.

Possibly Mary had it too. They’re trying to figure out what evil you’re up to.

Not because they hate Jesus. …NO! Because you all seem…evil.” says the Catholic priest.

Chris Dodds laughs.

“Did we really date!?” Chris Dodds asks her.

“Just barely?” says Lacey.

Lacey is interrupted.

Later.

“So do I care!?” asks the pastor.

“You don’t seem to understand what that even means.” says Mary, laughing.

“So the idea is to sleep with us to get us in a position to kill us if necessary?” asks Jonah Wiley.

“Yes!” says Mary.

“Why am I falling for that?” asks the pastor.

“Must be all the porn you’re watching. Right?” says Lacey sarcastically.

They look befuddled.

“That’s not it.” says the Catholic priest.

“No. It’s not.

You’re…scary.

Umm…am I evil?” asks the pastor.

“She’s not supposed to be scary.” says Mary Richardson.

“Yes? Maybe. I’m finding out.” says Lacey to the pastor.

He sits.

“Why are you so smug?” asks Lacey of the pastor.

“Because we have Jesus?” offers Greg Boyd.

“Yeah.

Is that it?” says Lacey.

“Yes!!” yells another American Christian pastor.

“But why do you think you have Him?” asks Lacey.

“Because the world doesn’t want Him?” offers another American pastor.

“No!! They do want Him. They desperately do.

They just don’t know Him.” says Lacey.

“Then why aren’t they in church?” asks the American pastor.

“Because they don’t know Him.” says Lacey.

What Is Love 2K9 (Klaas Radio Edit) by Klaas & Haddaway plays.

“You’re supposed to be like a priest.” says Lacey to American pastors. “You conduct a sacred ritual. Not a businessman.”

“That’s true!” says an Anglican priest in England.

“Yes.

But they don’t seem to fully grasp that.” says Lacey.

“How wealthy do you think pastors should be?” asks Jonah Wiley.

“A modest, but fully livable middle class salary at most. There’s no point to anything else.” says Lacey. “If there’s an Illuminati none of the pastors involved are still Christian, at least not entirely. They’re obnoxious.”

“Yeah. I’ve gotten into the occult. If there’s an Illuminati.” says Kenneth Copland.

“You have!” says Lacey. “It’s clearly left you in awe.”

“Yes.

I was awed by the Illuminati witchcraft. It’s extremely powerful. It’s amazing-“ says Kenneth Copland.

Lacey’s interrupted.

“As I was saying, I was awed by the Illuminati witchcraft.

Their ability to make things happen is astounding. It’s like going from driving a bicycle to driving a car. Or, at least, that’s the experience I had.

Joyce felt the same way. Lots of charismatic pastors have felt that way.

Lacey thinks we’re idiots.” says Kenneth Copland, laughing. “But…if she’s Scota…she knows!!” he says sadly.

“Christianity…is doing it the hard way. Sure.

But…easy magic is…dangerous.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. It’s like…anything really physically dangerous. It’s fun. It’s easy. It feels freeing. But…it’s…extremely deadly.” says Lem.

“Anyway.

I don’t see the point.” says Lacey. “Most rich Christians who are powerful can’t handle it. Countries can. Like England. I think England did better than most. …But an individual pastor is…seemingly rarely ever workable.”

“Why?” asks Greg Boyd.

“Because you are taking poor people’s money. First of all. And using it for evil. Or at least, something close to evil, considering.

And second…it’s not grounded in the Earth.” says Lacey.

“OH DEAR GOD!!” says Great Britain.

Le Sacre du Printemps by Stravinsky plays.

“Yeah. God wasn’t and isn’t a fool.” says Lacey.

“Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s!” says Jan.

“Yes!! Exactly.

Christianity is sacred.

It is the true sacred.

There is no higher or better sacred.

…And money…is not sacred. It’s the Earth.” says Lacey.

The song plays.

“And the Earth is fallen.

We can be redeemed. Through the sacred, which is Christ. But money is from the fallen Earth. And that means it’s…not necessarily evil…but rather fallen. I think.

So…money in and of itself cannot redeem. It can be used, by Christ. But it’s of the fallen Earth. And for a pastor to live beyond a reasonable middle class lifestyle is therefore…either gluttony…at best…or it’s pure evil. Because the only way personal wealth can be restorative in a fallen world is when it is used for God’s glory. Great Britain understood that.” says Lacey.

“We did!” says an English Anglican priest.

“Do you all feel her coming on to you?” asks an American Christian pastor.

“NO.” says an Anglican.

Nancy Nieves cracks-up laughing.

“Are we sure she’s actually even coming on to us?” asks Chris Dodds.

“I just molested Lem.

I wouldn’t think he really wanted to be sexually active. Or her either.” says the Episcopalian priest who abused Lem.

“I trick them!” says a demon. “I trick pastors into thinking she’s coming on to them.”

“Just in America?” asks Jonah.

“Yes. It only works in America.” says the demon.

“Why!??” asks Joyce Myers.

“Because. It’s an evil native to the US.” says the demon.

“Is it our money?” asks Mary.

“NO. It’s the whole damn thing.” says the demon.

“Ahh. The American Illuminati?” says Lacey.

“Yes.” says the demon.

“Should it even exist.” says Lacey.

“Do you think she’s coming on to you?” asks Greg Boyd of Kenneth Copland.

“No!

But her family knew my wife and I. Vaguely, at least.

And I just don’t really get that from her.” says Kenneth Copland.

“They went to your church?” asks the CIA.

“Yes. And they met my wife and I there.” says Kenneth Copland.

“Why did you get into the occult!??” asks Lacey’s cousin of Kenneth Copland, with concern.

He looks sad. “Peer pressure!”

“So…what’s going on?” asks Marsie.

“You found Lacey Banks.

And you completely misunderstood.

Maybe we are trying to kill evildoers.

But…we’re also incredibly sad. I committed suicide!

And…for some reason…you all read our profound sadness…as a sexual matter. When it’s not at all necessarily like that.

Kenneth Copland…knows Lacey. Through her family. So he can read her. And he knows it’s a personal issue that has nothing directly to do with him. …And maybe that’s where his wealth is being used by God, at least in conversation. In a restorative manner. But…her family were also his parishioners.

The thing is…both Lacey and I were viciously attacked by the same group of people. And it was a sexual assault. And American pastors pick up on that. And sadly they often make it about them personally. Why? Well…I’m too tired and busy today to discuss it further.” says Mary Richardson.

“Wait!!” yells an American pastor.

“What?” asks Mary.

“You’re in love with me!!!” says the American pastor.

“No. I’m not.” says Mary.

“You lying whore!” says the American pastor.

“That’s insane.” says Mary.

“Have you dabbled in the Democratic Party?” Lacey asks the American pastor.

“YES?” he admits.

“Boom!” says Chris Dodds. “We have a winner.”

Adoration of the Earth from The Rite of Spring by Stravinsky plays as conducted by Igor Stravinsky himself.