Saddam Hussein: She’s a classically trained violist. She’s quite talented.
The perfume community: *Swallows hard*
Looks impressed.
Saddam Hussein: I was a Pharaoh in Egypt. If there’s reincarnation.
Guess who!?
The perfume community: I don’t know.
Saddam Hussein: A thousand years before her.
I don’t have a clue what to say about it. I’m sorry.
Saddam Hussein: *He laughs*
Not aging badly.
The perfume community: I guess not?
Saddam Hussein: My wife gained weight after both of her pregnancies.
The perfume community: I’ve never had a full-term pregnancy.
Saddam Hussein: None of you?!
The perfume community: No.
Some of us have.
Saddam Hussein: *Laughs*
The perfume community: She looks good!
Saddam Hussein: That’s…Ann Taylor? Or something? It’s not bad.
Navy blue.
The perfume community: Yeah. It’s not.
Very classic.
Saddam Hussein: *Nods emphatically*
She struggles finding a store that sells well-tailored clothing, in the US. Something…tasteful.
But-
*He laughs*
This isn’t bad!
The perfume community: She has good taste.
Saddam Hussein: Yes!
*He smiles*
The perfume community: She actually has great taste.
Saddam Hussein: *smiles*
Lacey: I don’t know how to do that…
I’ve never figured out how to do that.
Saddam Hussein: It’s okay!
No one ever taught you, and some people even prevented you from figuring it out.
And what’s sad? The safety of the U.S. is now at stake. …If there’s reincarnation…they’re at war…with me. By attacking you…they created an inroad. And…I’m using it. Every day.
*He smiles*
You’re one of my distant descendants. If there’s reincarnation. And you remind them of me. In their subconscious. Thank GOD.
Your reactions triggered some people’s memories. Of me. And that’s part of why the Queen was allowed to help you, as she wanted to.
Casi: So you aren’t one of them?
Lacey: Who!?
Casi: The cool girls?
Lacey: I was somewhat accepted.
Really.
But mostly? I just…-
*She shrugs*
I assumed people were smarter than they are, I think.
Casi: *Looks confused*
One of them: So you’re angry at our inability to comprehend your real tone of voice?
Lacey: Can I say yes? Or will you misinterpret that?
One of them: Yes.
Lacey: Yes!
It’s very depressing.
Chris: Lacey no one is that nice anymore!
Lacey: *Processes it*
Why are you all so dumb!?
SO dumb…
A pretentious editor at a pretentious magazine: I think you’re dumb.
Lacey: Oh! My grammar and lack of…eloquence?
A pretentious editor at a pretentious magazine: Yes.
Lacey: Yup.
You would say that. I had that one figured out a while ago.
Chris: When did you figure that out?
Lacey: In…middle school?
Chris: *Thinks*
So you purposefully screw with your grammar? And sound weird, intentionally?
Lacey: Yes.
I refuse to be controlled.
Casi: I want to be cool.
Lacey: Why?
Casi: I want to be liked.
Lacey: By cruddy people?
Casi: So you never wanted that!?
Lacey: I’m just good-looking and smart. And old money.
It’s hard not to admire that.
You’d have to be an absolute idiot not to admire that. In that context.
…But no. I never wanted…that kind of popularity.
Casi: Didn’t you do stuff to make yourself popular?
Lacey: Like what?
Casi: You were mean to me!
Lacey: Am I being mean right now?
Casi: Yes.
Lacey: I DOUBT YOU. You seem incredibly fake and egotistical to me.
I didn’t…trust you. And I don’t have to.
GET OVER IT.
You’ll start nuclear war if you can’t get your act together. And calm down.
I don’t have to like you!! GET A CLUE!
You can’t make me like you!! YOU GROSS FOOL!
Casi: Well I liked you.
Lacey: I’m not…a jerk.
You come across like a fake person. Why would anyone really like that?
Casi: But that’s only part of why I liked you.
I also liked you…because you’re so pretty-
*She cries*
Lacey: Huh.
Why would that make you like someone?
Casi: COME ON!
You like people for that reason too!
Lacey: *Thinks*
It depends.
It really depends.
Casi: Would you like me if you thought I was a good person?
Lacey: YES!
But…I actually like, or used to like, lots of people. …People are interesting!
Casi: Then why are you like that!?
Lacey: Like what!?
Casi: Why won’t you let your guard down!?
Lacey: What are you talking about?
Casi: You don’t have your guard up?
Lacey: What’s a guard? In this context?
Casi: *Looks confused*
*Looks extremely disturbed*
Why are you all like this!??
Lacey: What? Who!?
Casi: …You’re not who I thought you were.
Do you understand who I thought you were?
Lacey: No!
…Who?
Casi: You don’t- You have real boundaries. That’s good.
…I thought you were…-
*She thinks*
Kind of like a Katherine Heigl character, actually.
But better looking.
I think you’re just German.
…I don’t know you…
Lacey: Really?
Casi: Not really.
I got stuck on that idea.
Like…Katharine Heigl…but…better.
Chanel: And she wears No. 22!
Casi: Yes!
Lacey: That’s interesting.
So a darker, shorter…more petite Katharine Heigl.
Casi: Yes!
Lacey: Not me.
I’m these people, somehow:
Casi: *Thinks*
That’s better looking? Kind of? But…it’s not necessarily better?
Interesting.
It’s not worse.
But…that’s not what I thought…
Saddam Hussein: *Smiles*
*Later*
Casi: Did you think I was cool?!?
Lacey: *Thinks*
Sort of?
Casi: *Looks upset*
Who did you think was a “cool girl”?
Lacey: Actually…most of you.
Casi: *Looks disturbed*
Lacey’s neighbor: Am I cool?
Lacey: I can’t tell.
Lacey’s neighbor: I would have thought you were-
*She laughs strangely*
Lacey: NO you wouldn’t!
No way!
Lacey’s neighbor: When did you peak?
Lacey: I never did.
I have no “peak”.
Nancy: You have no peak!?
Lacey: No!
I think some people don’t.
Lem: I never had one either.
I actually did have a tragic life. My family who thought that weren’t wrong.
Casi: *Looks disturbed*
Lacey: What’s going on? Why are you all freaking-out?
One of them: So you have no friends!
Lacey: No. I do.
Why do you say that?
One of them: I’m Laura.
That’s right. …I’m her. Indisguise.
Lacey: *Smirks, but tries to control herself*
You’re Laura!?
*She acts shocked*
Chris: That’s acting!?
Lacey: Yes.
Shh!!!
One of them: You’re Laura.
*Lacey tries to figure out what that would even mean.*
You’re a person…of…DESIRE!
Lacey: DESIRE!?
One of them: YES!
All-All the men want you.
A guy in the perfume community: DUDE! She knows you’re full of shit!
Lacey:SHHH!!!!
One of them: *Laughs at Lacey, gleefully, assuming Lacey is incredibly gullible.*
You’re a woman…of…SEX.
Sex of The NIGHT.
One of Lacey’s male neighbor: I’m calling CPS. Lacey’s a prostitute?!?
Lacey: No!! No. I’m not.
Shhh!!!!
One of Lacey’s male neighbors: Why is telling me to hush!?
Lacey: Never-mind! Just shhh!!!
I’m a womanof sex!? OF THE NIGHT!?
One of them: Yes.
*She thinks*
You’re a-
*She thinks*
God: Laura and Lacey aren’t prostitutes. You’re realizing that.
A billionaire: Dammit.
I love the idea that there are 500 people on a resort.
But then she’s got to be a prostitute!
Lacey: The Tik Tok thing?
A billionaire: Yes.
Lacey: Who am I prostitute to?!?
A billionaire: I would have said Putin. But-
No. You’re right.
It doesn’t work.
Lacey: No.
I think that’s…kinda fair-
A billionaire: No!
If I don’t keep track of my money?
Lacey: Fair enough.
No, that’s actually fair. People don’t understand. But I do.
One of them: I want-
Dammit.
I’ve lost my idea…
Laura: Where were you going with that?
A billionaire: Lacey! No one is like that!!!
You worked hard in Victorian Times?
Lacey: Yes.
A billionaire: YEAH!
So do we!
Nothing has changed!!!!
They just don’t know!
Lacey: *Looks sad*
*Almost cries*
*Takes a deep breath*
*Thinks*
Life requires work. It just does.
You get…sick. If you don’t work. …Somehow you get sick.
Of course too much work is bad too.
A neighbor: I’m not popular.
Lacey: Do you want to be?
One of them: I was trying to drive her insane. To garner favor with the Illuminati…
Laura: Wow!
One of them: I know…how popularity works.
Lacey: That’s not how popularity works!
People who are popular resent when you try to be nice to them. Right?
One of them: You sound-
No!
Lacey: Yes!
One of them: Fine.
You’re right.
How did you know that secret?
*She laughs, seriously.*
Lacey’s neighbor: You really think people are that stupid?!
One of them: *Just stares at her*
Lacey’s neighbor: Yes. I do.
Lacey: WHY!?
Lacey’s neighbor: I just like the idea of being…respected.
Lacey: Like…a socialite? Or like…a society matron?
Lacey’s neighbor: A society matron.
Lacey: Yeah!
You all seem like you’d like that.
Lacey’s neighbor: Do you like that role?
Lacey: No!
I like…being respected. I like…having my personal space.
But…that’s not the same thing.
A lot of you seem like you’d have relished that role.
Lacey’s neighbor: I’ve heard your accent. And I’ve made fun of it.
What…is that?
Lacey: I don’t know!!!
It just happens.
It’s not…mental-illness. …It’s…-
*She shrugs*
A psychic would say I’m channeling myself. …Like, me from the grave.
Lacey’s neighbor: *Laughs*
…How do you do it?
Lacey: *Bites her lips*
Okay. Do you really want to know? It’s…odd.
Lacey’s neighbor: Yes.
Lacey: …It’s when you need to well…vomit? Or…when you’re being tickled? It’s…almost impossible to resist. Physically.
I’d burst into tears. …Or I’d stop breathing.
If I didn’t let myself talk that way.
I’d be gasping for air. Or I’d be weeping uncontrollably.
Lacey’s neighbor: So what do you do!?
Lacey: I just let myself.
I just let go. It’s just…-
It’s like letting yourself vomit. It’s literally physically like letting yourself vomit.
I just stop holding back. And it’s just there.
Lacey’s neighbor: So…you’re not thinking at all about what you’re doing!? At all!??
Lacey: No. It’s the opposite.
Bobby: In all honesty? I’m conjuring it.
Lacey’s neighbor: Huh.
What are you doing?
Bobby: I’m…using Voodoo.
I’m pulling on her. I’m trying to torture her.
I’m trying to replace her with my Uncle Jack. In her body.
*He laughs*
People think I’m crazy. But…the thing is…if I can do it!? Why not do it!?
Lacey’s neighbor: You’re pulling her out of her own body!?
Bobby: Yes.
Why not?
Lacey’s neighbor: Umm…-
So….you’re saying that you…use voodoo to attempt to pull her spirit out of her body!?
Bobby: YES.
*He laughs*
Lacey’s neighbor: *Think*
Bobby: So…I guess…somehow in order to survive…she does whatever- Some people think it’s reincarnation. Some don’t.
Lacey’s neighbor: Why would-
Why would you start speaking as you did in your previous life!?
Satan: Because! Think about it.
When you pull out…what’s there now…what was there before…comes out.
God: If there was a before.
Lacey’s neighbor: Why?
I would think…you’d just pop out?
*They laugh*
Listen to “When You’ve Got a Little Springtime in Your Heart” by Al Bowlly.
Elliott Roosevelt: She’s mine.
If you lose her.
She’s MINE.
*He says to Lem.*
The song plays.
Jim: *Smiles*
Would you really have loved her though?
Elliott: YES.
You don’t know.
Jim: Well.
I miss Fern.
She was my friend.
The song plays.
Curt: You’ll see her in Heaven!
Jim: I’m not good at certain things. I guess.
Curt: *almost cries*
The song ends.
Listen to “The Laurence Boy” by Thomas Newman.
Satan: No.
I’ve lied to the church about reincarnation, for centuries. If it exists.
*He balances on a rope*
You know Heath Ledger? He was channeling me. …When he played The Joker. …That’s me, making fun of myself.
…I hate what you’ve done to kids.
…So…I let him die. …He was ready to die. …Good man.
*He thinks*
Well, it’s like this. You’re like rocks. …You have layers. If there’s reincarnation.
On Earth.
In Heaven? You’re all one being.
But here…your past…is beneath this one. Like a rock.
Listen to “Snowplay” by Thomas Newman.
Satan: Lem…was still in love with Lacey. When he met Jack.
If there’s reincarnation.
Jack…was…nothing to him.
Listen to “Scarlet Fever” by Thomas Newman.
Satan: Nothing.
And that’s when I…fell in love with Lacey.
God: Why?
Satan: Because.
Why didn’t he worry more? About…love itself.
God: Love itself!
Satan: Yes.
Why wasn’t he more worried?
God: He was feeling cold. And distant.
Satan: Ha.
To me…it seemed…sad.
She loved him SO DAMN MUCH.
Or she could have.
If he really wanted her? If he really loved her? …Why wouldn’t he be more sensitive? You know? More the poet.
Listen to “Ashes” by Thomas Newman.
God: He was cold.
Satan: I can’t see their hearts. You know that, of course. But to me…it was…just…sad.
*He almost cries*
God: You shouldn’t have let him die!
Satan: *Cries*
NO!
I wanted to see him dead. And to see her reaction.
She…died inside.
Lacey: It was beautiful, actually.
Satan: WAS IT!?
Was it really Lacey!?
*He looks sad and angry*
What’s so beautiful about that!?!
HE DIED!!!! *He screams*
Lacey:
Listen to “Amy Abroad” by Thomas Newman.
Death. Destruction. …It’s beautiful. Because…we have to give-up.
Satan: *Thinks*
You’d love Hell.
*He smiles*
You really would!
Not being there. You love God. …But you’d love Hell.
Lacey: Why?
Satan: *smiles*
It’s people who deserve it. Being…brutally punished.
It’s completely fair.
*He smiles*
REALLY!
God is fair.
…It’s everything you love about death. Destruction.
Lacey: You’re smarter than most men.
That’s a shame.
Satan: Yeah.
So why? Why is it beautiful?
Lacey:
Listen to “Learning to Forget” by Thomas Newman.
Because I’m not God.
And all I would have been able to do…is die. Slowly. Missing him. Missing our kids.
Satan:Why is that beautiful!?
Lacey: Ha!
I’ve been waiting for someone to ask me questions like this my whole life.
…Well!
*She thinks*
I suppose because of Heaven.
Satan: I shouldn’t have rebelled.
I’m sorry!
I mean it!
Lacey: I’ve never been able to figure out why you did that to yourself.
It’s sad.
Because yes. Earth is…painful.
And then…you die.
And…it’s finally over. All the madness.
Satan: The loss of two parents?
Lacey: YES!
Being an orphan. Being…an orphan.
Satan: You already were ready to die. Before Lem died.
Lacey: Yes.
Satan: You’d been holding on.
Lacey: Yes.
Satan: Of course.
*He thinks.*
Awkward. Talking like this.
Lacey: Not really. You know?
Satan: I took too much from just you.
*He cries*
God: Why did you do that?
Satan: DON’T ASK ME THAT!!!
YOU ALREADY KNOW!
God: When did you decide to attempt to pull her away from the rest of humanity?
Satan: In 1870. If there’s reincarnation.
She was…so humble. So…meek.
God: And you fell in love with that? But that’s me.
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