Heaven Isn’t A Drug

(Adult audience meant for the following)

“I stopped going to public church years ago. And I’ve been praying, worshiping God and hoping to return for decades. I’ve raised my kids to be Christians. And I’ll likely re-emerge in a Catholic or Episcopalian church if I ever do re-emerge. But we’ll see.” says Lacey.

Silence.

So many ex-evangelicals, new agnostics or atheists are intellectually bourgeois or poor, arrogant, dishonest zealots with tons of intellectual conceit. And ironically they are the reason I left years ago.”

“Well, that’s good. Then once we leave you can have your church back!” one self-righteously says.

“No! No! No! Stop always missing the point.” says Lacey.

“Do you find me abhorrent intellectually?” asks the professor.

“Yes! It’s vile.” says Lacey.

Silence.

“You guys fly around and rearrange your entire life on the few faulty intellectual premises you learned in some Boomer church?” asks Lacey. “You think your pain and the annoying Christians you met destroy Christianity?” She shakes her head no. “You’re all intellectually dishonest but you’re too ignorant, or blinded into narcissistic thinking you either possess or were taught to have to get it. Or what? You’re poor? You’re the reason mass was in Latin until the 1960’s?”

“You think we are leaving the church now because we’re socially peasants compared to you, but you left decades ago for elite reasons?” asks a flummoxed ex-evangelical.

“Yes. The Boomers started the trend in their youth.” says Lacey. “Then some rediscovered their faith in non-denominational churches.” She thinks. “Now their children are coping with their intellectual mistakes made in the 1970’s or 80’s or so and leaving. But I left earlier as did some others who are generally from a higher socio-economic bracket.”

“Like Taylor Swift.” says a Millennial.

“Okay.” says another ex-evangelical, annoyed.

“But you never left?” asks an ex-evangelical.

“I never left Christianity.” says Lacey.

“There’s no real difference between Catholicism and evangelicalism!” she says condescendingly.

“That’s…not true.” says Lacey.

A Charismatic cracks-up laughing.

“You know there are born-again, charismatic Catholics.” says Lacey. “I’ve known them since childhood.”

“But then what’s the point of being a charismatic, born-again Christian?” he asks.

The ex-evangelical smiles. Rethinks her concept of Catholicism. Wonders if she should buy Catholicism this year and stop being such a chump.

“So you think we’re grappling with our faith as consumers instead of humans capable of prayer?” asks a ghost on their behalf. “Prayer to God.”

“Yes!” says Lacey. “There is no shortcut to truth.”

“Has being able to see ghosts move things around the room…challenged your inner elite atheistic voice?” asks the woman who was considering buying Catholicism. She smiles.

“Yes!” says Lacey. “And the fact that the dark forces who try to throw me and my children down on the ground on occasion respond to the name of Jesus.” says Lacey. “I’ve been fighting off demonic forces sent against me and my family for years by relying on what I learned in Charismatic Christianity.”

“And by relying on the God of the Bible too who you worship?” asks the ex-evangelical.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“Okay, but the nuts left in the church can’t read something like what you just wrote without making you into a witch.” says an ex-evangelical to Lacey. She laughs.

Lacey looks saddened.

“I’m sorry.” says Lacey to the woman.

“I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I don’t get it.” She turns to Lacey and stares at her. “Like them.” She thinks. “But I do get it. The fight for wealth in the US…has ruined our church.” She thinks. “And…you don’t think it’s even that hopeful. That we have that much power in the lower classes. You think the church still exists. But it’s for the rare who are in fights with each other over oil using demons, so to speak.” She laughs. “Or the peasants who still don’t get it.” She looks contrite. “Or those who see the beauty of unchanged, traditional Latin mass.” She sits up, “Or the peasants being tempted into actual witchcraft.”

“Peasants being tempted into actual witchcraft?” asks the professor.

“Yes! Making Jesus a sexual being fit their access feels very close to forming a coven to me.” says Lacey.

“You think our charismatic churches are being transformed into covens?” asks the charismatic Christian hater.

“Yes! There’s always been that element since I was a little girl, but my parents are possibly elite and were at the forefront of it. …And I wonder based on what I’ve observed if it’s taking more.” says Lacey.

“You think it’s impossible that there’s a sexual connection between the church and Christ?” asks a Charismatic Christian hater.

“Yes!” says Lacey. “That’s a real metaphor.”

“Boy! I’ve been at odds with you elites my whole life!” says the professor.

“That’s idiotic! You went to Kings College. You can hardly honestly claim that.” says Lacey.

“I went there and am a renegade now because if it!” he says.

“That’s absurd. You rely on that credential to claim authority.” says Lacey. “You’re like an ungrateful, immature teenager.”

“Oh no! She’d think that! But what she doesn’t know is that all the cool kids agree with him!” says a cool Boomer who went there too. Matter-of-fact this permanent teenager runs the damn place. “See…you don’t get it!”

“I don’t get the new music you kids like and the way you wear your hair long?” asks Lacey.

“Yes!” he says.

“Yeah, you guys are tough dudes. But it’s like…you get it.” she says. “I’ve never understood what it is beyond some narcissistic bullshit but do explain.”

“It is the wind in your hair on a motorcycle in the summer. It is a book that makes you smile. It is the way the snow falls in the winter on the sidewalk. It is a lover’s embrace. It is the vibe of friends hanging out finding joy in each other’s company. It is love.” says a Boomer.

“But generations before you existed as humans and experienced that normal stuff too and didn’t reject all of Christianity other than the supposedly cool shit that gets you high.” says Lacey.

“Why does Charismatic Christianity get you high?” asks a Christian hater.

“Because you’re either experiencing something Godly but non-sexual from the Holy Trinity or you’re experiencing witchcraft.” says Lacey. “If it feels at all sexual it’s a ghost or a demon.” says Lacey.

“So we vandalized Christianity?” asks a Boomer. “Just to feel something.”

“Close. There’s nothing uplifting about deconstructionism to me. It’s old. It’s outdated intellectually. But people still cling to it to feel more elite.” says Lacey. “And maybe normal people don’t cling to it and post on Tik Tok. Maybe it’s just social climbers who post to Tik Tok with their horses, bourgeois bullshit pseudo intellectualism and fake glow-ups. ‘Try deconstructing your faith! You’ll look and feel great! Try it today!’”

And all the girls who try to look like Caroline Calloway did in 2019 in 2022 online with insipid Bimbo lips and strangely long nails with that look…agree. “Try it today!” They shake their iced coffee and chew their gum loudly. Waiting. Trying to manifest the supposedly cool shit they barely enjoy.

“Whatever! I’m high society. I…don’t care!” says one of them.

“I bet those women just make you low-key jelly.” says the Christian hater. “I wanna tap their asses not yours you hoe!”

“I don’t!” says the professor.

“Whose ass do you want to tap?” asks Lacey.

“I’m confused. How does one tap an ass?” asks Jack Kennedy.

“I don’t think they’re thinking of anal sex.” says Lacey.

“What are they talking about then?!” he wonders.

“It’s nonsense.” says Lacey. “But I don’t think they grasp that.”

“It’s a saying!” says the professor.

“But what does it mean?” asks JFK.

“It means vaginal sex.” the professor admits.

“But a vagina isn’t an ass.” says Lacey.

Silence.

“Have you guys ever thought to deconstruct deconstructionism?” asks Michael of the deconstructionists. “What about you?” he asks of the Christians.

“We did!” says a dead pastor who taught at an Assemblies God Church.

“But that was 20 years ago.” says Lacey. “And they don’t realize they’re recycling things oftentimes?”

An atheist laughs. “Okay. If it’s…weirdly scientific…I can concede that there’s a great many things we don’t know about life. There could be some…innocent matrix? Or…no…just an afterlife. And we have yet to scientifically understand it.” He smiles. “But…I think your real irritation is that we think there’s nothing that came before us like us. Ever.”

Silence.

“I’d suspect that that’s mostly true.” says Lacey.

“It’s where this all leads us that scares her.” says Michael.

“So you feel we’re being used by the Satanic elite to destroy our own faith?” asks a Christian Charismatic.

“And should that be the case, I get her concern!” says the atheist shrugging. “There’s been enough social upheaval. We don’t need more needless drama.” He thinks. “Just to do what? Feel special? It is…weird.” Pause. “Why can’t we focus on something other than drama?! Like…fixing the problems?”

“The Boomers tried that but it was slow going. And the Christian conservatives felt hurt by their exclusion from the elites.” says Lacey. “So the Christian conservatives decided to charge the citadel politically instead.”

Being a bit of a narcissist he falls apart here.

The professor laughs.

Nodding her head like she’s aiming to start a brouhaha, “Well, we’re wondering if you were part of the group of Christian Conservatives who…charged the…citadel?” she winders. She throws up a fake gang sign. She being a jealous woman who secretly wants her ass tapped by the attractive Christian hater.

Awkward silence.

“I do not!” she says.

“He has a swarm of needy, clingy, toxic young women who fought you off while he sat and played innocent?” asks the professor. “Probably using psychologically complex methods. And I have those females too.”

The atheist nods and smiles. Laughs. Rolls his eyes.

“Does this make sense to you?” asks an elite at Kings College of the atheist.

The atheist nods yes.

“How so?” asks the elite at Kings College.

“She’s…fertile?” the atheist asks Lacey.

“I was. Extremely.” says Lacey.

He laughs and nods. “It’s so…ordinary.” He smiles. He thinks. “She’s a slim, petite woman who’s also very fertile. She’s like a sexual delicacy.” He shrugs. “I’m sorry what do you want me to say?! I’m an atheist.” He laughs.

“And then what?” asks Lacey.

“You got poached by ghosts.” he says. “Should they exist. Because they possibly reasoned that if you could produce genetically good enough children with a man of their choosing that they could have you ahead of time, so to speak. Since most men today are confused.”

“Confused by what?” asks Lacey.

“Okay! So here’s where it gets interesting.” he says. “The professor likely fell in love with a hot girl in England who preferred atheists. And you remind him of her. But you’re seemingly available now.” He looks sad. “And the Christian hater likely had a similar experience. Possibly not with an elite dish, pardon the misogynist literary device, but with some…free-spirited woman who loved sex for what it is as much as you do. Maybe she wasn’t as aware or moral as you, though.”

The professor sighs, rolls his eyes and walks off overwhelmed.

“And…so…they have swarms of women who want any chance they have have to find a fertile woman again to be destroyed. Because those women need their virility to reproduce. Even if they’re aging. It’s their human instinct. And they work in a team. Because they subconsciously know they need to to procreate or secure a viable man.” he says. “Those women tolerate each other out of blindness and a sense of responsibility to their genes.”

“A sense of responsibility to their genes?” asks Lacey.

“Yes. They feel the need to promote their ancestors.” he says. “To not let their flame be extinguished.”

“And this is why we love God. Because there’s not much hope outside of Him.” says the Kings College elite.

“But that’s the problem. They made God an elite. He defies our fallen human conventions in regard to class.” the atheist says. “If He exists, He’s enormous. But also perfectly meek.”

“Do you think there’s anything to be said for why my haters attack the validity of my genes constantly?” asks Lacey.

“Yes!” he smiles.

He laughs, “I think you’ve had a public relations hit job performed on you since childhood by less fertile men and women. To convince men and you that you’re not the most fertile choice.” he says.

“Those swarming women are fighting for the continuation of their genes. As are narcissistic and/or unaware gay men who want a possibly straight man like Lem, should he be a ghost, who can pull fertile women. They need his link to fertility to not feel unable to keep their genes alive.” he says. “Jack may not have actually been as good at attracting fertile women as Lem. Or been as fertile himself. …If they could convince themselves that Bobby Sr. was gay they’d feel more confident then too. It’s possibly why they narcissistically cling to the hope that all men are secretly attracted to men.” He thinks. “It’s impossible, but I think a lot of our human instincts aren’t rationally expressed in some people because they’re instincts not reason.”

“But the instincts give us a lot to learn from!” says Lacey. “If we can analyze them honestly.”

“Do you think of yourself as smart?” he asks Lacey.

“No. Not really.” she says. “I know I am, but I don’t think of myself that way.”

“Because you might not need to work.” he says. “And not just because you’re fertile and should be kept so according to some atheists. Or should have been. And you thankfully were. …But…because you’re possibly elite.” he says. “And it’s that last category that scares them the most. Because it speaks to their possible extinction.” He ponders, “Like their efforts won’t pay off. And the shore is miles away.”

“But why don’t they just tell me that?” she asks.

“Honestly, I don’t think they consciously know.” he says.

“And that’s the hope of an atheist. To figure it out beautifully.” she says.

“Lacey, how attractive is that man?” asks a perfume hater.

“And this is by no means an excuse to be heartless!” says the man. “The contrary.” He thinks. “Nor is it an excuse to be evil in any other way. Like pedophilia.”

“Pedophilia is an internal audit on the elite.” says Lacey. “It can’t be the end of the world if God exists. If goodness exists. No, it’s a knife to cut liars into pieces. The scum at the top. But it’s a fallen world and pray for the children who got cut up in the process. And whoever is at fault I’m coming for you…”

“Don’t take advantage of us!” they weakly try to sound human.

“Oh, I’m going to cut your penis off with a knife slowly…and then make you choke in a pool of your own blood while your victims laugh.” says Lacey. “And then I’ll let maggots eat your rotting corpse while you’re trapped inside your body because you can’t die anymore. And if that doesn’t help I’ll let God try. Or I’ll have to think of better ways to make your brains work.” She thinks. “You’re slum. You are the soul of the slum.”

“You could gouge out their eyes.” says an agnostic.

“Oh! Let’s be careful. Some smartass narcissistic wannabe hotshot will think these are good things to do to me and my family.” says Lacey.

“Putin could just blow us up?” asks a Millennial.

“Yes! But I’ve argued against it thus far.” says Lacey. “He has his own mind though. And a legacy to consider.”

“Does that mean he will blow us up?” asks a perfume hater.

“That’s entirely up to him. Isn’t it? He has his own mind.” says Lacey. “He might not. He might. We can’t control him. It’s his choice. But thankfully he seems to have a good mind.”

“I have a feeling he won’t?” says the professor.

“Do you want him to kill us and prove otherwise? Michael and I could go on a date more easily. And I’m sure angels could babysit my kids.” says Lacey.

The atheist laughs. He nods in understanding.

“Of course, that’s only if I’m with Michael. I might be with Louis or Lem.” says Lacey.

“But pedophiles are all molestation victims! And that atheist is hot!” says a persistent hater who is a sexual deviant in narcissistic denial.

“The atheist is hot actually. He’s my type. But…that’s just the way it is. And I’m with dead men if Purgatory exists. And no, being molested doesn’t make you a pedophile. It just is horrific.” says Lacey.

The atheist nods. Shrugs.

“Honestly, if Putin should just blow us all up…I’m not going to hate him. But I’m going to be irrationally annoyed in the afterlife.” says a woman. She smiles.

“Is this entirely because we raped kids in the 60’s and then killed them with drug addiction afterward?” asks a celebrity.

“Oh! They weren’t killed by drug addiction. They were killed by your bad parenting and slum brain.” says Lacey.

“Then do I deserve maggots?” he asks her.

“It depends.” says Louis.

“It cannot be denied that it felt good to molest those kids!” says a malignant narcissist pedophile.

“Do you think I’m not aware that to someone deranged like you it feels good? I’m not. But you know vomiting feels good too at times. So does killing yourself. So does walking. …You’re too stupid to realize you don’t have a point. You’re a Buffon.” says Lacey.

“Yeah! I gotta a point!” says a wannabe hotshot elite snorting like a wannabe pig in the afterlife.

“But you’re not in my brain!” the buffoon says. “You don’t know!”

“Why did it feel good?” asks Lacey.

“Because it’s sexual pleasure to my body. And I like hurting innocent people. But children are the most innocent and trusting.” he says. “It’s also fun to lie to myself hardcore and believe I’m making them actually enjoy it in a normal way.”

“That’s possibly accurate.” says Lacey. “So you also lie in believing other humans aren’t just made with the ability to experience sexual pleasure in normal actually more pleasurable ways.”

“It’s not more pleasing!” he says.

“Oh no! It is! You’re experiencing someone else or you’re experiencing another demonic lie or it’s nothing at all.” says Joe Jr..

“True! Seemingly. You’re an absolute buffoon sexually.” says Lacey. “You’re one of the most truly retarded and evil type of humans to exist sexually, actually.” She thinks. “But your actual massive addiction to lying fascinates me. How creative although evil, of course.”

“Maggots? Really. I get your concept of restorative justice.” says an elite to Lacey. “And of course kids being kids developmentally must be, have to be left alone sexually, and so pedophilia really is profoundly stupid on that basis alone. But…I bet God can do better? Better in regard to the maggots.”

“I just like lying!” says the sexual buffoon.

“Hmm. That’s profound!” says a woman to him.

“No! It’s not. But I do! I just like lying.” he says.

“I’ll let God handle it of course, but perhaps my maggots will be part of it.” says Lacey.

“Do you like lying enough to be eaten alive by maggots until you disappear?” the woman asks the sexual buffoon.

He struggles. “No. I’m just that stupid.” He wants to break his addiction.

“Is this why the poor were considered evil and why they thought the peasants molested people?” asks a perfume hater.

“I’d bet yes.” says Lacey. “F. Scott Fitzgerald alludes to that historical possibility in Tender Is The Night.”

“No, I bet he might.” says the atheist.

A bourgeois hater looks profoundly perplexed.

“But that’s not the story!” says a bourgeois elite. “It’s proof she’s lying!”

“Lying about what?” asks another bourgeois woman.

“What line is it in the novel that you’re thinking of?” asks the professor.

“See this is why I wonder if she’s just a prostitute!” says the Christian hater.

“Yeah!!!” says a woman in his swarm.

“No. I’m not.” says Lacey.

“But you have the smarts to get them hot!” the Christian hater says. “There’s no way they love you. And it’s equal. You’re a poor peasant trying to hack it like us!”

“It’s the line where possibly Dick Diver calls someone a peasant? The man who molested his daughter from Chicago.” says Lacey.

“And you hope men like me actually love their daughters as daughters.” he says. “But you worried I was a malignant fraud instead.”

“Yes, but not because of that book solely if at all, I don’t think.” says Lacey.

“That’s a line in the book!? I’ll burn up all the books! I don’t want you to be right and smart and stuff!” says the bourgeois woman. “Wait! You thought the professor was a pedophile?!” she grins, drooling.

“Don’t bother burning up all the books. Then it will be a mess intellectually those who genuinely care can’t afford to fix right now.” says a man.

“I’ve said some weird things over the years.”says theprofessor.

“Yes! I hope it was an accident.” says Lacey. “But regardless, I couldn’t read you anymore. I couldn’t get a good sense of who you are. And I decided to play it safe.”

“That’s because Satan is your interpreter. He’s the one explaining other people to you. If you knew us you’d meet us you’d be free!” says the Christian hater dancing to their so-called worship music with lights and smoke in the background.

“You know what’s sad?” says a man from Flint, Michigan who could sit down and talk with Lacey over dinner and not be weird. “He has crooked teeth.”

Lacey agrees.

“But fixing teeth is rich people stuff!” says Lacey sarcastically.

“In 2022?” he says.

“There’s Invisalign.” says Lacey. “But it’s not good enough.”

“Do you think there should be free dental care?!” scoffs a Gen Xer.

The professor rolls his eyes.

“Well…if we don’t let them ruin our lives in that way they’ll stop caring about us at all…and then they’ll just start killing us or they’ll just brainwash us into being perverted, suicidal buffoons. We have to let them almost kill us. They can’t think hard enough to fix it. Everyone’s a retarded accident anyway. Jesus just loves us because he’s a moron like my mom.” says the Gen X woman.

“Okay. So. That’s not quite true in regard to what we can or could have done to advance quality of life. But…the rest is the way they have chosen to frame it. Jesus isn’t a moron though.” says Lacey. Taylor Swift starts playing. “There are a great many things to unpack here. But pedophilia is wrong, unequivocal shit, absolutely ugly and deplorable. And you may be punished with maggots after death. So don’t molest kids or advocate for it.”

“We really are this dumb!” weeps a Boomer about his generation.

“So…what are you going to do about it?” asks Lacey.

“Just keep being dumb! What else?!” says a demon with a wink. It’s the end of the television show. And the darkness emerges. But the new technology and a dying generation will fix it. Right? Because it’s smart to be stupid?

Bargains

(For an adult audience)

“So to save her life and function as an organization they found dead men for Lacey?” wonders a hater who finds it hilarious.

“That’s so logical in a way.” says a wizard.

“Actually it’s mundane. In a nice way.” says a psychic.

“Well, I wouldn’t call it mundane.” says another psychic.

“What doesn’t make sense to me…is why they assumed she’d be so upset at first.” says a Christian hater.

“Upset? Like, they thought she was going to be bowled over by their enormous privilege and glamour and status?” A woman thinks. “Or bowled over like they could easily figure her out. And in a matter of minutes assess her?”

“More both. I think they made snap judgements like lots of people do with enigmatic people who scare them. Except their success and glory has soo gone to their heads that they forgot who they really were.” says the Christian hater. “And they oversimplified a Christian who they couldn’t stand the thought of.” He thinks. “Like, she’s gotta be an idiot somehow if she’s a Christian. Right?! Isn’t that what you were assuming?” He licks his lips and thinks. “Do you have any idea how ignorant that assumption is?”

“I’m a Jew. And I can say from experience that truly religious people aren’t as stupid as people make the out to be. Sorry.” says a Jewish woman. “I’m sorry. You guys woke up on the wrong side of the bed whenever this happened.”

“I know.” says a black man.

“Why Lacey though?” asks the Christian hater.

“I found her attractive.” says the Illuminati hater.

“So what!” says the Christian hater. “Did you feel led by something to contact her?”

A woman reading yawns. Rolls her eyes.

“She could contact me. I thought she was psychic.” he says.

“Did she know she was contacting you?” asks the Christian hater.

The woman yawning shakes her head no. “It’s all New Age. I mean, you can learn it that way. It’s not a big mystery.”

“But she’s not New Age.” the Christian hater protests.

“No. But are you? Where is this conversation taking place? The understanding of that is New Age. And possibly Christian. They just interpret the same supernatural phenomena differently.” she says.

He thinks.

“So…she was raised Charismatic. And…” she shrugs.

“That’s why she is soo adamant about certain things.” he says. He cries. “So they took advantage of her curiosity?”

“Yes! Just to feel socially superior.” says Lacey.

“And they acted like that was for certain. It seems. Or they’re narcissistically stuck defending that position?” he asks.

“Yes.” says Lacey. “And I refuse to backdown. So much more is at stake. Like my kid’s lives. The people who hate me most are bourgeois pedophiles.”

He finds that too funny not to laugh.

“Do less bourgeois people question the morality of it more or lose touch with reality more?” asks a very Liberal hater.

“And become easier to handle?” asks Lacey.

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“Do you think we’re in the End Times?” asks the perfume hater.

“The eye symbolizes them keeping an eye on us.” says the Christian hater.

“Yes. And it’s beautiful when it reflects Christianity. But…sadly it doesn’t always.” says Lacey. “I doubt we’re in the End Times. But I don’t know for certain. I wouldn’t assume either way.”

“What are they doing?” asks the Christian hater.

“I don’t know for certain. But I think it’s possibly like what they did before the Tower of Babel.” she says. “It’s talking and like a neighborhood watch program for the elite, essentially.” She thinks. “The Satanism is concerning. But sometimes I highly suspect God sees their hearts when they have His aims in mind.”

“And he understands.” says the Christian hater.

“He understands that people bully each other.” says Lacey.

“Viciously.” says Michael.

“There are times I partake in their religious practices by choice but I do so only to a point and with a secret request made of God first.” says Lacey.

“So what do you do?” asks a Jew.

“Music.” says Lacey.

“Blindfolded or not?” asks a hater.

“I can’t see them with my living eyes.” says Lacey.

“Do you respect them?” asks a hater.

“I respect the old. I respect the English. I respect the Swiss. I respect a great many people.” says Lacey.

“Did the Illuminati hater decide to attack the British Crown of the 1800’s or was he really honestly convinced you were Marilyn Monroe?” asks a southern woman.

“Wait!! So they’re not all Satanists first. And…in what context did you meet this hater?” asks the Christian hater.

“He must have really thought that to some degree.” she says. “And honestly it was through my first Instagram account.”

“How did he find you?” asks a perfume hater.

“I gave him my phone number. I thought he was a very different sort of person.” says Lacey. “But I gave my phone number to far too many people back then in general.”

Her mouth drops open. “How did you give him your phone number?”

“I emailed it to him once.” says Lacey.

“And the other time?” the perfume hater asks.

“He got it through other means.” says Lacey.

“So hr contacted you and then you emailed your phone number to him thinking it made sense somehow. But in reality it was obtained through evil means?” she asks.

“Yes. Should they exist they use brutal telepathy. It makes you feel insane. But unless they’re controlling you they can’t bribe doctors easily.” she says.

“So if they’re not insane and they’re too removed they can’t silence them quickly enough?” asks a perfume collector. “Them being their victims.”

“Telepathy is far more sophisticated and possible than scientists are allowed to believe. And witchcraft is quite powerful. It’s really not wildly different than the Old Testament described it. Really, it’s all just old fashioned supernatural stuff that’s been hidden or takes too much time and money for most people to practice.” says Lacey. “Or they wouldn’t want to.” She thinks. “At least, that’s what I’ve experienced.”

“What is their telepathy?” asks a psychic.

“I’ve wondered that myself. It’s either a scientific thing we don’t understand publicly or they use demons sort of like carrier pigeons.” says Lacey.

“So it’s like hearing the radio…in another room…or it’s like hearing disembodied voices.” says a woman.

“That’s pretty close.” shrugs Lacey. “Except it feels closer to schizophrenia than that. But I’m not schizophrenic…so…”

“Should it not be schizophrenia…do you think it’s connected to the way possibly Michael or Lem can literally touch you?” asks an Englishman. “And should it be them, have.”

Lacey hears a male voice laughing. She wonders who it is. It seems to not be a demon but Michael.

“Do you ever get really concerned for your friends?” asks a Christian hater.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“For Christian reasons?” he asks.

“Yes! I preach sometimes. And they’re very gracious about it.” she says.

“So there are Christians who are at times forced into it?” he asks. “And they’re used to being preached at by them too at times.”

“Yes!” she says.

“I hope they don’t go to Hell either.” he says.

“Are the English secretly megalomaniac, romantic people with a heart?” wonders a hater.

“Romantic megalomaniacs?” asks someone.

“I think the nature of world politics forced them to be. I don’t think they necessarily wanted to be. But…they do run things better than almost any other culture in my opinion.” says Lacey.

Silence.

“Yes.” says Michael. “I mean yes, the way I can manifest myself isn’t normal.”

“Lacey I think the way living people manifest is in God’s hands too.” says the Englishman.

“And He let’s them reject Him.” she says. Her breathing stops for a second but she keeps breathing.

“How are you breathing?” asks a perfume hater.

“Through her nose. But it’s not her lungs.” says Scott. “It’s not matter in the way you think.” He sounds concerned. “But don’t try it.”

“So air is passing in and out of her nose without it being obvious to a human whose apparently alive?” asks the Christian hater.

A light like a firefly floats above a radiator. Then it disappears. Then a dark shadow almost manifests. And Zelda audibly clears her throat at the same time as Lacey.

“I wonder if we’ll find this stuff as fascinating after we’re dead?” asks an Englishman.

Michael laughs. “It’s not that boring.”

“What is your explanation of the afterlife?” asks Michael.

“It seems like there are two worlds in the same place at once?” she says. “Which is how you give me air?”

“Yes.”

“So just to be clear, don’t try to get air from the dead. It’s really not safe.” says Lacey.

“You’d say that because you are a slaver.” says a 12 year old.

“No. It’s not safe.” says Lacey.

“Why not?”

“Demons can try to kill you. By smothering you or stopping your heart or making you choke. Or making you trip. Only if you give them some permission to mostly though.” says Lacey. “So if you aren’t trying to interact with entities you should be fine. But pray to God to protect you anyway.”

“Did you find out about what ghosts do at an Illuminati meeting?” she asks.

“With air?” asks Lacey.

“Yes.”

“Actually I found out about it while they were attacking me years ago.” says Lacey.

“Because it literally felt like you couldn’t breath? Like you were being suffocated?” she asks.

“Yes.” says Lacey. “It was like my nose and mouth stopped working. Like I was drowning.” says Lacey.

“Okay. So that’s not allowed.” says a psychic outside the Illuminati.

“So I should be super careful not to practice supernatural stuff that isn’t Christian and safe. And pray to God.” says the 12 year old.

“Yes.” says Lacey to the 12 year old. “And yes, God has told me that.” she says to the psychic.

“Yeah, they might know how to summon demons to try to suffocate you. But-“. He sighs. “I doubt that’s allowed in your case.”

“So Ivana fell down the stairs? Because someone threw you down the stairs?” asks the man in the speed boat.

“Yes.” says Lacey. “Are you dead?”

“Not yet. This is all happening in my subconscious.” he says.

“Where are you now?” she asks.

“Working at Amazon.” he says.

“Is that normal?” asks a psychic from outside the Illuminati.

“Not necessarily.”

“Is AI turning on you?” asks a ghost.

Silence.

“Do you need to start including adult robots in your meetings?”

An Illuminati member laughs. “We’ll be replace by robots too!”

“Can you imagine what Eyes Wide Shut would even be for robots?” asks an observer.

“It’s unlikely to be safe.” says Lacey. “That being said, it’s likely that it’d be hilarious to us humans.”

“Even if they’re possessed?” asks a woman.

“I have a feeling they’d start things literally on fire.” says Lacey.

“Why?” asks a human.

“Because that’s what the demons would tell them to do? Or it’d happen by accident? And they’d think they could survive a fire?” she wonders.

“Like Blade Runner.” says a Christian hater.

“Not too far from that.” says Lacey.

“Why did he think you were Marilyn Monroe?” asks a hater.

“I don’t know.” asks Lacey. “It’s a very weird thing,”

“I was too blinded by self-hatred and jealous to realize how weird it is.” says someone. She feels incredibly creeped out suddenly.

“Here’s the thing…isn’t…it…weird that you inculcated her into your meetings and then she seems to be powerless to resist Michael and Lem?” says the Christian hater. “Those are either demons or the actual men.”

“And your point?” asks a billionaire.

“Is she really innocuous?” asks the Christian hater.

“What are you worried about kind sir?” asks an actor.

“Does she just rise to the top like a social butterfly? Or like-“

“Like a cheerleader?” asks a hater?

“Yeah. Like a cheerleader. Or…is she being bought and sold?” he asks.

“Bought and sold where?” asks Lacey.

“In wherever you think the ghosts are.” he says to Lacey.

“Who bought me first?” asks Lacey.

“Lem?” he says sheepishly.

“No. I’ve not been sexually bought and sold in Purgatory.”

“Quit trying to make my daughter trash. It’s foul.” says Tommy Banks.

“You mean I’m trying to frame things in such a way to suggest that she’s foul?” asks the Christian hater.

“Oh yes. He means you, precious.” says Joe Kennedy Jr. to the Christian hater.

“And yet you still think it’s weird we thought she was Marilyn Monroe reincarnated?” asks a woman of the Christian hater.

“Wasn’t she writing accidentally about Joe Jr.?” the Christian hater asks.

Silence.

“She was.” Joe Jr. says.

“Why did Marilyn Monroe make sense?” he asks.

“Because she knew them?!” shrugs the Illuminati hater.

“But they might have killed her. And then she sleeps with Joe in a story not Jack? Or what?” asks the Christian hater.

“Okay! Whatever.” says a now irritated Illuminati hater.

“Doesn’t that seem odd though?” asks the Christian hater.

“It made me able to insult her sexuality.” says the Illuminati hater.

“Her what?” asks the Christian hater.

“Like she was a vulnerable, sensitive, sad, but somehow-“ he struggles intellectually. “Old lady sexually?”

“Old lady?!” asks the Christian hater.

“Yes. Like an old soul.” says the Illuminati hater.

“Or actually old?” asks the Christian hater.

“It’s actually old, possibly. But in my mind it wasn’t. Because she was only in her mid 30’s.” he says.

“Yeah. I’m right though right? She’s being bought and sold?” the Christian hater asks.

“No! No. I thought you understood that.” says a woman to the Christian hater.

“Dear, is there a voice in your spirit that keeps telling you that?” asks a woman. “That she’s a witch prostitute?”

“Yes.” he shrugs.

“Are you sure that’s God? Not a spirit lying to you?” asks an actor.

Silence.

“Actually, my first thought was that she’s a plant from the Rockefeller’s.” he admits.

“Like a plant version of Marilyn Monroe?” asks a woman.

He thinks. “What?!”

“Could she be a plant with the demons who attached themselves to Marilyn Monroe?” asks the woman. “Like, attached to her.”

“Do you mean like an actual plant?” he asks.

“Yeah! Like a houseplant human. From the Rockefeller’s? But then why would Michael’s ghost be in love? Or is that too lurid?”

“Is Mark Zuckerberg a variety of cacti?” asks another woman.

“No. I meant did the Rockefeller’s get her into the Illuminati to do what though?” asks a woman.

“To irritate the Billings?” asks a Billings.

“But you’re sure she’s not a plant or a witch or prostitute or Marilyn Monroe?” asks a woman of the Christian hater.

“Yes!” he says. “I think it’s just way easier to bully her than try to stand up to whoever is bullying her.” he admits. “I’m scared.”

“I’m not!” says Lem.

“But…what if it’s what you didn’t want to say? That they called to her? And I was merely a method to getting access to her? For Michael. Not Joe DiMaggio reincarnated, should he exist. And he probably might not.” says the Illuminati hater.

“Well, I’m hungry. And not for water, dirt and sunshine. And I’m tired too.” says Lacey.

“What are you hungry for?” asks Lem.

“More spaghetti, honestly. But the noodles are gone. And so I’ll likely have…” Lacey can’t decide.

“Cereal!” he says.

“Like literally?” asks the Christian hater.

Sleepy, “Yeah, ok. It’s dumb to think she’s Marilyn.”

“Yes. I’m literally going to have a bowl of granola cereal.” says Lacey.

“I wish I had homemade spaghetti sauce in my refrigerator right now.” he says.

“I wish you did too!” says Lacey.

“I’m sorry I might have wondered if you were evil.” he says.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you. I had feelings for Michael and Lem and Louis predating knowing of you. Or at least Louis and Lem.” she says.

“But they’re ghosts. Or demons. And…” he says. “You we’re trying to be healthy and godly.”

“Yes! I was.” says Lacey.

“Could you have lived the life of Marilyn Monroe?” he asks her.

“No.” says Lacey. “Say, thanks for your concern. Sincerely. Keep praying and I’ll pray too. And I hope we get to wave hello someday in Heaven.” says Lacey.