“Lacey’s Pain” by Lem

I made a horrific mistake.

Yesterday Lacey bought bread from a man who lived on a run down, yet very beautiful, Wisconsin farm. His daughter makes pies and bread. And…he looks like me. I’m not that remarkably better looking than him. His wife is…average. …Lacey is…a rare beauty. And…I had no idea how to reconcile the fact that that man…could have that wife…and be happy…when I don’t look that different than him.

Lacey’s not like some people. She isn’t interested in being better than other people. So…my intelligence…and good breeding…matters…but only in the most edifying way. And people have misunderstood that. …If a young man had courage and Godliness and just high intelligence…but no grand family associations…she’d still be able to love him. …So what’s keeping her with me!?

“We are in so much trouble!!!” says a demon who assisted the Kennedys to attack Lacey.

A dead Catholic woman from Wisconsin nods her head.

And I’ve realized she just loves me. And I’ve realized she feels almost none of my love for her. At all. Actually…she feels excruciating rejection from me. The Kennedys created a fantasy world where I was in love with Jack the way I could love Lacey and no one else to have ever been created. And they’ve been living in that fantasy world since I first met Jack in the 1930’s.

My son with Lacey wanted to climb a tree. And I realized I’m not alive to spot him. And that he’s really missing out. …Jack…demonically intuited that moment…and tried to steal my love for my son…out of profound evil in his heart…and make it his. And make it sexual. My love for my son isn’t sexual at all. …But Jack assumed if he added sex…I’d not miss my son. Or something.

I was trying to kill Bobby Kennedy Junior. I made a mistake with him too, it’s true. I didn’t manage to kill him. …And I needed to. I needed to kill him…or completely ignore him and let him feel the…darkness of his family as it actually exists. And he may have wound up dead in a literal gutter. Of drugs. In the 1980’s. But that would have been better than what happened. He’s a literal murderer. Of children. And a vile hypocrite. …And a con artist.

“Yeah he is Lem.” says a straight man in Wisconsin.

“You were here?” says the man on the farm.

“I was.” says Lem.

He smiles. “Did you like Wisconsin?”

“I did. …It reminded me of home.” says Lem.

“Why didn’t you just settle down!??” he yells at Lem.

“I really just didn’t want to ruin some woman’s life.” says Lem.

The man’s wife laughs and rolls her eyes.

“Women aren’t dumb, Lem!” says the man.

“I KNOW! …But they’re women!” says Lem.

The man thinks. Looks sad and serious. And tries not to cry. He walks off.

“You could have been okay!” says his wife.

“I meant well.” says Lem.

She smiles at him kindly. With empathy.

Awkward conversations.

“True confessions: Lacey’s been spiritually living her whole life in Pittsburgh.” says a demon who’s attacked her.

I didn’t love Jack. I said otherwise…but you have to interpret that within the context it was said in. And nobody ever does!

Look…she’s heard me. Exceptionally well! She’s misunderstood one or two things. And God’s clarified.

I didn’t love Jack. Not really. …When I said that I was heterosexual. So there’s literally no way I could have meant it! First of all. …Second of all…I meant it as a statement of loyalty, in reality. …I thought I was gay. …But I wasn’t. So…I assumed I had real love for him. Because I didn’t know any better. But it was really more loyalty than anything. And it wasn’t sexual nor romantic at all. …I thought it was. But it wasn’t.

“Lem!!! How could you have made that mistake!??” says a living gay man.

Solitude by M83 plays.

“I don’t think you understand.” says Lem very coldly.

“Oh! You’re exaggerating your point!??” says a lesbian.

“NO!” says Lem. “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!”

Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush plays.

“You really don’t.” says Lacey, simply.

The gay men look at her, stupidly. Confused.

“She’s trying to BE GOD?” says Lacey.

Jenna Bush nods at Lacey silently.

“WHY!?!” says Lacey, who’s baffled.

4:34

“Jack Kennedy loved this song. He didn’t understand the lyrics. But he really thought he did.” says a demon.

The song ends.

“WHY would you EVER want to be God!?!” says Lacey, enraged by the stupidity.

“Because they think it would give them power.” says Jenna, to explain. “To climb up hills and shit.”

Lacey looks incredibly angry. But she’s silent.

“To run up buildings!??” she says, ENRAGED.

The woman who baked the pies nods at Lacey.

Lacey wants to vomit. “THIS IS PERVERSE!!!” yells Lacey.

“Lacey! …They think they know. …I thought I knew.” explains Kate Bush in the afterlife.

“That’s INSANE!!” says Lacey.

“Yeah. It’s interpreted as me exchanging my role with a man. …But…I meant it secretly as also exchanging my role with God.” says Kate Bush.

“That’s so coddled.” says Lacey.

“It is.” admits Kate Bush.

The stops.

“People take themselves far too seriously in the wrong way.” says Lacey.

The End of All Our Exploring by Max Richter plays.

“Listen…it’s quite simple. …GET A CLUE!” says Lacey to all living gay men who don’t understand Lem.

“How’s that then?” says one of them.

“He simply didn’t understand love.” says Lacey. “Lots of people were like that! STILL ARE.”

2:22

“Good LORD!” says a living lesbian, rolling her eyes.

“No!! REALLY!!!” says Lacey. “He just didn’t understand.”

3:10

The song ends.

The Swimmer plays.

“What don’t you understand!??” says Lacey, exasperated.

“How could anyone mistake whatever that was for love!?” scoffs a gay man.

The song ends.

Jump Around by House of Pain plays.

Lacey chains him up.

Out of SEETHING rage.

0:52

The horse that killed Lady Rosslyn sings.

1:22

Should there be reincarnation.

1:43

“Jump, BITCH!!” she commands all gay men.

Lacey eats bacon.

2:33

“JUMP!!!” she yells at them.

2:53

Lacey laughs.

“What!? You can’t jump!?” she says.

The song restarts.

“We’re CHAINED!” they say.

“Oh!!” she says, aghast. “WHY!?”

The song plays.

“YOU CHAINED US!!!” they yell.

“WHAT!?!” she yells.

The song plays.

“We can’t JUMP!” they yell.

“WHY!?!” yells Lacey.

The song plays.

The song plays.

The song ends.

The song restarts LOUDER.

The horse dances. Recording itself. In Heaven.

“Jump around!!!” yells an African warrior who died on the land of Africa in 1879.

The song plays.

Lacey beats the men senseless if necessary.

“YOU CAN’T CONQUER ME!!!” she says pulverizing them in the afterlife if necessary.

One of them waves a white flag.

The song restarts.

Ten other gay men join him.

Then hundreds.

Then they all do.

“BOW!!!” she commands them. Bow to Christ.

1:11

Lacey arranges the energies at the US Capital. Washington D. C..

The song restarts EVEN LOUDER.

The gay men try to bow to Jesus.

“This isn’t that bad.” one of them yells.

“DUH!!!” yells Lacey, drinking coffee.

One of them stands up and dances.

“This is a good song.” one of them says to Lacey.

The song plays.

Michael Rockefeller grabs a sword.

The song plays.

“JUMP!!!” Lacey yells, with most of dead Africa.

2:15

2:28

“Dawn…of…the…dead.” says Michael.

The song plays.

3:10

“Me!” says Edward Nesheim.

The song ends.

“I couldn’t fly worth shit!” says Joe Kennedy Junior.

The song restarts.

Jelly Roll Morton takes the song on. For God.

“He’s a genius.” says Lacey.

“I’m a little Jewish.” says Megan Markle.

“Yeah!” says Lacey.

The song plays.

The song restarts.

Putin nods on behalf of Jesus.

“House of PAIN.” says Princess Diana.

The song plays.

“IT IS…REAL.” says Lacey, holding a shotgun. She shoots into the sky. “I love shooting.” says Lacey.

“So did I!!” says Tom Banks, warmly. “She’s a great shot!!”

“It’s FUN!” says Lacey. She shoots a scarecrow.

Mary Ann Fetter joins her. “It is fun.” she says.

“I don’t get it.” admits a living gay man.

1:43

The song plays.

2:12

The song plays.

“I’m still alive! My head…didn’t BLEED ENOUGH.” says Lacey. “TO KILL ME.”

2:52

3:05

Africa laughs.

The song…restarts.

“IT IS NOT…OVER.” says Lacey. “IT…NEVER…ENDS.”

0:41

The song plays.

“She’s not a bitch. …You’re just wrong.” explains Egypt.

2:50

The song plays.

The song restarts.

A dead Wisconsin man laughs and dances. “FINE…MALT… LYRICS.”

A World War I veteran hangs on the wall in Lacey’s house. Clocked as being a ghost. In a ghost hunting show on YouTube. From Superior Wisconsin.

Jack Kennedy wasn’t truly lovable. He was narcissistic.

“Why doesn’t that make sense to you?” says F. Scott Fitzgerald to all non-straight people alive.

“I couldn’t love him. …It was…impossible to be in a real relationship with him. …For EVERYONE.” says Lem.

The song plays.

The song ends.

“I shouldn’t have died!!!” says Matt Nesheim. “BAD CALL!!”

The song restarts.

Joe Biden drools.

Kamala laughs, with her embarrassing lack of self-awareness or innate inability to sound intelligent when she laughs.

Rural Wisconsin dances.

The song is a Hoedown suddenly.

With Black beats.

And makeshift metal drums.

The song ends.

“WOOO!!!” yells a dead Millennial veteran in Wisconsin

The song restarts.

“Jump!!!” yells Lacey.

3:00

The song plays.

The song ends.

The song…RESTARTS.

“I’ll do this all fucking day…if I have to.” says Lacey.

“You guys are slow as fuck, really slow!” says a dead woman in Wisconsin to most living gay men.

“Lacey and Lem are my mom and dad…but your love with me…because I’m so sexy!!!” says Bobby Kennedy Junior from 1981 to the present. “THEY WANT ME!!! I SEXY!!!!”

He twerks. Like a retard from Hell.

2:22

“I’m the dawn of the dead!!! BE SCARED!!” says Bobby, entirely seriously.

Some gay men clap and join him, smiling.

“Why the fuck are you thinking he’s on your side!?!” says Lem. 

“Umm…” says an Illuminati psychic.

The song restarts.

Many gay men laugh arrogantly and join Bobby dancing. “Because he’s secretly liberal and he’s in love with me! I’m amazing!!!” they say, cocky and giggling.

They bump asses like a high five. In a sort of victory dance.

“This song is actually about me!!!!

I’m important, not you!!!

Wednesday I am 100% sure!

Lem was GAY!!!

I KNOW HE WAS!! I read that PEOPLE magazine AND DAILY MAIL!! Oh my God!!!” they say, sincerely. “And the brilliant minds of David Pitts and Sally B. SMITH…confirmed it for us on Wikipedia so it’s 100% SCIENCE!!!

The song restarts.

“Punky…back-up!!” they say desperately trying to dance.

Erin tries to look cute tap dancing with her insecure smile.

1:26

“I’ve got Satan! You ain’t got none!!!” Erin says to Lacey.

“YEAH!!!” yells Chris Hayes.

“So do you people care what’s actually going on in reality at all or not?” says Satan.

2:22

They stand still and think.

2:50

Lacey cuts off all of their heads.

She’s not playing.

The song restarts.

“Boom.” she says.

0:10

A horse dances.

“We’ll just die.” says Africa like a parent.

Lacey nods.

0:58

The song plays.

Lacey smacks Erin.

1:48

“Chris has a psychotic sense of superiority.” says Lem.

2:17

The Asmats dance.

2:44

“Come on!! GET A CLUE!!!” yells a woman in Wisconsin.

Erin looks dumb. And SO confused. “But I am really important movie-star now, okay!?”

The song restarts.

“I’m not an idiot Erin, that’s your delusion.” says a farmer in rural Wisconsin.

The song plays.

JFK twerked in 1965. Desperately trying to have an ass at all.

1:37

A dead gay man laughs at him. Lacey joins him. He cracks-up laughing so hard he falls forward.

But JFK can’t stop. He’s genuinely desperate. Or was.

2:34

The song plays.

“Why can’t they just listen to what she’s saying!?!” says a Satanist to Helena Bonham Carter.

The song ends and restarts.

“How do you not understand the concept? It’s so fucking simple.“ says Lem to all gay men.

“Explain it to me!” says Princess Kate.

“I’ve resorted to having to help them because I am so desperate!” says Satan, sincerely.

“Kate…you’ve watched all those trite films about the 1950s haven’t you??” says Lem.

“Yes.” she says.

“It’s just like that!” says Lem.

(Adult content)

“So you just pretended to be gay, masturbated, ate your way through your feelings, smoked and drank and then just waited to die…but still sincerely believed that you loved Jack, the same way that some women and some men think that they love their spouse in dead marriages. Kind of like Niles from Frasier in his first marriage?” says Princess Kate.

“That’s pretty much spot on yes and that’s what I have been telling people for the last 3 to 4 years but they don’t want to hear that.” says Lem.

“But-

Then there’s nothing for me.” says a gay man.

“Why do you feel you have a right!??” says God.

“Because then gay men are…just men.” says a gay man. He shrugs.

Princess Kate laughs at them.

“Did you think gay men were magic!?!?” says Vanessa Redgrave.

The song restarts.

They all stupidly nod yes.

“We thought gay men were gods. …And that women were…superhuman.” says a gay man.

“I ACTED gay.” says Lem. “I posed my whole face. …But it was FAKE.”

The song plays.

“He doesn’t really look gay.” says a woman in Wisconsin.

“I wasn’t.” says Lem. “My actual smile was awkward. Big…more awkwardly toothy. …I’m not…that…pretty. …But I was trying to look…gay.”

“I understand why.” says the woman in Wisconsin.

They think.

“Does that make you superior to us?” asks a common gay man of Lacey.

“YES!!!!” bellows Micheal Rockefeller. “YES!!!!”

They look sad.

Lacey looks confused.

“I don’t get it. What’s GOING ON WITH YOU?” she yells at them.

The woman on the farm in Wisconsin shrugs, in agreement with Lacey.

“They don’t have a farm.” says her husband to Lacey.

Lacey thinks.

“What planet are they living on?” she says to them.

“Lem me explain something! Our house is severely in need of repairs OK? …The Nesheim farm house has almost nobody living on it but everything is painted well the siding is in good shape the windows are new the roof has been replaced and the foundation is in good shape and no one‘s even living there. …They have thousands and thousands of acres of land and trillions in oil. I don’t have nearly as much. But cows are cows. Chickens are chickens, cats are cats, mice, are mice mud is mud. When it’s 40 below and you have to walk slowly so you don’t die on the ice that’s the same on their farm as it is on mine. When you get snowed in and you can’t go anywhere, it’s nice to have a nicer house to sit in but other than that, there’s no difference do you understand? There is no billionaire who could fix that situation completely because they would have to re-pave all the roads and hire someone to plow the roads indefinitely. Keep those people on retainer all year round. That’s very expensive nobody is that rich!!! so you have to realize that certain things can’t be changed. And then that’s for life is life poop is poop. Mud is mud cows are cows. Those are not things that we can alter.

Lacey understands that and so do I. I don’t understand how you people live in a world where you don’t get it.

And she needed our bread and our pie and our jam and there are some people who buy eggs from people and milk from people in our community and it has nothing to do with Bobby Kennedy Junior it’s because eggs are helpful to eat and good bread makes your day more pleasant it’s just does good bread is good bread and if you don’t know what I’m talking about I wonder if you’re even human.

I she knows all that and so do I. She was very grateful for the food that we provided her yesterday and she paid us for it but I know in her heart it meant more to her than just the money, so no matter how grand her family is or was it doesn’t matter and she knows that she knew that you people are the ones that don’t understand that anymore not her.” says the woman in Wisconsin.

“ oh, but she could like destroy you somehow?” says Bill Gates.

“ yeah, an image is important, but images meaningless if it isn’t grounded in reality. There’s no way America can run on just image if it’s not grounded in reality. And you people don’t seem to understand that there’s some thing called reality until you people can understand that concepts that you can’t just make stuff up. I don’t think that this country is going to do well because that’s what you’re at war with Lacey about reality, you’re at war over reality.

And part of that is because we’re in serious economic decline and we have trillions in debt that we don’t know how to pay off and so people and we are here and we are having road climate change problems and so a lot of people are not living in reality because it’s too scary to they don’t know how to live in reality anymore because they don’t have God And they’re not frankly as tough as Lacey and I are. And so they don’t want to live in the reality that the children that they’ve molested are human and that they’ve actually harm them and that those kids never wanted it ever. That actually is an old wives tale that children want that concocted by some evil hearted idiot from the gutter who had no idea what they were talking about that that actually is foolish peasant, talk. There are some people who are psychotic or deranged, or who actually could be freaks in someway who don’t understand that and then that’s where they needed help instead of carte blanche, because you needed to use their pocketbooks to the detriment of them and children and yourself. And if you keep choosing to live in denial of reality in that way that I’m sure that affects your thinking in other areas and I don’t think your people are living in reality. Image is not reality that’s so common sense and so when you people choose to accept that and deal with that Then we’ll we’ll talk and frankly that Hass to be right now because we don’t have a choice.” she says.

“ so how- do you feel intimidated by her?” says her neighbor.

“Lem Junior is my son Bobby Junior is not my son.” says Lem Billings just to explain. 

“ that is very true!” says Marc Price.

“ I yeah you guys think witchcraft is so clever, you know it is and it’s not.

And that’s about how I feel about Lacey. Yeah I’m impressed by her they drove up in an Audi. That’s from 2015 but just in very good shape. They bought a decent amount of goods but they also were driving around in a car and they needed a place to sleep and they have a house but they could not not sleep. They’re not super human and they needed our food.” she says.

Sean Connery laughs.

“ Lem I just don’t understand how you were OK with not having love and doing this act all the time!!” says a living man.

“Well because it was so common to think that way! There were many people and miserable marriages! I was not alone in that! and we had better music we had better food. Louis had better television we had better movies, and even though people have less entertainment, you were more used to that. So I read a lot. I had a huge playboy collection and I wasn’t as sexually frustrated as someone would be today. And I mean I knew that my life was suffering was suffering was going to be suffering. I was well aware of that but I just didn’t think that it was that serious OK because I had glasses and I had to use them if I didn’t use them, I could barely see And I had that my whole life I don’t think you understand I didn’t have contacts growing up. I had to always wear my glasses if I didn’t wear my glasses I couldn’t see OK and I was huge and I got cold because my parents didn’t have the money to buy warm clothes when winter answer my pants with thin, because I had to wear them all the time And I had asthma that wasn’t going away and they didn’t have the drugs to treat that the way that they do today so I suffered. They were many times when I had air hunger and there were many times when I was worried, I would die because that was a long time ago OK so I had a much lower expectation for my old life then you have for yours or most people have today I didn’t think that life is gonna be as easy as apparently you do and you don’t seem intellectual enough to ever realize that.

So my perception of things was that I would be gay because I was gay so it made my face look gay. I made my hair look gay to some degree and I tried to dress gay but that wasn’t a successful because I wasn’t really gay and I said actually know what I was doing so sometimes my pants were too short. Sometimes my pants were too tight, sometimes I would fix things about my pants because they wear out and I didn’t wanna buy new pants and they looked awful because I try to fix it myself. Sometimes I would wear clothes that were too old to wear and at times I did look kind of gay, but then my belly would be sticking out and all the wrong places, or are my parents would fit well in a way that would probably attract a woman because Lacey still thinks I’m attractive, but I’m not sure with a man with ink and women don’t look for the same thing so women will look at my clothes and I frankly would think, but what is she thinks? What do I look like with my clothes off, and then she thinks oh he looks pretty good. I think he’s attractive but the clothes themselves don’t fit the best but then that’s not what she focuses hon as a woman what she focuses on is how effective and a sense the clothes are so do I scare her do I seem warm? Do I seem to look appropriate and proper and I did I always look dignified and elegant and classy, but I did not always look what a man would consider sexy probably. I am so I wouldn’t say that I always dressed gay, but I try to fiddle with my hair to make my hair look good and that didn’t really work either and then I’m not sure I looked good to anybody at times but I was trying to look appealing to men, because I sincerely thought that I was gay and so I had it in my head that best case scenario I would find a man and be able to marry him in a sentence to be in love with him and I had it in my head that was possible because I really thought I was gay I thought I just haven’t found the right man yet.” says Lem.

“ we were not as hip and worldly and oppressive as your people think we were.” says a dead man.

“ I so I think that you guys get very hurt when your thoughts are criticized like you think you know everything and that’s sort of a sign of cultural decay.” says Oxford to the US.

“ he’s right it wasn’t quite as difficult to be homosexual as you people think it was.” says Jim Craft.

“ but Linn, why did you feel that was a wise decision isn’t that rather drastic and shocking!?” says a living gay man.

“ I know no he’s already explained all of this to you. I told him he was gay accidentally.” says Dr. Billings.

“ so he legitimately really was like scientifically confused as a teenager!?” says an actress.

“ yes, yes, he legitimately believed that he had a diagnosis of actual scientific homosexuality and he was trying his best to be OK with that because that’s how he was raised to think about things hearing that your homosexual or hearing that you have this problem or that problem and being in denial about. It is a very lower class and middle class response, people who are better bread don’t deny that sort of thing generally speaking, that’s not a well bred and intelligent way of handling anything which is where a lot of women’s rights movements came from. That’s where frankly the hippies came from. It was all upper class people who were educated and understood, the state of humanity in the past and the elite we’re not so backward and trashy as they are today to be to be blunt even in America and so in the past people would’ve known that if you had a diagnosis you couldn’t live in denial of it you had to except it!” says FDR. “ I understood that my wife was a lesbian, but I also knew she was attracted to me and I didn’t see any problem with her people did not always hundred percent except things but I didn’t know that was who she was and she was actually somewhat bisexual, but um, people were very careful about assuming things of people so in the past, which is what Lacey was expecting a flat years ago in the past, but I thought well, maybe lime is still attracted to women maybe he was was maybe he maybe he was actually him maybe he was actually very complicated sexually because everyone was complicated and we understood that. And so that’s what she was expecting as your intellectual response because she took you seriously when you said you were intellectuals, and so she was expecting for you to be confused, but not to just totally discredit her and assume that she was completely full of it. I don’t understand the way you people think and neither does she because frankly were to aristocratic to understand you.

She has lost patience and is now speaking into her phone because this is going on so long and it’s extremely frustrating and I I don’t disagree with her but you have to understand is that you’re determined to make him gay not just bisexual not just pansexual that 100% in love with Jack and gay. Those are your terms of compromise which is Ludacris intellectually your intellectually bankrupt.

No, we have proven and he was actually straight. He wasn’t even bisexual, but we could’ve proven he was bisexual. If he was bisexual the reality is that he was actually a heterosexual OK and yes, he acted gay. And yes he got confused and yes, it was very convincing, but it’s not quite that astounding and it’s people who are backward like Bobby and Bob Saget, and Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Kennedys who you think are intellectual and elite who are the problem. They’re not really genuinely intellectual.

The problem is, I am an intellectual, so is my wife and so is Lacey so is Michael Lem’s was straight and there’s no way he was in love with Jack. That’s your delusion. And if that’s if that was painful for Jack, he needed to deal with that with God instead of bringing the entire fucking world in!

And the truth is, he didn’t really love them that much he really didn’t. He didn’t even love Lem hardly at all. He didn’t love Lem. He loved Lem. Which means that he loved parts of him, but not really him. And he likes it parts of his body. He liked parts of his personality and he wanted him to madly in love with him because Jack had a need to be loved in a way that’s not really healthy or possible. it’s not unconditional love unconditional love is based on a relationship like with Lacey and Lem’s have we’re both people have committed and excepted that they love each other and they’re working on something together what Jack wanted with him was a slave. He wanted a slave, who is free, and madly in love with him. And he wanted it to be loved because life is better than most people and it would hurt people who he thinks are better than him and actually are like Lacey. So it would hurt people like Lacey, who he really wants to hurt because he is inferior to her and then it would make him feel loved and he wanted parts of them, but they there was no great love for him from Jack. He didn’t really want Lem! That’s your delusion!” says FDR.

“ so there was no love between them?” says a reader.

“ oh no lame try to love Jack as fast as he could but he was straight when he was very uncomfortable and grossed out by homosexuality in reality. And he tried, but he just couldn’t really enjoy himself because it’s just not something he was capable of or is. I Jack enjoyed himself, but he wouldn’t have been able to as easily. If Glenn actually had been gay do you understand because then that would’ve created an actual relationship and then that would’ve made Jack angry, because Jack didn’t like real intimacy with people because he was a narcissist. Jack Kennedy did not have a narcissistic side. He was a clinical narcissist, which is different than just having a narcissistic side, or having a narcissist in him. He was a narcissist as a medical diagnosis he was an actual, narcissist. Jack Kennedy was also a bisexual as a medical diagnosis. Lum’s diagnosis was incorrect, but he lived with it for almost his entire life. Jack lived in denial of his actual diagnosis.” says a dead Wisconsin doctor.

“ so what is Lem ever obsessed with Bobby?” says NBC.

“ no!” says God. “ no he was not obsessed with Bobby!”

“ so he was never attracted to Bobby?” says a man.

“ I know people have missing or misunderstood him. Lambs obsession was not a sexual obsession. It was not really even obsession. Lem’s is very complicated, psychologically and people use those words way to loosely. Some people are capable of being very intensely focused on some thing, but it’s not an obsession. Lamb was capable of being hyper focused on things at times but it was not an obsession and that’s the easiest way Lacey can hear talk to text Splaine it. It looks like obsession maybe to some people, but that was not the case at all, he was not genuinely obsessed You could say he was obsessed with a lot of things though.

He was obsessed with alcohol. He was obsessed with heroin. He was obsessed with antiques. He was obsessed with certain television shows. He was obsessed with a lot of things, and he didn’t love all of them.

Some people do tease people in a loving way, but there are some people, especially Aries and Casi is one of them who do actually make fun of people by teasing them. Some Aries can be very passive, aggressive with her friendliness, and Casi is one of them and so was Lem. And Lacey caught onto it very quick with Casi and it’s actually quite obvious that she’s being sarcastic at times with her compliments to people and her friendliness and hurt ambulance. Her jubilance her bubbling us. It’s it’s fake and a lot of Aries are like that they seem amazingly blunt or amazingly Boldt but it’s bullshit that maybe sometimes they say otherwise but there’s a bit of bullshit involved. and Lacey sees that instantly, and it really is obvious their bold, but they can also be very awkward people. People get scared of them because they’re so Boldt but they’re actually also very awkward people like a bull in a china shop? Cassie was an incredibly awkward person and still is and so is Lem. But they’re also gifted with a sort of intuitive ability to understand the intensity of things at times and that’s part of the reason why they do that but it’s not normal.

It’s not that there’s nothing to astrology it’s that it’s a dangerous thing.

Virgos, and Lacey is one, should not be questioned too much because it’s aggravating to them. They’re very similar to an INTJ in a way. they don’t mind getting into intellectual conversations, but they’re very sincere about it and you have to be respectful of them because when they say stuff usually they take it quite seriously. There’s no flaw in thinking that he acted gay and that that’s just what happened. There’s nothing intellectually even remotely to an end fantastically tiny degree off about it it’s perfect and she knows that and she’s knowing that but she’s also a ditz and you demand that he could possibly have done that for reasons that you never explain. You just expect her to know, but she can’t know because she’s smarter than you, possibly and far more intellectual and more understanding of history even queer history, then some queer historians who are intellectually dishonest. It was difficult to be homosexual, but not quite to the degree of magnetism that you demand existed because you need to fill better than people in the past or something OK? genuinely thought he was homosexual so he was able to act that way completely safely and sincerely because he thought that was who he was and it was very painful for him when he acted homosexual it was not a fun thing for him. He did it out of his sense of righteousness and honor and I think because he was romantic and very deep that at times and I know whether not this is true but I’m speaking through a woman I am I think at times he probably enjoyed being able to just be distant because he was suicidal, his father had died. They lost their fortune. They were very troubled people in a way when he was molested, and so he felt some relief that he could hide behind this video of homosexuality and sort of distance himself, and isolate himself from other people in the sort of the sort of pleasant way, because he didn’t have to be himself he could be very fake all of the time to some degree because everyone thought he was probably gay and he wasn’t and so he could hide himself in that and so all of his pain and all of his insecurity and all of his actual emotion was hidden behind that, and yes it is similar to his drug use. He liked hiding behind things because he was very very much and torment him so he liked hiding behind the façade of fake homosexuality to an extent it was also very lonely at times and at times he was just himself and it was occasionally mostly caught on camera who are those pictures are not analyzed people don’t look at them people don’t except with her seeing him that was a time to focus on or the pictures or he looks gay because he’s acting gay the one where he’s bending, for it actually looks heterosexual, but that’s because he was so focused on what he was doing physically that he couldn’t think about how he actually was acting, and in all honesty happened in other pictures to, but people don’t see that because they choose not to.

You’ve questioned her far too much to the point of violent perversity.

And you never wanna hear her very astute, intellectual explanations that come from ghosts and me.

Again, there’s no point that you have at all!!!

You just keep regurgitating the same bullshit!

I look you rely on secondhand information that is entirely subjective. You don’t have actual evidence! And the evidence that you could produce of him, saying things, if he even did, would be very suspect. When someone says I misunderstood myself, I thought I was some thing and I wasn’t that means that they may have said things that were incorrect about themselves while they were alive and that’s what he’s told you.

I don’t know that you even have any evidence, but if you did, it wouldn’t really mean anything. Because he didn’t understand that he was heterosexual. And he didn’t give two shits about that little boy, because he thought he was a monster. And that little boy was not a little boy. He was a half grown man. He was never hurt by Jack, hardly at all. I know when he says I love Jack, my whole life he wasn’t even meeting, romantic love, but if he didn’t mean that he didn’t mean it, you have him in your head saying in this very certain way, but then that would make him a very different person than who existed. And that gay man that you keep envisioning in your head, saying it doesn’t really exist. And Lacey has never been able to quite figure out how to explain that to you or herself because you’re keeping arresting her in part. She is not wrong, but you don’t wanna hear that because then you feel inferior to her.

He didn’t say it the way that you want him to say it he didn’t say I’ve been in love with Jack, my whole life wow I’m gay that’s not what he was saying and he didn’t even say it in that way. He said it in a very straight way. And his voice sounded straight and his mannerisms sounded straight, but what he was saying, sounded homosexual, especially in written word. That’s not how he said it!

Bobby and the Kennedys want to live in a world where he was in love with Jack and he was gay. He could’ve even said it in a homosexual way and been bisexual but they can’t except that either.

People have tried to explain that he could’ve been bisexual, but given to Jack’s behavior, they’re definitely wouldn’t be an eternal bond between them or even a real relationship but they don’t wanna hear that either.

He said it in a way where it was more like this is my clinical diagnosis of my life. I diagnose myself as homosexual. … and based on that perfect diagnosis because I am right about most things I would tell you that I was in love with him, my whole life and he put his whole integrity behind that statement, for the most part. So it was like oh I hundred percent guarantee you that I was in love with Jack I can verify it I can qualify it I can quantify it it’s absolutely certain. But that’s not a thing really possibly in any circumstance. People don’t talk about love in that way! That was more how he said it though. He could’ve even said it in a gay, passionate way, and not really have meant it, and just have been confused about himself and his own emotions in that moment, but that’s not how he said it. And he said it in a way that he would say it, and it was said in a very clinical objective non-romantic way.

He was just wrong. He had no idea what he was talking about. His whole life he had thought that he was homosexual, and he wasn’t according to him. He was also meeting his whole life in the sense that he included his teenage years as his childhood. He could’ve mentioned this gushing romantic. I have love Jack, my whole life, kind of way like they were soulmates, but that’s not actually how he said it. And there’s something off about thinking that he meant it that way. That’s not his personality. He’s far more pedantic than that! And he was including his teenagers as part of his life he was making a very clinical statement. I’ve loved Jack, my whole life edits a grand statement. and it sounded possessive, but it wasn’t! you’re reading things into it more than she is believe it or not. He was not in love with Jack that’s not even clinically possible. He might have thought that he was, but he wasn’t really capable of that given how Jack treated him. So he could’ve said something like that as a bisexual or a gay man, and not have known what he was even talking about!! But that’s not even what happened he was saying in a way that was frankly self aggrandizing. Why don’t you ever want to see it that way!?

What he was doing was bragging. He was bragging! He was proud of the fact that he had known Jack, his whole life! Because Jack was famous. And he was essentially bragging and saying, I’ve known Jack, my whole life. I’ve loved Jack, my whole life. I’m kind of important. I’m kind of a big deal because of my association with him. And he was bragging. Because he felt very important because of his association with Jack.

he wouldn’t have even been meaning it in a homosexual way, necessarily at all, he was never open about that.

But I know that he was not meeting it in a possessive or romantic, and any sort of real way way. He meant it to break. He meant it to show off and he felt is though it was true and there was an ounce of homosexual love in that in a closeted sense, but it was open the friendship that he was talking about. And that actually was a very strange thing to say, which is why you make it sound romantic because if you have to be honest about how he actually would have said it, which is closeted and friendship, you make it sound, non-sexual and non-romantic, and how you say it in your head. Which is how he said, it!!! And so then when he started that way, it’s strange if he actually was homosexual at all that he would say such a thing. Because in order to see it, you have to sound like you’re talking about a friend. Otherwise people are going to know that you’re coming out of the closet and talking about a homosexual relationship. If you said it in a way, like you were in love with him, people might know that you were saying you were in love with him and Lem was not lacking self-awareness to that degree. He was not a hick, and he was not a stupid narcissist.

And so when he said it, he said it as though they were friends, which means that there wasn’t anything sexual or romantic about the way he said it openly at all. Which would mean that he was saying it in a way that sounded like friendship completely. Which means that he said, I was in love with him, my whole life in a way that desexualizes it and takes away from any sort of love that he could’ve actually had. which is a very strange thing to do if you’re at all homosexual. It’s actually something that you wouldn’t say if you were in love with him, unless if you were choosing to come out of the closet. And he never did!!! so in reality, he actually gave evidence by saying that to the opposite, he proved in a sense that he was heterosexual and confused. And because how could you hide a genuine romance with in such a desexualized cold thought? You couldn’t, and so what he may have accidentally said if he did accidentally speak to the relationship being sexual at all and someone intuitively picked up on it was not that they were in love, but that he thought they were if he said anything at all.” says God.

“ what kind of love did he think they had?” says a gay man.

“ i’ll make up a fake scenario and then we need to stop talking for a bit. Imagine that there’s a man named Henry and a woman named Grace. Grace is bisexual, and she is actually in love with her sister-in-law Pat. Pat is also bisexual. Grace and Henry have a very sexless cold marriage. They sleep together occasionally, and they produce two children. Those two children are very loved and relatively happy, but they know their parents probably aren’t in love. They can tell that their parents are content people it’s the 1950s they’re well-off they have a sizable nice house that’s always neat and Henry is a lawyer and grace is from a wealthy family and they inherited decent amount of money and they are what to do would be considered very wealthy because to live their lifestyle you’d probably have to be making about $1 million a year in the US. they live in a very nice community. They have a beach side cottage in California up north they live just outside of Los Angeles in a 3000 square-foot house on 40 acres of land and Grace would probably have had to inherit about 20 to $30,000,000 at least. But in their day and age, they were considered middle class. I am, and so Henry is a very lonely man, but he collects playboy in a very secret compartment of his basement that nobody is allowed in. He goes to the VFW and chats up women, but he never goes home with them. He just has conversations that with them that are way too personal him. He has a crush on his neighbor who is a woman and he he imagines being in love with her, but he never does anything. He doesn’t cheat in any physical way, and he tries to be as decent as possible. He’s dead inside he’s overweight like Lem’s. He’s a little sloppy like Lem, he collects, playboy, and in his heart, he’s not faithful. and there are a lot of men who live like that. I don’t know why people are pretending otherwise.

And if he were to be asked about his wife at the wrong moment after her death, if she died, prematurely, and telling her to say to him, what did you think of Grace what kind of impact did Grace make on her life? What would he say?

‘ Grace was a very dear woman! Grace was my best friend! We met in kindergarten! Grace was the first gal I ever kissed!

I’ve loved Grace my whole life! And she was a real swell woman!’” says God. “ why would lemon say such a passionate thing? Let’s try again! Henry could also say, ‘ Grace had really good tits! I mean they were down here!!! And when I first laid my hands on those puppies, when she was 22 I went to Heaven!’ …Now you know that she is in love with her sister-in-law, you know that they don’t sleep together, but he’s bragging to his friends. So why did Lem’s choose to say somethings so passionate well, I think of another circumstance. ’ I would’ve died for Grace! She was one of the most decent women I’ve ever met in my life!’ And why does he say that because he’s paying homage to her and he’s honoring her! Why did Lem sound so passionate? Because he was bragging and he was trying to honor Jack.  and people say stuff like that edit doesn’t mean that they’re madly in love, and the way he would’ve had to say it would actually mean the opposite.” says God. “ there is a demon of stubborn stupidity that attacks Lacey, because of the people who are attacking her in their spirit. He was not saying it in a romantic way. We’ve already proven that. and given the way that he said it, and how he said it, he meant it in a way that was honoring him and bragging. 

It just wasn’t said with passion. At all. And that’s entirely possible to say. And that’s how he said it.” says God. “There was no coming out of the closet in how he said it. At all. None. And it wasn’t even a passionate statement of friendship. …It was said clinically.

And by the way…be careful. Lem has tried to show Lacey his apartment. …And they did spend a considerable amount of time apart in college. She misheard…but not completely.” says God. “She almost never mishears me completely. …As shocking as it is…Lem was straight.”

Later.

“So it’s not possible for Lem to have been so happy at Jack’s wedding and not look sad enough in the right way?” asks the CIA.

“No.” says Russia. “No.”

“So it’s certain that Lem was straight?” says a reader.

“Yes.” says God.

“So then he couldn’t have felt what they say he felt for sure?” says a reader.

“Absolutely.” says God. “It’s unfortunately all nonsense.”

“Did you sext Jack?” says Olivia Nuzzi to Lem.

“NO. …There’s a huge difference. …We did discuss sex. …But letters are longer than texts. And the energy dies. Think about it! …You can’t create that much sexual frustration mutually. …Jack was very sexual. …But I was not in any sincere way. He just went on and on and on. …I did not. Because I was never that interested in sex with him even out of curiosity. I just had no real desire at all. …So it was actually very one-sided on his part actually, not mine. …So even if I did comment sexually…it wasn’t…meaningful. And I genuinely can explain anything I ever said. Or did. Because the reality of the situation is that I was heterosexual.” says Lem.

“Oops Again”

“Lacey…what did you expect?” says Lem.

“To be helpful to them.” says Lacey.

“They were never going to like that. …They found you attractive. But they weren’t planning to ever tell you that.” says Lem.

“Then what was the point!?” says Lacey.

“Men in our generation weren’t like that. They’d have flirted with you more clearly. …Guys…in your generation hung out. Men in our generation flirted. …So…you’d have understood that they found you attractive but you just weren’t what they were looking for long-term.” says Lem.

Lacey thinks.

“What the hell was the point of life in this fallen world?” says Lacey to God and Lem. “You redeemed it!? WHEN!?”

“What’s your criticism!?” says God to Lacey.

“How are people supposed to find anyone to love!?” says Lacey.

“It didn’t used to be quite this impossible.” says God.

“What was I supposed to do!?!!?” says Lacey.

“So…basically you just weren’t popular enough. They didn’t think you were socially acceptable.” says God. “You were actually better looking than almost any woman alive. And still are. And your background was stellar. But you were raised by people who didn’t care if you were popular, so to speak. And…your peers felt envy of you and disdain. At the same time. You were very pretty but not lovable. Because…you’re very smart. People who are intimidated by your beauty were scared of your intelligence. Especially with your personality. Very few people feel like they can relax around you. Elizabeth would. And

does. But she’s rare. So does Margaret. You’d have adored being their friend. Had you been born earlier. They’d have let you be yourself. You’d have been quiet…but…had fun. And you’d have been very loyal to them both.

They expected Princess Diana to be like you. But you’re very different women…even if you’re similar in some noticeable ways that people use as guideposts when analyzing people. …You would have been their confidant and true loyal pal. Always Godly. Always ready to assume a place behind, happily. Philip and you would have been actual platonic friends, which is rare. But you’d both have managed it. And at times been harsh with each other but out of a sense of duty. No one would have ever thought you were anything but straight. As that’s what you are. …And sadly there’s a gaping lack of heterosexual role models from the past like you. It’s…disgusting. You’re very unique. Tom…if he could have had you…really messed-up. And he could have. Elliott Roosevelt is very angry though at me. He holds me responsible and I understand that. It was Tom’s responsibility, however. And I respect his concern for his children that prevented him from bringing them into this world but…I needed them.

Tom…your father…was determined to save his children from pain…by never creating them in the first place. …And Lem was so sure he was gay. *God laughs* Neither of them were at all correct. …Tom is a great father. He’s earnestly patented you from the grave. As much as he could. And it’s been miserable for him. But he’s a very good dad. It’s very natural to him. …And yes…had you been born earlier you’d have met Queen Elizabeth II on numerous occasions.” says God.

“Where!??” says King Charles III.

“At a party. In her early teens. In a country estate owned by an Earl. In England. In the 1939’s. Her father would have been friends with the Earl. He’s was a very charming man. From a wealthy family. He’d have been more socially mindful if he’d had a daughter. And Lacey and Elizabeth would have just instantly been great friends. Elizabeth would have been intrigued by Lacey’s wild, Hollywood parents. Lacey would have seemed glamorous. And Lacey, being herself, would have been far more like a young British aristocrat than a Hollywood type. So…they’d have felt very at ease. Philip would have noted Lacey’s…’mild temperament’ for an American. But it would have never been an issue for them.” says God.

Later.

“Lem was not a gay man. …I didn’t create him to be a gay man. And he had no part of him that was like that.” says God. “He looks gay. But that’s not his real personality. He hid his real self from view after he was molested and after his father died. His mother should have been a stronger woman. She let him ruin his life. And she’s taken the blame for it. Her children hold her responsible. Especially her daughter.” says God.

Later.

“They were nasty.” says Lacey to God and Lem.

She just bought a vintage light fixture from an antique store.

“You seemed difficult. Because Mark was being difficult and they instantly took his side. And LOVED judging you. Because you’re vastly better looking than they were. And Mark seems far more relatable.” says God. “The woman stood around watching your parenting. Literally peering down her nose at you. And you were doing fine. …They also aren’t the nicest people. Letting that big dog run around and scare people is a dangerous thing to do…but they’re careless.”

“See…what THE FUCK do people want from me!??” says Lacey. “Growing-up I was too poor. And unpopular. Now I’m prissy and I relatable!?”

“And your twin flame was widely identified officially as a homosexual. I’ll call him your twin flame, even though we know that’s not the way I label it.” says God.

Lacey smirks.

“He wasn’t gay.

You know that…so why do you keep going back to thinking he was gay?” says God.

“Because I just assume I don’t really know. …I’ve been hurt too many times.” says Lacey.

“Devastated. Not just hurt.” says God. “But I created you to be more insightful and aware than most people. And you are. You’re rarely ever wrong. You’re exceptionally good at figuring out EVERYTHING. You’re an unusually analytical person. You’re a foreign policy expert wit a college degree. Because you’ve sat around pondering it your whole life almost. Just because you LOVE it. …People think you’re JFK because of Lem but also because they want to make sense of your intelligence because they’re not used to seeing women who are so naturally feminine being so unusually intelligent in regard to that subject. But you’re actually smarter than him in that way. And he struggled to comprehend what you think is…painfully obvious. Lem was a much smarter man than people thought. And yes, as convincingly gay as he acted…he was heterosexual.

The Kennedys can’t handle it. It has them on the wrong side of history. And they pride themselves on never getting that wrong. That’s their brand. …Being wrong about science isn’t uncommon for them. Joe Senior barely understood foreign policy at all. Bobby Junior is dangerous. Joe Junior barely made it as a pilot. Lem’s complex psychology baffles them. …He believed he was gay even though he wasn’t. And his act…was…not an act to them. They don’t even really understand the concept. The dichotomy between his persona and him. They desperately want to believe nobody fools people the way they do. Because then they just felt and feel like cheap clowns from the Irish gutter. And they’re more sure the Irish are worthless than you’ve ever been. They hate themselves, secretly. So…thinking that Lem fooled them…BY ACCIDENT…is…excruciatingly painful. For all of them! …Actually…hearing it from Lacey is A LOT easier than it would be from most people. And they haven’t yet realized that. But her father’s bootlegging made it less nasty. So does her admiration of them. As does her innate humility that people don’t want to acknowledge at the moment.

Lem…was…very confused. And…they just can’t handle it.” says God. “He never really did anything that clearly showed he was gay though. …People can fake being attracted to people. …And he was never really jealous nor hurt almost ever by Jack. People have talked about his jealousy as if it’s memorable, but it wasn’t. There were no big jealous scenes. No heartbroken letters. No phone calls. No suicidal thoughts. Lem didn’t CARE AT ALL. He promoted Jack’s interest in other people. He didn’t care. He really don’t care. I’m GOD. I know. …But…they can’t handle that. They’d argue violently against it. Because it’s unthinkable to them. That a man would ever make that mistake is…unimaginable to them. And there are many people who think like that. Because the Gay Rights community has been very vocal about the idea that gay people never choose to be gay. Nobody wants to be gay. Nobody would ever choose to be gay. And that’s simply not true. Most people wouldn’t choose to be gay, but it’s far from true that nobody would. There are many people who would. …They were stubbornly evil about him and they’ve ruined Lacey’s life that was already in perilous danger of being ruined. She had no choice in the matter either. Absolutely none. Lacey you’ve had no way out. You’ve done almost everything you could.

The thing is…if they were serious about you being able to be happy and that’s why you feel a pushback from them…they’d have celebrated and heavily encouraged you to be with someone else. Like Louis. Or Joel, who’s alive. Or MANY other men. …That would have been in their best interest. But they have never been able to let you be happy with anyone. You’ve been spiritually attacked by them your whole life, unbeknownst to you. And there was nothing you could do. I know you can hardly believe that…but it’s the truth. They never gave you a moment of peace.

And why was that? Because you don’t matter to them and they’re incredibly spoiled people. Lacey your existence isn’t human to them. They see your whole existence as a minor inconvenience to them. Because they all had such a psychotically high opinion of themselves that they saw you as nothing compared to them. So throwing your whole being into a living Hell seemed obvious to them, the obvious answer to what they perceived as a slight made by Heaven when they found out they weren’t me after they died. Humans aren’t important to them. They feel they are the meaning of everything. And they didn’t love Lem that much even but they did love him and they can’t believe they’d ever be mistaken or fooled or taken in by anyone or anything, even Satan except for maybe me because I tell them the truth.

Listen…I know that to you that means Purgatory. And you have a hard time believing that Purgatory exists. But that’s okay.

They don’t and didn’t even want Lem to be theirs, really. They just wanted to ruin your life…send you to Hell…and keep Lem sort of and make him truly homosexual. They had no concern whatsoever for his happiness. He’s a plaything-slave to them with no existence of his own outside of a programmable robot. They are extremely perverse people. You being his lover for eternity was crime against them, they felt. An absolute crime! *God laughs at them* How dare I!?! How dare I make a man they could slightly love who had feelings and needs of his own!?! They’re foul creatures of Hell, worthless to anyone including themselves, by choice. Damned beings who may not exist for the rest of eternity if they can’t respect the humanity of anyone but themselves. It’s extremely rare that I make people cease to exist. And I hope to bring them all back.

And what’s worse is that nobody is likely to have much sympathy for you Lacey about Lem. Because explaining it to people makes you sound uppity and vain. And possibly insane. …People don’t care that your mother who raised you is a relative of Lem’s. Nor that your father Tom could easily have introduced you to him. Nor that you’re more suited for him than Jack was ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. …People imagine them as soulmates for silly, shallow reasons. They like to sugarcoat history to enjoy their own lives rather than let it be as ugly as complex as it is. So Zelda and Scott are perfect for each other to an epic level of intimacy. And Harold Loeb is a weird fool. And your dad is a violent, hoodlum freak from the poorhouse. None of those things are real. But it’s easier to think history is that simple and clean. No mistakes, no real mysteries. No deeply hurt feelings that we can’t mend because people are dead.

Lem was never hurt enough by Jack to be remotely attracted to men in any real way at all. He just wasn’t. …And Tom Banks was and is your real father. And those two facts…are the explanation for a great many ugly things.

If I allow your whole family to die…you’ll all be with me. Heaven is real. It’s not a myth. I conquered death. …The Resurrection isn’t the same thing as Heaven, and people don’t just die and temporarily cease to exist. Death feels more real than life for a Christian. And that’s why…the Kennedys…are and were so very angry. Because you’re going to be happy with Lem forever. And you’ll make him incredibly happy as you already do to some extent. But then what!? Where’s their reward? …They couldn’t accept that they simply made e or mistakes with their lives. …Treating him as a slave, embarrassingly forcing him to give oral sex and anal sex and make-out. Believing he was obsessed with them. Counting on his enduring worship. Only to find out he was secretly trying to kill the kids…hated them, especially Jack, and was genuinely heterosexual and smarter than them the whole time. That’s reality. And they couldn’t handle it.

I don’t force people to be happy because that’s not real happiness. If people don’t want to accept Heaven they don’t have to. Almost everyone wants to. And very rarely do people reject it with time. But there are exceptionally rare cases and unfortunately their extreme wealth and the extreme wealth and privilege of the US at time and their rare fame combined with their extreme evil in certain respects…created one of those highly unusable situations. People assume being extremely wealthy is a blessing…but when there’s poverty in the hearts of the rich and people are still poor elsewhere…it’s often a dangerous eternal position. And I recognize that and am compassionate. But I don’t control people. So when they chose, if they did, to reject humility and abandon my love for the advice of Satan who offered them revenge they took it. He offered to attack you…ruin several other people’s lives…damage hundreds more…and force Lem to be homosexual for real…and be happy about it. And…to restore their former glory. Possibly through one their immediate offspring or their grandchildren. He gave them a sense of urgent superiority over everyone.

Lem did try to break up Bobby’s relationships with women who he felt were likely to get hurt by him. He used excuses. And catered to their egos. But again, they can’t see that. And that’s where if I do let your family die…I want it to be clear that I’m doing that because of Bobby, should there an Illuminati. Specifically Bobby Kennedy Junior. He’s a murderer. And it’s GROSS how many people are fooled by him. Should there be an Illuminati they’re impotent fools who can’t handle their responsibilities to the world, to history and to themselves…and if I let you die…they can directly hold him responsible. Lem was trying to kill him for a reason and it’s no accident I may have to let Lem’s family die all at once…due to Bobby’s evil heart. But I will not let you all die piecemeal, if possible.

There’s nothing Satan can do to you once you’re dead. And Satan knows that. And that’s a main reason why I’ve struggled to let you die. He’s resorted to helping Heavenly angels out of fear of my impending wrath. He’s extremely scared of me in regard to you right now and will be until you and your descendants are all dead.

Suffice to say…you’re often right. You rarely analyze things incorrectly. You seem to have forgotten that, Lacey.” says God. “Or it’s been brainwashed out of you.”

Later.

“Why didn’t Jack ever seem to understand that you weren’t going to date women if you talked with him?” asks Bobby.

“We talked several times over the years. Once when we first started our friendship and once later that same year. Once at Princeton and once after World War II. And we frequently visited the topic a in the years after was married. …Why didn’t he ever seem to understand? Because he refused to. It’s as simple as that.

I’d tell him he was in the wrong, given my convictions, to date women. Because I felt that all men who were attracted to men should be with only men. And I felt there was no excuse for him to be with women at all. But…he insisted otherwise and also insisted he was really attracted to men like I was anyway. Of course…he wasn’t interested in my story about being abused because he felt that was different. I was attacked by an older man. He was merely a sexually adventurous man who was trying out a new way to be sexually satisfied. An older man was more serious because he likely knew what a real homosexual looked like, i.e. me. And…he felt I seemed gay, whereas he simply, again, was adventurous. I wasn’t gay to him? No. He hoped I was. He just refused to accept my explanation because a. He was in denial about his desires for men. and b. He found it fun to mock me and ask me questions about it because he loved playing dumb and feeling like he was really loved when I’d be his slave instead of leaving him, as he also knew I wanted to. I’ve explained this many times before.” says Lem.

Weird silence.

“What did he think homosexuality was?” asks a woman.

“A type of person. …He didn’t understand orientations, as a concept. He felt that homosexuality was a sort of weirdo doomed from birth to innate inferiority. And he simply couldn’t possibly be inferior! So…of course he wasn’t gay. OF COURSE! …He was straight AS AN ARROW. Wow! …But I wasn’t him. So I was allowed to be gay and of course MADLY in love with ONLY HIM…FOREVER!!!” Lem laughs. “And I STILL have to be or Bobby has a prissy little conniption fit and Caroline gets whiny and mad. And Joe assumes he’s Lord Kennedy, and he’s MOST…offended.”

“So YOU were the CLEAR homosexual? Because Jack couldn’t possibly be!!!” says a gay man.

“YES! …I could be. Because I had asthma and glasses. And I was annoying taller. …So if I was gay…my height lost to my asthma and yet…he could still lust after me safely without it being noticeable, he felt. He flirted…but he assumed it was never to be taken seriously. It was purely for his own benefit. Because if I had taken it seriously…he’d have lost his mind. Probably tried to kill me. …People have been SO bullshit. …So…I was expected to just smile and nod like an idiot essentially in response to him luridly ogling me and demanding oral sex on demand whenever he wanted. He was an absolute snake and total loser. He got to violently attack me psychologically with sexual assault every damn day. Getting high as a kite on my defilement as a man. Preening glee at his harassment of me and my uncomfortable grins. He knew I was uncomfortable but that was his choice. I was a real faggot and his lynching of me…was ALLOWED…because he was STRAIGHT. …He was willfully ignorant about why I chose to be with men. He brought it up to attack me. Call me a NIGGER! Like, ‘When are you gonna be a real man, BOY!?’ His sick laugh accompanying him. He was allowed to get off on me…because he was SPECIAL. And I was…only threatening to him in an imaginary world where he was sure nothing existed. Well…not really. He feared it did. But…he was determined to convince himself it didn’t.

Did he know I was straight? Yes. In part. But that’s where it was willful ignorance. Because I suppose he knew in a way why. …But he raped women and he enjoyed the thought of forcing himself on someone who didn’t want it anymore. Who made the mistake of thinking he was something else or they were quite different than they expected themselves to be.

What did he tell himself when I seemed disinterested? That he was the one who was being targeted somehow. That he was playing along to be nice and to be shrewd. …But I was just…being a real bitch. So…he’d put up with me…and I’d put up with him. All was fair! He was like many bisexual men. They want to have the best of homosexuality and the best of heterosexuality at the same time. And even though I was straight…I experienced the same feelings that many gay men have experienced in similar situations. …Listen…I was trapped…and I was also sure I was gay. …So…when I wasn’t interested…I just felt…like a loser or I felt Jack was…heartless and cruel. Why? Because he didn’t care about my feelings at all or how personal the whole thing was.

I don’t think you understand how HE posed us for sexual photos. HE did. And oftentimes he’d also write letters where I was given personality traits OF HIS. …He had a dirty mind. HE was too personal. I’ve never raped anyone. But he often did.

How did I cope with it? …I didn’t understand what was going on. I didn’t know I was really being attacked. I thought it was…exciting to hear about girls. Because I was sexually attracted to women. And yet thinking I was gay I didn’t have a chance to enjoy them. That’s why I read Playboy. I learned to enjoy hearing the stories of other men. …Not that I necessarily wanted those women…but I liked the thought of someone being able to enjoy that. Because I felt…close to being able to with someone myself almost then.

I was straight. I’m sorry.” says Lem.