Keen to Cross the Pond

“Alright.

The Nesheims and the Seays.

The Nesheims are a combination of 18th Century upper class silversmiths. Truly. Top of the line for Scandinavia at that time. And professors, tutors and farmers. Semi-peasant farmers maybe? Maybe not. But otherwise all upper class or upper middle class.

The Seays are 12th Century…soldiers in Great Britain. And American Revolutionary War heroes. Who lost their wealth in the Civil War. And became poor. …But worked their way out.

The Crafts are…lower class to middle. All very intelligent. And in America all prosperous and wealthy and prestigious with time. Millionaires. Etc. Knighted author included.

And that’s it.

My parents who raised me were rebellious and really messed-up. So…they have retirement from their family. But they never saved for it. …They hated debt. But they didn’t like saving. Not really.

Tom’s family is more clearly old money. And I relate to them more. His parents owned a general store. The first one in Lexington Nebraska. …My aunt owned a prestigious clothing store in Long Beach, Cali. Etc..” says Lacey.

“She sold Chanel and Schiaparelli both!” says Mlle. Chanel.

“ Lacey doesn’t quite understand.

When Mlle. Chanel talks to her, she talks to her like a beautiful French fairy kind of like Tinker Bell. It’s very lovely.

when she thinks of Tom as her dad, she just imagines him, holding her and giving her bottles and yelling and yet being very genuinely loving at the same time not you know in any bad way just incredibly kind in his heart, even though he was very grumpy. And then to her that’s really at the end of the day so to speak just daddy and boy he must’ve been up to some wild stuff, but that’s really just Dad and he would never have devourer of that perception of him because as wild as he was, he was smart and sophisticated and well bread and very loving in his own way And I couldn’t have been married to him if he wasn’t. And so I I don’t think he would’ve ever changed your opinion of him in that way because it was who he is it was who he was and that is who he is so she knows he was. You know a bootlegger and wild, but really she also knows who he actually is and that’s a very intelligent Somewhat stuffy, rich kid who turned into a hooligan kind of like Humphrey Bogart, and certainly there are some very sophisticated people who were in the mafia, but that’s not who he was. Really it isn’t. He was raised in a protestant white old money, family, and that’s very different even if you’re wealthy and you’re Italian and sophisticated that’s not the same thing culturally as what he was. He really is more like Humphrey Bogart. They were friends and that really is more his personality Than anyone wants to accept apparently and that’s who she thinks of when she thinks of her father someone who is sort of like you know who else your minds are of is William Frawley, the actor from I Love Lucy so yes, he’s a hooligan. Yes, he was involved with Al Capone, but he was also Like Fred from I Love Lucy. He was very serious a businessman, and he could be very tough kind of like Fred, but then you know that secretly, probably especially with his daughter he would’ve been very tender hearted when it came down to if. At least he’s a very sweet, tender hearted tidy lovely little girl in my eyes and he would have he would have been very protective of her in a very healthy way. He tried to be if he had a biological father. He tried as much as he knew how to be protective in a real way, finding a home for her where no one would ever figure it out , hiding her essentially it seamlessly brilliantly I mean, he had alcohol and millions of dollars and he was very clever. They’re actually was a birth certificate with her real name on it or would’ve had her real name on it with her real time of birth and he either kept it and gave it to Thelma and I don’t know what Selma did with it although I’ll find out and actually I might know but it’s complicated it might’ve been burned. Literally Thelma might’ve just burned it And the fireplace at some point where it’s possible that her mother still has it but no there was people were paid off that the nurse if if she’s biologically Tom’s daughter there were several people at the hospital. We’re all paid off and kept quiet. He paid about $100,000 in 1983 to keep everyone quiet It was about 100,000 that he paid just to keep everyone quiet but they were willing to because Becca and Jim’s daughter if she’s biological really did die if she’s biologically Tom’s daughter Jim and Becca‘s daughter really did die and so back in 1983 they were willing, especially people who are older and had practiced medicine for decades Going back to the 60s and 70s they were willing to look the other way because stuff like that used to happen and so they thought you know this is not something that people talk about but it happens and he’s paying us you know $100,000 to keep our mouth shut and that would obviously be a lot more today but that’s how much he paid, then if she’s Tom’s daughter they pay it was about 100,000 and in 1983. It was approximately $30,000 to about three different people who all kept their mouth shut and were willing to act like she was just unusual for a newborn and people really are not as a student as you might think that they are and so being a tiny Two month old little girl they were able to play her office in newborn and it was convincing her mother made it work because she didn’t know and she she well she actually wasn’t quite two months necessarily, but she was we say two months she was about to say two months And she was tiny so it was convincing and no I mean it was. It was a very clever, very clever maneuver on Tom’s part and everybody everybody believed him that’s not quite right, but a lot of people believed him enough. I’m sorry I’m overwhelmed right now, but but yeah, be careful assuming that this didn’t happen because it might have.

And if it did and I’m saying that it very well might have she she is my daughter and away I’m Rita I’m Tom‘s wife that she’s saying that she’s talking on behalf of right now yeah but he had $100,000 to throw around in 1983 to cover his tracks and he was not happy about spending that money He’d plan to give it to Thelma but you know it was used for other purposes and he was very angry at Margie because I think he thought that somehow she was on birth control or something, and he held her somewhat responsible for not knowing that you know she couldn’t just assume. They were a couple essentially to some degree and no she should’ve known, but she didn’t and Lacey was born and she was brought into a horrible situation. And I’m not going to correct that because if that’s what actually happened and that’s what actually happened and I refuse to correct it if it’s true.

But no, her father was like Humphrey Bogart essentially and you have to understand part of Lacey‘s mannerisms are her being totally confused about what she should sound like because she doesn’t really talk that differently than Betty Davis ever did. And she doesn’t talk that differently frankly than Lem ever did. And I really humorous thing is that lamb is really her twin flame as well. Call it and Betty Davis is very sweet to her and she doesn’t think anything of it.

These people feel so comfortable around her because of who she is because they they kind of knew us and they knew Tom and they might’ve even liked him and so they automatically know how to relate to her because she’s his daughter and so it’s like oh yeah, you have your dad‘s personality to some decree And so it’s an easy connection but she doesn’t understand that. she really doesn’t and so to her. It’s just oh yes Betty Davis is a very nice woman and Humphrey bogart is incredibly paternal and serious.

Queen Elizabeth being as brilliant as she was when she was alive if there’s no illuminati caught on all of this intuitively and her and Lacey really were friends. they could actually talk and confide in each other to some decree and sadly if there’s no illuminati, I think that Queen Elizabeth is the only real friend that she’s ever had. I mean, can you imagine you’re only real friend? Is someone who you only speak to in this very weird way and and yet they’re really a friend yet they’re the queen of England and yet they’re your friend. And you think aren’t they wonderful in its sincere. But that’s her life that’s how lopsided and bizarre. The whole thing really is

Because I would never really break I used to love to break, but I would never really break about the fact that she’s been able to be close that she is close with Elizabeth because it’s just not something that I would ever break about. It’s not like that. Listen I might have bragged about Louis Hill Junior if she’d ever dated him seriously or even if when he was single, he got involved with her briefly. I might have told people because that would’ve felt appropriate.

I might’ve said to my friends I might’ve said oh yes, Lacey has been seen with him lately. She’s spending a lot of time with him and I might’ve bragged about that.

But I would’ve never bragged about Joe because that would’ve been deadly serious. I would’ve never bragged about Michael because that would’ve been extremely serious and way too although the last serious than Joe but it would’ve been serious. Harold would’ve scared me and left me speechless and I would have been very worried about her, but I wouldn’t have known what to say.

If she brought them home, I would’ve just assumed he was my son-in-law almost instantly. I would’ve just known that he was probably my son-in-law and that that really is actually true. I would’ve just instantly thought no I think this is the one.

Elliott that would’ve left us speechless. We would’ve been very proud extremely proud of her, but it would’ve left us. Totally speechless.

Her husband now we care about him a lot, but I don’t know that we like him anymore than his family likes her. But we actually really do care about him quite a bit. A part of me wants to hold him like a mother and maybe someday I’ll be able to. He was a very cute little boy very smart.” says Reta Banks.

Later.

“Well.

That’s who she is.” says Mr. Pantell.

Yes. Goodnight.





“After talking with several ghosts and my living husband…I’m starting to realize how fake my neighbors are. They’re…impersonating people who they are really not. And…I think I know why I’m so offended by them.

Okay. I went to Messiah University. In Grantham, Pennsylvania. …The epicenter of conservative, Christian, rich, American subculture in the early 2000’s. And I know the people they’re pretending to be.

They’re old money. From Rochester, Minnesota, we’ll say. …His parents went to…Berkeley in California. And protested Vietnam. They’re older. He’s the youngest of four. Or…second to the youngest. His older sister is a nurse practitioner in Portland. Very liberal. Very posh. …His grandparents however were Republican. …Born-again, conservative Christians. German. And his family was very rich. Had one of those rare farms with an actual mansion on it. …His parents were rebels. But they too…came around…probably in the 1980’s…and became born-again. Settled down. Raised his family. …They took frequent ski trips to Ely. Lutsen. …He’s…genuinely intellectual. A rebel. I have a number of second cousins in Seattle like him.

Except…my cousins are nice. Especially to strangers. …My neighbor…is not. And…that’s where these people could theoretically be liberal (my neighbors are) but rarely are. My cousins are liberal…mostly. …But these people…are…often…Calvinist. Reformed. Very…sure that…poor people…aren’t…as…qualified, we’ll say. …If you’re poor…you’re…suspect. …Very suspect. …So…the type of person he’s pretending to be…while rich…and old money and smart…is…very hateful. In my experience. Cold. Miserly. …Judgmental. VERY judgmental. And…they count every tiny…teeny tiny infringement against them with the utmost seriousness. Everything must be kept NEAT. Tidy. Meticulously righteous.

…Do my neighbors know that this is who they’re pretending to be or not? See they grew up in a part of Minnesota that’s very Republican for wealthy people. Poor people are mostly liberal or uneducated if they’re Republican and poor, but there are a number of very conservative Christian Baptist Calvinist people in that part of Minnesota who are Republican.  And I wonder if they got it in their head that rich people act like this so to speak, but they don’t really know those rich people and understand that’s just a subculture of rich people. It’s not all rich people.  And maybe they don’t know that if you’re from that background, you can tell who everyone is so to speak. You can pick it apart and figure out where people are really from and who they really are.  At least you could in my generation because we did get around and go to bars and spend time with each other in person enough to get a sense of stuff like that. 

I don’t think they know necessarily who they’re pretending to be and how difficult it is to have those people as neighbors. His wife is basically the same person Baptist or Calvinist rich old money very restrictive very very restrictive. And I think maybe they’re somewhat well bread in their background in a railway and so maybe they think that they’re being somewhat authentic but I really don’t think they are because I’ve caught them.

There’s one time when I watch them interacting when they were drunk with their friends when they didn’t think I could see them because I was in my basement and I was walking up the stairs looking through a window and they didn’t see me and they acted more like people who had parents with ranch houses. In Iowa will say. So not like poor but possibly lower middle class. The kind of people who would probably hang out in bars and ride motorcycles and sleep in cheap hotels in their 20s on a road trip and think it was fun. Not at all persnickety probably very laid-back and down to earth and opinionated and rough slightly around the edges just slightly. I don’t know if they’re hiding that from my husband and I who’s alive because they don’t want us to think that they’re poor or from a poor background, but I have a feeling that’s who they really are.

And I don’t mind those people as neighbors you know they don’t play loud music they don’t smoke. They’re fairly respectful. I don’t have a problem with them. But the people they’re pretending to be are extremely difficult people for me to get along with. 

I mean, if there’s reincarnation, it’s actually quite funny but that’s a very complicated topic.

Listen, I don’t know how someone that Presbyterian and Dutch German and judgmental creepy an adamant Democrat in Minnesota, but I think it’s possible. I think they’re I think that they’re impersonating people, though who’s a really don’t know.

The people who are impersonating, are people who I went to school with. Growing up, the wife’s family would have been obsessed with her clothing. She would’ve never been allowed to wear jeans with holes in them or stains or anything that wasn’t incredibly pristine because the mother would’ve been paranoid that people thought they were poor or could think they were poor if she didn’t look impeccable. And she would’ve rebelled against that slightly and be dressing. The way that she does, which is sort of Patagonia chic will call it. But that would be rebellion against her ultra conservative family that is somehow still liberal. But their greatest fear would be being perceived as poor because they wouldn’t want people to think that they were evil or falling behind somehow of lesser than someone else. And so they be paranoid about her everything. Probably not so much her Christianity, but probably still hurt. You know her mannerisms the style of her dress how polite the children are how clean the house is the length of her hair. Is it too long? Is it too short? Is she too styled? Does she wear too much makeup? Is she earthy enough? Is she down to earth enough? I mean, there are people with a lot of money who dress like her but they’re very difficult people to get along with. At least for me. They’re not aristocrats, but they’re definitely wealthy and they’re very difficult to get along with unless if you take them extremely seriously. They tend to be very fervent people and so if you take them seriously and treat them with a lot of respect, you can kind of work with them, but you can can’t relax around them. At least I can’t because if I do, they tend to think that I’m a heathen or is there something really wrong with me.

And that’s where they both are very, very very I wanna say happy judgmental, uptight, and yet laid back at the same time people. Often very well read very healthy. They’re kind of Amish really. And that’s to their credit they’re very hard-working people, but I have. I have been on the receiving end of the judgment of quite a few people like that in my time even recently people have gone out of their way to write me letters, long handwritten letters about how I don’t talk to my parents enough because that’s evil and not Christian People who are Calvinist and may even have something really loving in mind in someway, but in relation to me, they’ve been I would say judgmental I wouldn’t say extremely judgmental, but I would say judgmental. Wealthy people, old money who they’re impersonating but that’s the thing that’s who they’re impersonating.

And that’s that is not something you do when you’re in a nice neighborhood you don’t start pretend pretending to be somebody to such an extraordinary degree who you really are not. And you know I wouldn’t have a problem with those people, but I would never have expected them to have financial problems of the nature that my neighbors may be having. And so I’m starting to think that I really am talking to ghost possibly in a new way because of the last gentleman who I spoke on behalf of who may be a British aristocrat he’s ringing a bell in my head. I I really do think that this is interesting and makes sense. They’re impersonating people who are offensive to me.

See the people who they’re impersonating would never have financial problems where they couldn’t afford anything, and if they had financial problems, you would never know. Because they would be incredibly ashamed of it, and they would be very quiet about it extremely obsessed with keeping it private extremely obsessed with preventing anyone from finding out very very careful about how they presented themselves to everybody especially their neighbors they would be paranoid that we would figure that out And so instead of refusing to let my kids play with their kids, they would probably start being more friendly and possibly have offered us lemonade. Sincerely, they may have gone out of their way to bring me lemonade if I was gardening and then say oh yeah I don’t know what to do this year with my flowers. I might just have to leave things because I just don’t know what to think about you know what’s going on or they have some excuse potentially a lie, but they would probably be very careful to make sure that nobody would figure out that they were having a problem at all and I’ve already said that, but I mean it would be extreme and you wouldn’t figure it out because they would be so unless if you thought like them and you really thought like them, but I wouldn’t because I don’t think like them enough And so I would notice, but I have noticed lately that they might be it was pointed out to me, but I still think that it’s possible and it was in my idea but still I think it’s possible and it’s shocking to me because that’s not who they’re that’s not who they pretend to be and I’ve had to process this tonight that they’re really that extraordinarily different than who they pretend to be.” says Lacey.

“The people who they actually are what would you be thinking if they acted like themselves and you knew they were struggling?” says Jesse Ventura.

“ honestly, it would scare me. Because I would feel more in touch with what the world is experiencing on a more personal level and I would start to worry about the US economy and an entirely different way than I feel now I would start to think that that we were in real serious, financial trouble Because if they acted like themselves, I would realize that they’re shrewd people who are good at their job most likely and I was thinking you know they didn’t just grow up with that money it’s not native to them. They had to figure things out somehow, and I would think if those people are really struggling that much Economy must be really bad and it would start to scare me. I mean, it would really start to scare me.” says Lacey.

“ yeah because he’s in sales.” says Tim Walz.

“ yeah and that’s for him to be struggling is a huge indicator that the economy is really really doing poorly.” says Lacey.

“ what if they weren’t doing poorly Lacey and they were doing about like you and your husband are doing and he was a doctor?” says Casi.

“ then I don’t think they’d probably be as Caddy towards me and I have a feeling that we would be close to them, but that we would probably be less awkward when we saw them and they would be less awkward when they saw us. I have a feeling their kids would’ve probably told my kids that my kids are annoying. They probably would’ve just said that. But the same time they probably would to be honest to have more fun with my kids when they played, and it would be a more natural friendship, but they probably would have at some point told my children that they’re frustrating because my son has a slight amount of autism and he’s not annoying kid, but he can seem annoying if you don’t know And so I think another child might say that just accidentally and then they’d have to work through it but it could happen, especially with kids that were frankly from more privileged background and felt more confident being honest about something like that and it’s not meant to be hurtful necessarily it’s just blunt Because I’ve played with lots of different people so I have a feeling that they would probably be closer, but it would be more awkward at times and then yeah we probably wouldn’t be super close to them, but we probably would get along with them better and it would be a lot less weird.” says Lacey.

“ would you be worried or not?” says a woman.

“ yes I would be but not the way that I would be if I knew who they really were.” says Lacey.

“ so if there is an illuminati, how does this affect stuff?” she says.

“ her lack of awareness is helpful and not helpful. That was a very astute question.” says Lana.

“ I don’t think they know how they’re coming across.” says Tim Walz.

“ when do they start acting like this?” says Lacey.

“ I would say probably when they were teenagers you’re right they probably saw somebody who was impressive somewhere who was the person you’re describing a Republican who was George Bush Republican you know you remember probably rich. Probably their parents bought them out. You know Lexus SUV for fun or something I mean, you knew those people to some degree in a way and so I would say someone like that is who they saw not like anyone well you know actually you might’ve dated somebody like that but but no, not quite like that but no but sort of like what you’re thinking so Rich conservative Republican and not really you know charismatic probably more of a John Piper fan and yeah somebody who who probably has been to his church once or twice just because they were a fan of his or something you know and I have a feeling that that’s probably that’s probably that’s probably who that’s probably who their impersonating does that bother you?” says Tim Walz.

“ yes because I know those people like you said sunlight and I think it’s sad if they’re impersonating them I think it’s sad that they’re not just being themselves and being a little more down to earth all the time I mean, you know they’ve done well so I can see why they wanna see more sophisticated or something, but I think they could seem like that without acting like the people that I’m thinking of.” says Lacey.

“ those people hate me and I know what you mean.” says Tim Walz.

“ yeah yeah and I don’t. It’s just sad because if that’s what they’re doing, you know I really am not people think I am and it actually really bothers me that they can’t just be themselves for the sake of America for the sake of a lot of different things it just bothers me that they can’t just be who they really are.” says Lacey.

“ could they be condescending to you? Let’s just say they have a desire to be condescending. Could they be condescending to you and be those people?” says Tim.

“ yes. It wouldn’t mean the same thing though. The way they’re doing it now it’s very very serious. It’s very grave. If they were to do the condescension as themselves, I would just think we’re confusing to them were annoying to them. I think we’ve scare them somehow or made them feel awkward and I probably should find some way to sort of. Give them more space because I think they’re getting uncomfortable like there’s something about us. That’s just scary to them for some reason.” says Lacey.

“ why would you be scary?” he says.

“ I don’t know. I know that I’ve gone to churches, sometimes with people who frankly are poor with my mother who raised me, and as long as I kept my mouth shut and smiled, they were nice to me, and I never had to worry about them thinking that I was weird or anything, but when I started talking and being myself, I used to get looks from people sometimes where they would seem scared or offended or freaked out by something and I would think it’s weird because around friends from college who are well off or from a different background I don’t seem weird. I seem normal to them especially people who are genuinely old money. I know that I just seem normal to those people but to these people, I guess I seem really scary and offensive for some reason I don’t know why I don’t know what it is, but that was the sense I was got and then they’d start thinking things like I was a lesbian or I was I’m trying to think one time I think they thought I could be a lesbian or one time I thought I was straight but like a partier another time I think they might’ve thought that I was wild and some other way I don’t know, but they tend to think that I was wild. They tend to think that I was rebellious and wild and dangerous or something and so I don’t know I think I think maybe it is interesting isn’t it with my father but I’m not really like that and my mother is supposed to I legitimate, but I’m not really like that so and if I if I am, it’s like what difference does it but it’s scared of them. They were really in a worried. Actually, I kind of think if people have read my blog from that background at times they’ve taken what I’ve said the wrong way and thought that I was a prostitute in the illuminati and not a sort of captive who accidentally found the illuminati for far more complicated reasons I think they’ve assumed that I was secretly a prostitute or something and I’m not but they’d always make an assumption that I’m wild in someway or you know really on the edge and I’m not that kind of person but I can do wild but not like that so no I mean it’s not like I’m trying to be judgmental of prostitutes, but I’m just not really like that.” says Lacey.

“ I think Christmas understood you that way too. I think Aaron did as well and I think that’s part of what’s gone wrong for the last 10 years.” says Germany.

“ they really don’t understand upper class culture do they?” says Jan.

“ no they don’t and I wasn’t offended. I was I came close to being hurt, but then I realized in all these occasions that these people are just off the wall in a sentence. They really don’t understand me actually the movie June bug is slightly like that because that woman is so prim and pristine, even if she’s somewhat, you know loose by their standards and she’s actually a very proper person. She’s just not from that same background as them and they don’t understand that and so they make horrible misunderstood. Huge they have huge misunderstandings about her, and I actually relate to that character and that woman who plays or even as an actress and all her roles because I feel like I feel like she could almost play me almost I feel like that actress comes close to being able to portray me if anyone could I almost think she could Embeth Davidtz pronounce it? I think she could almost portray me on film almost but there’s something about her where she comes close to being able to capture me my personality but then that’s that’s the thing that’s when I’m in my own home I’m the kind of person who wants to have space of my own and I’m not really judgmental I don’t think so. It’s like I understand. I would understand if they were themselves. They’re just for some reason uncomfortable.” says Lacey.

“ did I make an impression on you at all?” says Casi.

“ you did but not in the way that I think you wanted.” says Lacey.

“ so I don’t think they have a clue that they’re impersonating those people.” says a woman.

“ do they realize that they’re being fake?” says Lacey.

“ yes.” she says.

“ well.” says Lacey.