Bittersweet Symphony

Listen to “Bittersweet Symphony” by The Verve.

A gay man: Sad. Sad but so true.

The song plays.

3:19

Gloria: FINE!

*She struggles.*

“The Pope”: *Freaks out.*

Gloria: *Screams.*

4:45

The song plays.

Cisneros: *Dances.*

5:54

Lacey: *Gets chills.*

The song ends.

Listen to “Black Out Days” by Phantogram.

Micheal Rockefeller: I tried to warn them, with this song specifically. Years ago.

Way before all of the current crises.

Gloria…-

God, she needs to be able to converse.

*A moment later.*

Gloria: Some man thinks I’m in competition with men like Lem. And that that’s my real issue.

I can’t comment on that right now. But…Lacey didn’t and doesn’t like women in that way anyway.

The man she’s talking about: FINE! But there are women who do!

A tall, straight, sensitive man? Wow! Whoddathunk!? *He laughs.*

Geez!

I’m a little bit like that myself! And I find your attack on Lacey to be an attack on me.

…I relate to Lem. I’m sensitive! You don’t think I’ve worried I was gay? I have! Many times. But I’m not…

I’m not attracted to men.

Why…do you BRATS…have to steal ALL of the chicks from guys like me? …Convincing all women that I don’t exist! MAN!

You’re SICK!

Gloria: *Vomits.*

A gay man: That’s-

She’s actually vomiting. I can tell.

*He almost wants to laugh.*

Okay.

So…-

Can someone else answer for Gloria?

A woman reading this blog: Do you all, in the possible Illuminati, try to brainwash us into believing that men like that don’t exist?

Jeff Bezos (if there’s an Illuminati): YES!

We do use subliminal messages. We use them to control you. Sometimes for your safety. And other times…people take advantage of our power.

A woman reading this blog: Why!?

Gloria: *Whimpers.*

Micheal Rockefeller: They want control.

It’s about control.

If you believe that men can be innocent and good…their narrative seems weak. Even if it’s not complete rubbish. …It still feels weak. Because people nowadays like easy answers.

Make sense?

The woman: That makes me mad.

I would rather…believe good men exist…and I just haven’t met them…than believe a dystopian lie.

Man, that makes me angry!

Gloria: *Screams* NO!!!

*It’s unclear why she’s screaming.*

Dolly: She’s brave.

I’m suffering a little too.

But Gloria is determined to talk to Lacey.

She’s being very brave.

“The Pope”: I can’t handle this!

A gay man: They’ll be fine.

I truly believe they’re in Purgatory.

Okay?

And if that makes me the Pope? Temporarily? Oh well.

*He shrugs.*

They were both teachers. And God holds us all accountable.

I’m sure nothing they’re experiencing isn’t deserved. And…if they’re not in Hell…they’ll be fine.

Look…it’s about sin. They’re being purified for Heaven. So…if they’re able to be accountable…I’d imagine the suffering gets easier?

Cisneros: YES!

I just gave-up.

I just completely gave-up.

A gay man: And yet you’re fine?

Cisneros: I’m better off than them.

*She shrugs.*

Lacey’s worried that the Pope is freaking out.

Lacey…we know. Catholics have conversations. We know that the Pope might be…off.

A gay man: Yeah!

So…can someone answer for Gloria?

Gloria: I’ll answer for myself.

I vomited.

And I’m going to vomit more.

But for now…I’m okay.

She’s right. By the way. Pamela? She’s right.

Pamela? Pam Kelly?

Make sense?

It’s dangerous. The witchcraft we do. Should we exist.

Anyway.

*She cries.*

Pamela…was tapping into the energy we created. Jealousy has been encouraged. Hatred against successful women…has been allowed. And encouraged.

If there’s an Illuminati…we thought it was redemptive. To encourage women like Pamela…to attack women like Erin Piacenti.

And the irony? Both Erin and Pamela…look like Lacey. And they’re from New York City.

Because we’re destructive. We’re incredibly destructive.

*Erin nods.*

Pamela Cisneros: Yeah!

So…you demonically inspired me to stab Erin?

The Illuminati (should it exist): Yes.

Pamela: It’s not “Eyes Wide Shut” no more! In the Illuminati. That was the past!

Y’all ate babies. Nowadays.

And Lacey has tried to explain. You can’t worship Mollock by eating no baby.

But…y’all keep telling yourselves that you’re in the right? Because…you were poor?

Gloria: Basically.

Pamela Cisneros: *Laughs.*

Wow.

So I’m confused. No, I really am.

And yes, I have the blood of Conquistadors in me. And I’m proud.

*She smiles.*

Why…do you need to- Why does destroying reality help?

*She waits.*

I mean…as a feminist…I feel like you should know that!! …Right? That destroying the natural order of things, as they are in nature, is…dangerous.

Erin: Would you have stabbed me…if you weren’t demonically inspired?

Pamela: No.

*She laughs.*

I’m not saying I was a safe person. No!

But…it wasn’t normal.

Now…answer my question!!!

Gloria: SHIT!!!

*Has something crawling on her skin. Some sort of bug.*

FINE!!!

NO!!!

FINE!!!

A Catholic reading this blog: Why do you keep struggling!?!

Gloria: BECAUSE I AM ME.

THINK!

…I’m a loud, pushy, rude, belligerent intellectual.

Do you know who I am!?!

I’m GLORIA STEINEM!!

*She laughs.*

I’m THEE Gloria Steinem.

God doesn’t obliterate us. He loves us too much. We have to get right with Him.

Make sense?

It is a relationship. In a way.

Anyway…-

I obviously messed-up.

Why didn’t I realize I was going about it completely wrong? Because…I wasn’t just an intellectual. I was also a pseudo intellectual.

Yes. I was…fake sometimes. Okay?

And I don’t want to say it, but at times I took shortcuts.

I wasn’t a psychopath. I was incompetent.

I didn’t realize I couldn’t alter reality. Even if it really irked me.

Casi (?): WHAT!?

Gloria: Yeah.

I earnestly believed, if there’s an Illuminati, that I had powers I didn’t have.

You’d be surprised.

Some of the things we can do…like levitation? I mean…- And no, I was human. Okay? So…it was shocking. I was in genuine shock.

If there’s an Illuminati…when I first joined it…I was in shock. I couldn’t believe it was all real. And it got to me. It gets to a lot of people.

People like Lacey are different. Lem is the same.

Whatever.

People like me? Man! It’s OVERWHELMING.

Totally overwhelming.

A reader: Is that Oxford?

God: If there’s reincarnation? Yes. And Ancient Rome and Ancient Egypt.

Gloria: They’re just different people.

*She shrugs.*

But for me…with my background? Man! I was OVERWHELMED.

And…eventually…I started to think I was…like a god. You know? I’m serious! I thought I was…a god.

And I am not…A GOD.

*She thinks.*

I’m not a god.

I’m sorry.

So…you start to take all of that stuff super seriously…and then you start to think you can do things you can’t really do. Like altering reality.

Pamela Cisneros: Yeah!

Tell us more.

In detail.

Gloria: SHIT!

*She cries.*

If there’s an Illuminati, I assumed I could say a prayer…to…some kind of deity unlike God…but like…Satan…and with my own co-divinity…create an alteration.

Especially if I used the sacrificial blood.

I could drink it…or maybe just use it…as a sort of device. And with that…I could change the fabric of reality.

Cisneros: How?

Gloria: So…Lacey is straight? I assumed I could tinker with the fabric of reality…and then force my will into existence.

God: And violate Lacey’s own will?

Gloria: Well yeah…

But I assumed I was Illuminated. If there’s an Illuminati. I assumed I was allowed.

Cisneros: Philosophically? That’s ludicrous. You were a fake intellectual.

There’s nothing Illuminated about that.

Gloria: Yeah, okay.

But…if there’s an Illuminati…we’re that mentally…troubled.

We take ourselves WAY too seriously. And we aren’t that deep.

I mean, I was deep. I am Gloria Steinem. But I wasn’t that deep.

Pamela Cisneros: So…I’m still trying to figure out how you thought you could alter reality.

Where…did the discarded energy go?

Gloria: *Screams.*

You sound like Lacey.

God: Yes!

This isn’t that complicated!

I’m sorry.

You were very smart. But you didn’t have this figured out. And it is embarrassing to you.

Pamela: I’m not dumb.

God: I am not saying that. At all.

Gloria: SHIT!!!

SHIT!!!

A reader: WAIT!

Did one of your ancestors use inspiration from the Illuminati to attack people?

Pamela Cisneros: Yes.

It’s a spiritual inheritance.

And it affected me more than a lot of people.

I am…taking orders.

So…Gloria…how did you think it metaphysically would work?

Gloria: Ahh…-

To be honest…I just assumed it was like…cut and paste. Like on a computer.

I saw it in my Third Eye. I saw visions of myself altering reality. And I assumed it was working.

God: You were cutting off…truth. Actual truth.

Not altering reality.

So…you assumed you were replacing pieces of reality? No. You were cutting off…pieces of reality.

*He shows her.*

Dimitry: And where did that go???

God: It is chaos.

Which is why Erin is dead.

Gloria didn’t mean to cause Pamela to stab Gloria. But…that’s what happened, as a result of her witchcraft…if there’s an Illuminati.

A man in America: So…you…did what?

Gloria: I cut off…truth.

I cut off…the truth of the situation. In regard to Lacey, in particular. And because of that…Pamela’s brain couldn’t hear the sound of truth. She couldn’t hear not to stab Erin.

A man in America: *Trying not to laugh.*

I’m sorry. This is awful. But I’m finding it funny for some reason, too.

Okay.

So you did WHAT!?

Gloria: I used Illuminati sacrifices…to Mollock and other…entities…to try to alter reality.

…Should there be an Illuminati.

So I used our knowledge…about the supernatural…to try to alter reality.

I cut off truth.

There are literal spiritual streams. All over the Earth. Like rivers. And our heads are like radios. For the supernatural. We hear the sounds of many different spiritual streams. Some conflicting. Some not. …Like radio waves? Yeah. It’s like rivers of spiritual water. Everywhere.

I made a dam. And I cut off…helpful waters.

Dimitry: You cut off…truth?

Gloria: Yeah.

I dammed it up.

Because I was misguided. I earnestly thought I wasn’t cutting off truth but replacing it.

Listen to “Suspirium” by Thom York.

Lacey: What happened to the stuff you tried to replace truth with?

Gloria: It’s nothing.

Some people hear it? Some of it is a lie.

So some people hear lies instead of facts and truth.

But a lot of people…just hear…nothing.

This song is also perfect.

The old songs?

Lacey: Yeah. All forgiven? Always and never been true?

Gloria: Purgatory.

Mary Mother of God?

Love it.

The song should be replayed.

Gloria: The old songs?

Lacey: Yeah!

The way you cling to what was actual truth. And hope.

Without even knowing it.

Just because you’re human.

And…yet…it’s been gutted.

No, I don’t mean just what we consider traditional Christianity, today. I mean old wisdom. The real light of CHRIST. …Outdated…fanciful…emotional…real love.

The old songs.

Singing them…with blind trust. Like a child.

But…those people are dead. And sadly, a lot of the wisdom is gone.

1:21

This is about the human nature of the Illuminati. To me. Should it exist. The tragic, redeemable part of the their real humanity.

A dead Saint: When I arrive? Will you come and find me?

Yes!

Have they sinned against other humans so much they’re just going to be ignored? As famous as they were. Once we’re all dead.

Alain Delon: So!

What happened to the other stuff?

Gloria: It was…nothing.

Alain Delon: Okay.

So then what?

Gloria: It…-

They hear…insanity.

Alain Delon: *Nods.*

Yeah!

Explain.

Gloria: They hear…the sounds of…schizophrenia. Essentially.

There’s energy that connected to the bowls of the Earth. It’s prevalent in the ocean. Especially deep. And in caves, actually.

We don’t dislike being underground just because it’s dark. We can sense something horrible.

It’s chaos.

It’s chaotic energy. The energy of tectonic plates…volcanic activity. Stuff like that.

It’s deadly and oppressive.

And that’s the energy you hear when you’re actually schizophrenic. And…when you cut off truth. Like I did.

You how conservatives accuse Liberals of being crazy? Yeah. They got the idea from intuiting this. They don’t know that. But there you go.

Listen to “Spitting Off the Edge of the World” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Gloria: You could fix it, Lacey.

Lacey: Well…but…it’s an ecosystem. You know?

It would make sense to fix it…but it could also be dangerous. If I did it wrong.

Pamela Cisneros: She’s right!

Yes, I’m psychologically a lot like my Conquistador ancestor.

*Lacey laughs with her.*

I can instantly see what she means.

A woman in Minnesota: So…what can be done?

Pamela Cisneros: Well…-

Listen to “Lebanese Blonde (Remastered 2022)” by Thievery Corporation.

Lacey: We can’t just reattach it all.

There are children who will be negatively affected.

Pamela: *Nods.*

Lacey: We’ll have to…create a loop.

Pamela: *Nods.*

Lacey: *Lacey creates a series of infinity shaped loops. With Pamela. And Erin.

Angels help them.

God uses his angels to make enough of them to bring it all back to the truth.*

Listen to “Midnight City” by M83.

Micheal: M. 83.

Lacey. 1983.

Me…-

Nevermind. I’m losing you.

Dolly: This song embarrasses me.

That’s Lem. And Lacey.

On the cover.

And I’m Dolly Parton.

Make sense?

*Later.*

A reader: Hold on!

Do you guys actually help her? In the Illuminati.

I know Laura and Eric do. I can tell.

But like…do you guys? She shares all this stuff…like about her grief. But I don’t get the sense that you all care. At all.

The possible Illuminati: You are correct.

We barely do.

Elon Musk: It’s true!

It’s extremely disturbing.

I avoid her. For many good reasons. But…I do care, somewhat.

They’re not an easy group of people.

Some of us, are very smart. I’m one of them! But…you’re right. “We” don’t care about her enough.

*A bit later.*

A reader: So you’re still in grief. Over Lem. From 1879.

God: If Hasidic Jews are theologically superior about reincarnation… then yes.

He was said to have had such grief, as insult to him. Ultimately. A man who was revered as a “real man”. Being tricked into thinking he was homosexual. And then being made a “grieving widow”. More grief stricken, and famously so, than his own woman. The flesh of his very own flesh.

It was an attack on all of humanity. But some people are denial about that.

Elon Musk (?): And if that’s not right…why Elliott?

*He smiles.*

Lacey: He’s just…very handsome. To put it succinctly.

Elon Musk: No!

I’m not worried about God.

He knows my heart.

*He says to someone.*

Look…you’ve heard I’m a Nazi.

*He laughs.*

Whatever.

Werner…was a very brave man.

*He smiles.*

Even if I’m not a Nazi…he was…incredible.

Lacey: True!

JD Vance (?): No, she’s not a Nazi. Like…an evil person Nazi? She’s…a good person, and she’s German. *He shrugs.* And she’s incredibly smart.

Lacey: Thank you for clarifying.

No, Werner is incredible.

God: Elliott…is actually better for her.

Believe it or not!

I know why you might be surprised. But, shockingly, Elliott is.

He…fell apart. But…he was actually capable of loving a woman like her. Very deeply.

Elon Musk: Yes! But what does SHE want?

Lacey: True!

God: Yes.

…I do know best.

But you’re making a very valid point.

You Don’t Know Her

Laura reads what ghosts are saying, both living and dead.

A dead woman from Nepal: The perfume community just wanted to be better than her. That’s all this is about. They wanted to be more than her, or make her angry.

Laura: I keep getting the sense that Casi Hart has an obsession with her. But I think it’s because-

Casi, do you understand that she’s not and never has been jealous of you?

*They wait.*

A woman in America who may be (or may not be) Casi Hart or someone like her: I don’t hate her.

Laura: I highly doubt that.

Do you understand that she’s not and never has been jealous of you?

A woman in America who may be (or may not be) Casi Hart or someone like her: Yes.

*She rolls her eyes.*

Cisneros: Are you happy?

A woman in America who may be (or may not be) Casi Hart or someone like her: Yeah!

Cisneros: *Laughs.*

You sound sarcastic.

Do you realize that Lacey was assuming you were? And has been this whole time? I mean, really happy.

Mark: Because that’s what you all keep presenting. Why would I assume otherwise?

Cisneros: She’s not in Deep-state. She’s not spying on anyone. What you present on Instagram is what she has to work with, other than tidbits here and there.

A woman in America who may be (or may not be) Casi Hart or someone like her: I don’t have friends. *She shrugs.*

Cisneros: Okay? That’s sad?

A woman in America who may be (or may not be) Casi Hart or someone like her: Okay.

A woman in the perfume community who’s a lawyer: I don’t think we’ve been normal.

God: No, you all haven’t been.

*Later.*

Gloria Steinem: Look…it’s not like-

I hated women like Lacey. I’m being honest.

And for whatever reason she felt personally attacked. Constantly, by me. Maybe it’s because she’s Lem’s…wife…I’ll call it. …He’s not gay.

He was never gay.

I feel dizzy!

Hold on.

Oh my WORD! I’m a GHOST.

I’m A GHOST!

*Lacey laughs with her.*

You guys…it’s SO WEIRD!

She’s wearing Chanel Coco Mademoiselle. Lacey, you should wear that more. That’s good on you!

Lacey: Is it outdated?

Gloria Steinem: Who cares? You’re 43! It’s fine.

You know? Age a little.

Lacey: I hear you!

Cisneros: Ahh…Lem WAS STRAIGHT.

She’s not saying that. But he was.

Why do y’all keep trippin’ on that one?

Gloria Steinem: I can’t handle being that wrong!

Cisneros: That’s WEIRD.

Lacey, chill. She’s with God. She’s suffering, but she’s not in Hell and God has her.

She’s LYING, though.

Why can’t you handle it!? Look, I’m not trying to be mean…but I seriously think I lost my mind…because of what you all keep doing. …What do you mean you can’t handle being wrong?

*A moment later.*

Yes, I’m helping Lacey because she reminds me of my female victim! I do feel like a dumbass, okay?

*A moment later.*

Gloria Steinem: I hate this!

Why do you always have to be right!? *She yells at Lacey.*

Cisneros: *Rolls her eyes.*

Why can’t you handle the truth, Gloria?

Gloria Steinem: SHIT!

*She’s struggling with something, physically.*

There’s no way she’s in love with Elliott Roosevelt? *She says to someone else.*

Cisneros: *Rolls her eyes.*

DUH!

What…you don’t think she’s pretty enough for him?

Lacey: Yeah. That’s what it feels like.

Cisneros: I hear you.

Gloria Steinem: No, Lacey’s extremely beautiful.

Cisneros: Yeah, you can’t admit that. Even now!

That’s what it is. Isn’t it?

You all decided that your egos would decide world affairs.

So stupid.

A woman in America who may be (or may not be) Casi Hart or someone like her: Wait!

Lacey could easily be with Elliott?

Cisneros: *Nodding her head.*

YEAH!

The only reason…THE ONLY REASON why she can’t is because she’s genuinely made for Lem.

He really wasn’t gay.

He really was abused by JFK.

They really weren’t soulmates nor twin flames. That’s complete rubbish to think they were. I don’t care who told you otherwise. …It actually makes NO SENSE to think they were either of those things. NO SENSE. At all.

Gloria Steinem: I can’t handle this!!! *She screams.*

Cisneros: So stupid!

GROW-UP, GLORIA!

*Rolls her eyes.*

We’ll be back.

*A moment later.*

A woman in America who may be (or may not be) Casi Hart or someone like her: So…Lacey is only not with Elliott because God literally made her for Lem?

Cisneros: YES!!!

Elliott: It’s much ado about nothing.

*He shrugs.*

I’d be her “husband” easily, for eternity, if she wasn’t better suited, ultimately, for Lem Billings. It’s extremely simple.

Cisneros: *Nods in agreement.*

There are also other men!

There are also other men!

Casi (?): *Laughing.*

*Later.*

Gloria Steinem: Alright fine! They couldn’t have made love the way I kept saying-

*Lacey’s been ignoring her, because she sounded demonic.*

Laura: First she said Lem wasn’t gay. But then she started telling us that he’d “made love” with JFK. What she described wasn’t possible.

Cisneros: No, they weren’t like that. That’s soulmate behavior. They weren’t like that! Jack was a total friggin asshole!

*Rolls her eyes.*

Lacey: They keep doing that!

Cisneros: I KNOW!

It’s OBNOXIOUS.

God: Gloria is adjusting. But it’s a huge adjustment.

A male Boomer: I’m surprised she’s not in Hell.

God: She secretly wanted to worship me. Just in case.

She secretly was what you’d call a Christian.

Woody Allen: That’s NOT dumb! I’ve done the same thing!

Casi (?): Have these people been sending me demonic messages?

God: If there’s an Illuminati? Yes.

They’ve been inciting you to attack Lacey.

Cisneros: Yeah! It’s WEIRD.

Why can’t you handle the truth, Gloria?

*A moment later.*

Gloria: Because it’s so personal.

*She shrugs.*

If Lem was actually heterosexual I’m possibly a total fucking idiot. A blowhard. A loser.

Because the “scholars” who have supported me most over the years have been like David Pitts and Louis Bayard. So if those men are going way off the deep end…intellectually…in assuming Lem was gay…and deeply in love with Jack…then I’m toast. It’s all interconnected. Intellectually.

*She shrugs.*

Lacey: I wondered if that’s what it was.

Gloria: FUCK!

Cisneros: We’ll be back-

Casi (?): NO! Hold on!

Hold on!

Why couldn’t they just let her be with Elliott!?

A man reading this: Duh! Yeah.

I hate these people!

*He eats his ramen.*

Cisneros: Yeah!

Well…because they’re too stubborn. See…they’re reading her. And they can tell that that’s going to fall apart. That bond. And they can sense the sexual energy of a tall, light colored man. And that man isn’t Elliott, it’s Lem. But they can’t handle it. So they just throw the whole thing out…out of sheer desperation and terror…instead of being responsible and actually handling it, like functioning adults.

Dimitry: *Laughing.*

So they messed with our heads…should they exist…to harass Lacey. Because…they refuse to accept that some of their beliefs are wrong?

Putin: YES!

AYE!

It’s awful.

*Later.*

Casi (?): Why don’t they just let her be with Elliott?

Are there angry Roosevelts?

God: No!

Because they can sense it’s not going to work. Should they exist.

Jim: Then they need to be wrong! They need to let it go!

That’s life!

*Later.*

A gay man: Ah…but then why did they wear matching swim trunks?

Lem: It was my idea. Or Rose’s idea. His mother, Rose. For the photograph.

If it was her idea, she was sick. Simply put.

If it was my idea, I was trying to be gay. I knew couples sometimes matched their clothing. And I was trying to enjoy being gay. Unsuccessfully.

A gay man: So you tried to be gay?

Lem: Yes.

And I wasn’t the first.

A gay man: We lie!

*He sighs and rolls his eyes.*

I knew that was possible.

*He rubs his forehead.*

God: People oversimplify a lot nowadays.

A gay man: YES! They do!

Lem: I thought I was gay.

It wasn’t as if I wanted to be gay.

A gay man: So you impersonated us?

Lem: Yes.

Starting as a teenager.

I was of the opinion that it was a medical condition. And that the best way to treat it was to be optimistic. Try to enjoy the experience as much as possible.

A gay man: So you’d have tried to enjoy missing a foot?

Lem: That’s my personality. Yes.

A gay man: So you’ve been trying to explain this…for years…and Dolly and Gloria shut you down?

Lem: They read Lacey’s reticence the wrong way. If there’s an Illuminati.

She’s very prone to doubt. It’s an inheritance from her father, Tom. Doubting Thomas?

She doubts everything. Well, not everything, but many things. It’s just her nature.

And they misread that as her “finally getting smart”. …Both Dolly and Gloria hoped she’d become a bisexual or a lesbian. Neither of them could accept that she was genuinely just a heterosexual woman. Should there be an Illuminati.

And they couldn’t believe she was so…emotional…and fragile…as a cis, very feminine, straight woman…AND strong. …It deeply irritated both of them. It triggered them too.

A reader: They were triggered by her?

Lem: Yes! She’s too like their mothers. Or someone who felt…scary, to them.

They had issues with women in the Greatest Generation.

A gay man: So you impersonated us?

Lem: Yes!

A gay man: So you impersonated us!

Lem: Yup!

A gay man: So you were completely lying. The whole time!

Lem: Yes. But it wasn’t meant to be a lie.

A gay man: Did that trigger both Dolly and Gloria?

Cisneros: Dolly more than Gloria.

Yeah.

They can’t be wrong!

They just…couldn’t handle being so wrong.

A gay man: Wow!

No, see…you make sense.

Lem, you make so much more sense if you’re this psychologically disturbed genius.

God: That’s pretty much what he was.

A gay man: Huh.

I like this narrative SO much better.

Lem…-

*He rubs his forehead.*

Why…-

Gloria: How rich are you? Tell me!

A gay man: Rich.

Ahh…I make $400,000.00 a year.

*He shrugs.*

Gloria: He really makes that much? *She says to someone.*

A gay man: Yeah!

I’m actually very real.

Very much a good old sport.

Gloria: That’s what I was worried about!

That’s what Dolly and I were worried about!

A gay man: *Looks very alarmed and confused.*

Gloria: SHIT!

SHIT!

Casi (?): Yeah!

And you don’t want me… to believe I’m Virginia.

Why?

Gloria: SHIT!

Casi (?): *Nods*

Gloria: I didn’t want…this to become an issue.

A gay man: *Nods.*

Meaning what?

Gloria: FUCK!

You really were that controlled by me?!?

A gay man: DUH!

I mean…DUH!

So what were you afraid of?

Gloria: You’re rich!

A gay man: Uhuh.

And what does that have to do with Lem?

Gloria: You don’t like me.

Men like you don’t like me.

A gay man: Ahh. Why?

Gloria: Because you’re a rich bastard!

A gay man: *Looks sad.*

Okay.

Gloria: Lem is one of you.

You’re gay and he’s straight. Fine. But he’s one of you.

A gay man: Who are we?

Gloria: You know what I mean! You vote Republican! You’re a rich old bastard!

A gay man: So you decided-

Oh, so you decided to threaten my rights…as a human…to do what? Because I KNOW you have put ALL gay men in harms way by denying reality on this issue. …I can tell!

So…you decided to make this about social class?

Gloria: *Speechless.*

A gay man: Wow!

So what’s your big fear? Why can’t gay men like me finally understand the complex nature of Lem Billings? Because yeah, I do get him.

Gloria: Well, that’s just it.

Who is he?

You tell me.

A gay man: *Thinks.*

He’s-

He’s that quirky…sensitive…nerd. The one with glasses. Who likes the hot chicks. But gets turned down by them.

And he admires JFK because he can get laid. By chicks. A lot.

And he…means well, somehow. But he’s…so painfully nerdy.

And then after his dad dies…he gets weirder. Because he hangs out at a church after school to get a recommendation from the priest, to stay at Choate. It’s his mom’s idea. …And he gets molested. And…so…he starts smoking…and drinking…and decides he’s gay. And no one can talk him out of it! Because he’s convinced. Utterly convinced.

*He laughs. Smiles.*

He’s actually not gay. At all! And I could have helped him and told him that. But I wasn’t there.

*He shrugs.*

…He’s so…eccentric. But he’s old money.

*He shrugs.*

…So he drinks and smokes…and tries to “live his life”. Because no one can convince him that he’s normal. He’s not gay. He’s just a rich…sensitive…nerd. …And no, being molested was not his gay awakening. *He laughs.* … He’s just- *He sighs.* He’s a nerd. Okay? Being a gay…doesn’t save his masculinity. …He’s just an asthmatic nerd!

Gloria: I didn’t want to believe he was that guy.

A gay man: He’s less pathetic. But at the same time more?

Gloria: He’s an egotistical asshole!

Lem: No. But I’m closer to that than it currently seems.

God: If there’s reincarnation he’s Emperor Constantine.

Does Constantine seem like an egotistical asshole?

Gloria: *Cries.*

*God comforts her.*

Lacey: He’s so tenderhearted though too. It’s actually quite brave and kind to be willing to try to be gay, in the way he did. He meant well.

Lem: True.

And no, I did not molest Bobby. I didn’t have any involvement with him. That’s all a fabrication or a misunderstanding.

A reader: Someone was thinking that.P

Gloria: Okay, but then why are we fine with that? Why doesn’t it seem morally offensive…for Lem to be such an asshole?

A gay man: Because he’s-

Gloria: BECAUSE HE’S RICH!

A gay man: Fine. It is that. Yes.

Gloria: Yeah!

We find it charming. Because we’ve romanticized the old money. We’ve romanticized people who send their kids to Choate.

…Some dork who doesn’t have a clue! But it’s okay because he’s a cute rich kid.

That’s what I couldn’t tolerate!

Lacey: But Gloria…that’s REALITY.

Sacrificing YOUR LIFE by three years…or more…and Dolly’s by twelve years…and my health too…doesn’t alter REALITY.

Gloria: I didn’t want to believe you’re this person.

I’m sorry.

I can’t handle it!

Queen Elizabeth II: I tried to fix things.

Why couldn’t you just listen to me?

Cisneros: Because you’re A QUEEN.

It’s offensive to them.

Queen Elizabeth II: Did it make things worse that she’s like me?

Gloria: God is forcing me to be honest, otherwise I’d lie.

YES! HELL YES!

Lacey: Why? What did you gain?

Or were you just being destructive and evil?

Gloria: *Screams.*

*She’s possibly in Purgatory.*

Jeffrey Epstein: Did I destroy the world?

God: Interesting question.

Gloria: I WANTED TO BE RIGHT!

I was an egomaniac.

There. I admit it.

Somewhat.

A gay man: I don’t understand. Why couldn’t you work with Lacey?

Gloria: *Thinks.*

Listen to “There, There” by Radiohead.

Elliott: This song should be in a movie about Lem and Lacey’s life. It’s perfect.

Lacey: I was just thinking that!

Woody Allen: If I get to Heaven, I’ll make it!

Elliott: I hope you actually mean that!

Bill Cosby: I want in on that!

Woody Allen: We’ll see.

*Later.*

Gloria: The gay man is forcing me to have a new blog post with you.

A gay man: As much as I like the idea of Elliott…I’m offended. On behalf of Lem.

Lacey: Fair enough!

Elliott: You understand there’s nothing I can do. I emerge because I need to protect her.

Lem did make horrible mistakes! Horrible mistakes. Like letting people misunderstand his relationship with Bobby. …HORRIBLE. And…trying to euthanize him? Because that’s what it was.

Gloria: *Screams.*

Elliott: He shouldn’t have left Bobby alive. If he was going to try to kill him. And he was. Okay? He was genuinely letting Bobby kill himself. Because he believed Bobby was a sociopath.

…But you don’t go half ass with something like that. You can’t.

I understand what happened, but he made horrible decisions.

The worst parts of his nature were on display with that.

And…because of that…I have to help. At least at this point. Because people like Gloria destroyed the entire thing. Whatever her heart intent was.

And I’ve not been able to explain.

I’ve not been able to say anything.

Not like this.

Doesn’t mean she’s not with him.

*He laughs.*

It just means…that…his energy is too…oppressed…to be able to do its job, so to speak.

Does that make sense?

A Gen. Z lesbian: YES.

I actually completely understand.

They love each other, unconditionally. Lacey and Lem. But he just made too many serious mistakes.

Elliott: YES!