Category Archives: Journal

Oud Sadness

I truly smell awful in oud. I’ve tried my other options and none of them were even as good as Dior’s Oud Ispahan. Some actually reminded me of Lysol. Sincerely. Particularly Mutheer.

I have absolutely no doubt that they smell luxurious, elegant, rich and decadent on someone with a different skin chemistry than my own. And it is what it is…

Actually though, I sampled Gentle Fluidity Silver by MFK recently too and loved it. Many people hate that one due to skin chemistry (apparently it smells like cheese on some people in the drydown) but on me it’s gorgeous and feminine from start to finish. Cool yes. Cool like an IKEA showroom or a glass of sparkling water with lime served next to the sea. And it’s also feminine and appealing the entire time. My ex-husband even complimented me on it and, as you may recall, he never does that.

…And actually, I think I’ll add one more, possibly En Passant or Gentle Fluidity, vintage Aprés L’Ondée and (another sealed) vintage L’Heure Bleue and then be done for a while. For the year at least. Collecting perfume. I might run into a great vintage here or there but those will be unplanned treats and rare ones. Rare finds.

…Maybe unless Chanel releases a new Les Exclusifs (I still need to add Boy) or I find a perfect vintage Guerlain or Chanel I’ll not buy much perfume after this year. Oh sure, I might add Baccarat Rouge too. We’ll see. But I feel like I’m really winding down with my intense collecting phase. Or perhaps truly intense collecting has only begun.

Just a fragrance update.

Rose Gipsy

When the antique dealer looking for the vintage Baccarat L’Heure Bleue gets in contact with us I’ll buy my unopened bottle. Right now the opened bottle is used almost daily…

Thing is though it’s almost too personal to wear so frequently. During the summer I’ll likely wrap it up carefully and put it in the permanently cool basement. We’ve thought of putting a wine cellar down there and maybe we will someday… We’ll see.

I just bought a bottle from Dior. It’s a rose. I considered MFK À La Rose but I prefer the more effeminate Dior Rose Gipsy. I also considered Aerin Rose de Grasse but that beauty has an aesthetic I appreciate profusely but can’t wear as a personal expression. And I’ll wear my new Dior frequently this summer. It’ll be my summer 2021 in a bottle…

I saw a comedian post something hilarious on Instagram today about his expectations in regard to relationships. It reminds me of a realization I’m currently having about my own relationships romantic and otherwise. I frequently make allowances for people when I know they’re needing them and I’m not going to stop doing that but I’ve almost always taken it too far… If someone genuinely leaves me questioning their sincerity and feeling rejected or unsure if I can trust them when I’m not able to keep on a happy face and be strong for them I’m not going to just keep trying. I need to focus on making this adjustment.

Most people who I’ve tried to “be strong for” other than my kids and ex-husband haven’t seemingly even appreciated my attempts anyway. I think they thought/think they were/are entitled indefinitely and if I ever happen to fall apart it’s evil and/or wrong somehow or not real and not their problem. Or they don’t realize what I’m doing in the first place.

I am their mommy. I am their nanny. I am their aunt. Their teacher. Their babysitter. Their servant. Certainly not their equal… Definitely not someone who needs their empathy. *rolling eyes*

And so I’ll wear Rose Gipsy. I’ll wear it this summer and let things fall apart here and there I guess… It’s sad but it’s time. My kids need a mom who isn’t being drained by babysitting adults who don’t care anyway.