A man Lacey went to college with: So what do you think is a competition?
Lacey: *Thinks*
The job market, for people in the same social class.
Actual sports.
Actual, official, competitions.
Retail.
The service industry.
Sales…to some degree.
That’s all I can think of.
A former neighbor: What about us?
*He laughs*
Lacey: What about us?
A former neighbor: You don’t think we’re in competition for anything?
Lacey: No!
Not unless we decide to be.
A former neighbor: What about natural resources?
Lacey: HA!
That’s war.
War and competition are two different things.
And why would we be at war with each other? That’s disgusting.
A former neighbor of Lacey’s: *Looks panicked*
A Liberal Gen. X in Minneapolis: Umm…-
I mean…we’re right.
I completely get what you’re saying.
Trust.
But…y’all are Communists to these folk-
*She cracks-up laughing*
Lacey: I’m not a Communist!
A Liberal Gen. X woman: That’s-
Okay, but that’s all they have.
That’s all American education allowed them to understand-
*She shrugs*
For real.
Lacey: *Thinks*
I just wanted to be with Lem.
And be alone.
And mind my own business.
…And I tried to. Like…five years ago! But they wouldn’t let me!
A Liberal Gen. X woman: I get it.
Go into hermit mode.
Lacey: YES!
I had a feeling I wasn’t making sense, in some…drastic, dire way.
A Liberal Gen. X woman: Heard.
But they wouldn’t let you?
Lacey: Yes.
A Liberal woman: How hard did you try?
Lacey: Very hard.
I’ve lost a lot of hair. Gained weight. …Cried myself to sleep, many times.
My neighbors called the police on my blog.
We’re moving.
It’s been hellish.
A Liberal Gen. X woman: Just to mind your own business.
*She almost laughs, she’s so disturbed.*
Lacey: YES.
A Liberal Gen. X woman: Have you considered moving to Canada? Or elsewhere?
Lacey: Yes. But it’s not necessarily safer, for us, in realty.
A Liberal Gen. X woman: See…I think so too.
Lacey: Yeah!
A Liberal Gen. X woman: So…they’re bullying you by pretending to be me. Claiming you’re…evil white Republican trash. So perverse.
Umm…- Just…do your best, I guess.
They’re not me. Just…keep that in mind.
Lacey: YEAH.
You’re the one who scolded me for not having a clue what rose quartz was. In college.
A Liberal Gen. X woman: *Laughs*
Yes.
*She closes her eyes and winces and then almost cries.*
I’m-
I’m sorry you thought they were me.
Lacey: *Thinks*
A male psychic: Yeah.
These are not…religious people. Who are attacking you.
Maybe they are into the Occult? Maybe they buy hexes on Etsy. …But…they’re not intellectually competent enough to be preaching about rose gold’s abilities.
*He laughs*
I’m sorry.
Lacey: So they’re not the same people.
A psychic woman: OH HELL NO.
No.
They’re…not…like that.
Lacey: I keep thinking of the New Age shop. In Boston. Near Harvard.
In the late 1990’s.
Why did I think that all my haters were those people???
*She laughs at herself, kindly.*
Casi: I’m not dumb.
Lacey: No, but are you Harvard 1999, smart?
Casi: *Looks scared and deeply offended.*
Lacey: Casi…those are unusually privileged, energetic and intelligent people.
Casi: Well, how am I any different than them?
How are you?
There’s not a huge difference!
Lacey: Let’s move on.
Casi: No! Let’s not.
How are you right? How is that not a clear argument against what you’re saying? It’s all a bloody competition!
You’re such an idiot!
Lacey: No.
Because they’re privileged.
Those people…are…PRIVILEGED.
Casi: *Shakes her head no*
Lacey: No.
It’s not just-
Casi: No!
Because how did they get that privilege!? COMPETITION.
Lacey: War and competition are two-
Casi: *Shakes her head no.*
Lacey: War and competition are two different things.
And Europe was settled by wars. Not competition.
Casi: Okay.
But…this is America.
Lacey: Yes! But…we’re an offshoot of Europe. We’re a spin-off series.
And many old money privileged people now were also that way…back in Europe. Somehow.
Casi: I didn’t know that.
Lacey: I see.
A woman named Andi: Okay.
So…when we say you’re not “all that” we’re goading you. We’re actually goading you.
We’re not necessarily literally saying you’re poor.
Lacey: Because it’s a competition.
A woman named Andi: Yes!
It’s like…a sport.
Lacey: *Thinks*
What are you expecting me to do? Show off more?
A woman named Andi: YES! And no.
So…you’re not supposed to-
Yes.
Lacey: So…if you’re driving an Altima. And on Food Stamps. And you’re very overweight. …Why goad me?
A woman named Andi: *Laughs*
Was this person bisexual? And female?
Lacey: Yes.
A woman named Andi: *Nods*
That’s why.
She’s…a bitch.
Like…she’s trying to be a bad-ass.
Lacey: *Thinks*
*Laughs*
That’s absurd.
Andi: Yeah.
It is.
But…I think she wanted to defend herself. And she’s probably a real conservative. Unlike you.
Like you’re, conservative…but she’s…the real thang.
So…those white people…-
*She laughs*
They’re scary.
Lacey: Scary how?
Andi: Umm…-
They honestly believe Bobby Kennedy Junior is doing “the work of the Lord”.
Lacey: A man whose second wife hung herself because he abandoned her?
Andi: Oh yeah! Absolutely!
They have horrible memories. I mean, they don’t even remember that.
They remember that he’s the nephew of JFK. And that’s all they kept track of.
Lacey: So you think Casi is one of them?
Andi: Yes.
Oh, absolutely.
*She nods*
I think most of the online perfume community is. I think most of those people are…conservatives.
Lacey: So…they’re-
They’re…trying to be strong.
Andi: YES.
*She laughs*
Actually…I think the thinking is, “Why are you showing-off? …You’re either heartless or you’re just an idiot. Or I can pull myself out of poverty and beat you.”
Lacey: Why have I never realized that Americans all think this way?
Andi: You’ve never realized this at all?
Lacey: Not really.
Andi: Yeah.
That’s…-
Lacey: Huh.
Chris: You didn’t understand any of this!?
Lacey: Nope!
Chris: I assumed you did.
God: You’re all very naive, ill-educated, and arrogant.
Stanley Kubrick: What do you think of “Eyes Wide Shut”, now?
Lacey: *Thinks*
Stanley Kubrick: It’s the Book of Habbakuk.
Lacey: *Laughs*
So it’s really that obvious and dreary?
Stanley Kubrick: Yes!
It’s not Yeats.
Lacey: Damn.
So does Casi hate me, if I’d understood Americana culture better and been careful not to compete?
Kubrick: Yes.
And she does basically the same thing. But she doesn’t copy you as easily, because she’s less unaware of who you really are. And it baffles her.
Lacey: Okay.
Huh.
So they’re legitimately angry about the state of American society? And when I’ve suggested that a million times over the last ten years…and people have denied it…it’s been evil, most likely?
God: Yes.
It’s real rage.
Lem: What demon thought it was clever and funny to sacrifice my wife? So that unhappy women and gay men…would feel less righteously violent?
A demon that works in the Democratic Party: Me.
Lem: So…they’re supposed to laugh at her and my kids…a feel good? While their water and food are taken away from them them? And then their homes. And then their lives?
A demon that works in the Democratic Party: Yes.
Some even suggested death. But it doesn’t work unless we assassinate Bobby Kennedy Junior first. Because…if they die…you’re all going out for dinner. And he knows that.
Listen to “Good Luck To Groom And Bride” performed by the Orchestra and Chorus of Benedict Silverman.
A demon that works in the Democratic Party: No one wants to assassinate him.
Killing Charlie Kirk was acceptable. But…killing Bobby feels…much too evil.
So…killing Lacey and her family is out. There’s not enough energy for it. And we need energy.
Andi: But you all know she’s just completely out of context?
A demon that works in the Democratic Party: Yes.
…The Jews haven’t been fooled. By the way. They saw through it, right from the beginning.
Casi: I don’t get what you thought we were supposed to feel!
Lacey: About what?
Casi: Your…gifts.
Lacey: *Thinks*
Probably just-
*Thinks*
Can’t you just enjoy it like…a television show?
Casi: No.
Because it’s too personal.
A few years ago…influencers…rich influencers…were…popular. But…I could never enjoy them either.
Lacey: Because it’s too real?
Casi: Yes.
Lacey: Huh.
See…that’s a huge flaw in Instagram. The assumption that people are not going to just hate each other, in the context of real life.
Casi: *Looks confused*
Lacey: It’s war.
Not competition.
You don’t get accosted by homeless men…who fought in Iraq…in person. Because wars decided that…YEARS and YEARS ago. Not competition.
Culture and society are created, in part, by war.
You can’t divorce a culture from war. Liberals apparently have tried to do that, in academia. But it’s ABSURD.
Putin: I agree.
Lacey, it’s brainwashing. Like the belief that credit cards are…safe, to be used regularly by the majority of people, in a country.
You can’t separate things so much. But loose morals combined with Ivy League education. In the West.
Newt Gingrich: I mean…we impeached Clinton, because we understood that. But…not enough.
A Liberal American: Yeah.
You can’t pick and choose.
A Liberal male professor: I’m scared.
*He waits for laughter.*
Casi: Wait, we’re supposed to be laughing at her?
A Liberal male professor: Yes. Duh.
She’s a fool!
You can too separate them!
God: No. You can’t.
Why do you want to?
A Liberal male professor: Well…because Russian culture isn’t this regime. Putin isn’t…Russia.
God: No. That’s a lie.
Why do you need that to be true?
A Liberal male professor: BECAUSE.
I’m not going to war…with Russia.
I’m going to war…with Vladimir Putin.
God: That’s insane.
Listen to “Hatikwah” as performed by the Orchestra and Chorus of Benedict Silberman.
Israel: *Smiles*
He’s right.
I’m sorry.
Lacey: *Laughs*
Israel: Do you…not understand war?
A Liberal male professor: No.
I understand war better than you!!!
Israel: Oh wow!
You have a very simple idea of the world. Huh?
You’re an idiot in disguise?
Lacey’s neighbor: *Nods*
Yes.
I honestly think he does.
Huh.
Norway: Yeah.
No, the Russian people…are very much a part of the Putin Presidency. You’re…way off-base.
A Liberal American male Professor: So you mean to tell me…they support him!?
A Russian woman: Yes.
Far more than you support any U.S. President you’ve had since…Watergate.
A Liberal American male (white) Professor: Please, Lacey, don’t keep pointing out white peoples.
Putin: I’m white!
My country is predominately white.
*He laughs*
China: *Nods and smiles*
*People think.*
An American Gen. X White male: So Putin in our babysitter?
Putin: Ha!
No.
I’m at war with you. But you’re not supposed to know that.
An American Gen. X white male: Cool.
And that’s because why?
Putin: Because your leaders…don’t want you to get scared. …That’s the main reason.
We’re very close to outright nuclear conflict. Not necessarily in America, but in the Middle East.
A Liberal American Gen. X woman: I wondered if that was true.
Putin: You can thank Israel that you’re reading this openly. Anywhere.
*They think*
So…they mainly just don’t want to scare you.
But of course they also don’t want you to have any problems with it.
AIPAC: Lacey is a fan of John Mearsheimer. She’s not…one of us.
But…her father-in-law is. And…she’s very objective. Fair.
*He shrugs*
People like her are why we loved living in Germany. For many years.
Lacey: I understand them! I also understand Iran.
Oh well.
A white American male in his 50’s: So…if America didn’t owe China trillions and trillions in debt…and if we weren’t trying to pay for it by selling children into Hell on Earth…would Israel be blowing-up and starving Palestinians?
Israel: Honestly? No.
No.
I’m sorry. I can’t lie.
That’s the heart of the issue.
A white American female Gen. X woman: Would-
Is it your debt or just ours?
Israel: It’s your debt.
Your over-spending legislators in America aren’t our politicians. Okay? Your government isn’t our government.
We aren’t as bad off as you.
But…that’s where we had to help. Because…-
*They shrug*
We understood your situation and wanted to be loyal friends.
A white Gen. X woman: So…we’re controlled by you…because you’re our last hope.
Israel: Yes.
We’re actually your last real friends. In a way.
Kamala Harris: That’s why we never stop loving them.
*She laughs*
We have no other choice. They’re our buds.
A Gen. X man: Buut…what about Europe!?
Germany AFD: We exist.
And…naturally, you don’t trust us.
The alliance isn’t as strong. You…have a “special relationship” with us. Especially Great Britain. But…it’s not like Israel.
Israel is America’s ride or die.
Casi: So they have our backs in a bar fight.
German AFD: Yes!!
Absolutely.
We do not.
German AFD supports Putin. Openly. Clearly.
Casi: You support Russia!?
AFD: YES!
Of course we do.
Russia: They’re not Nazis.
AFD: True.
We’d not necessarily have…detention centers. Believe it or not.
Casi: Then what?
AFD: You deport people.
You don’t detain them? I guess.
*He shrugs*
But…we had a real Holocaust. Never again!
Casi: Did Europe sell as many kids?
The UK: *Laughs*
No!
Queen Elizabeth II wouldn’t allow it. Maybe her kids were attacked psychologically because of it.
I don’t know.
But…no. …Not as many.
A reader: So people have been bullying all of you into allowing and accepting it? For monetary reasons?
An actress: YES!
Yes.
*She laughs*
Look, I’m glamorous. I’m aware. But…Hollywood hasn’t been about that, at its core, for decades.
It’s all about the money…and the power.
So…you get used to it. You learn to eat shit.
Just…blindly eat shit.
And look happy.
And if you drop the ball? You’re dead.
So they forced us, of course, to get into pizza. Because if we didn’t…we were out. *She snaps her fingers*
Lacey…can’t be forced. We’ve tried. And people have pushed her so hard…some people are now dead, because of it. She refuses to partake. Or condone it.
But…a lot of people…just fake being okay with it. I have. I hate myself…but…-
*She shrugs*
*People think*
A hater: So she refuses to molest kids. Including her own. And…you’ve all died!?
Another actress: Yes.
People have been so desperate to…connect her spiritually…to our…party…that they’ve lost their lives. They’ve gambled and lost their lives. Literally.
A hater: How?
Another actress: *She laughs*
No.
I’m a Jew.
Don’t go there!
*she smiles*
Israel: God obviously doesn’t condone pedophilia. He obviously thinks molestation is wrong.
A reader: So…Israel is our buddy…but…they’re not okay with what we’re doing?
Israel: YES!!
A reader: So Lacey…is Charlotte York, but she’s yelling at her synagogue for being too lenient?
AFD: I prefer to think of her as a good Frau. Strong. Bold. Smart.
Russia: Except it was Israel that saved her from being physically assaulted. Back in 2016.
And it was Queen Elizabeth II who…made her life bearable.
Lacey: So…there’s a competition? Constantly. In your minds?
An American: Yes.
*Later.*
Lacey: No.
No one has ever pointed that out.
A woman in America: Are there other ways to pay for our debt?
Russia: Yes!
But…they’re too sold on this idea. It’s…how they see it. They think it’s clever. Or they have, until recently.
A woman in America: Until you started attacking Lacey!
Russia: Yes!
A woman in America: So why…do you…attack her?
The Illuminati: Because…she irritated some people.
Okay?
They saw her on Instagram and they found her…obnoxious. And they decided to go for blood.
Russia: *Laughing*
It wasn’t even my idea!
*He cracks-up laughing.*
They just walked right into it.
I swear!
Another Professor: HOLD On!
What!??
Russia: She’s not actually stupid.
You know that? Right?
Another Professor (in his 60’s): Why?
Russia: Why?
Another Professor: Why did you do this!?
Russia: Ask Yeltsin, when you die.
I didn’t start it. He did.
I wasn’t-
*He shrugs*
Yeltsin: I loved the history of…The 1920’s. Bootleggers. Gin joints. Old Hollywood!
Fun.
A perfume collector: So…you just did this? Because she made you angry!?
The Illuminati: Yes.
A group of naive, backwards, sheltered Millennials and Gen. Xers. All Democrats, actually. All white. All middle class childhoods.
A perfume collector: Would you have if you’d known she had no idea what was going on? In regards to competition.
One of them: No.
We assumed she knew.
A perfume collector: *Completely freaks out*
So that’s why you’ve used us? And used Casi?
Russia: YES.
They didn’t have a clue. They just…made assumption.
A man in Missouri: CAN SOMEONE TELL THE GAY MEN TO STOP ASSUMING LEM WAS GAY!!!?!? *He yells, like he’s at war*
Lacey: Finally. Someone who has a clue!
Where have you people been!??
A man in Missouri: *Too busy to respond.*
Lacey: We…have a huge problem.
Charlie Kirk: I-
I made a mistake.
Lacey: Well.
I feel like I should apologize to you.
Putin: *Laughs*
You aren’t to blame.
Lacey: It’s…rather…a muddle.
Putin: America?
Yes.
Indeed.
*He sighs*
Too bad…it’s…such a bloody mess.
Lacey: What would you even do with it!?
It’s not much fun…unless you can join in with the American culture as an American. Drink lattes. Eat McDonald’s. Vote. Watch “The Office”.
Putin: I liked that show!
Lacey: YES!
So what would you even do with it?!
Putin: *Thinks*
Well.
*Thinks*
We could-
*He gets distracted.*
