Reasoning With Fools

I get really angry when people attack me in backward, childish ways for vain, pathetic reasons. But you can’t reason with stubborn fools. Or as some people more colloquially put it: You can’t fix stupid.

But, as I learned by being bullied as a child in school by insecure, at times much less intelligent and often unhappy peers, ignoring pushy bullies is often the best policy. Their hatred is frequently derived most from not boredom but desperation. Or, there’s something about one that triggers them… I’ve written about this before. Literally recently. But…I’ll say it again since some people apparently are forgetful or mildly illiterate: you can’t reason with fools and/or you can’t fix stupid. Sorry. *shrug* And no, I’m not most apologetically and unfortunately talking about myself being the forgetful fool.

Today I wore Estée Lauder Beautiful. (I was surprised by how much I like the newer formulation) It brought back memories of long ago… One Christmas wedding in particular.

I was eleven years old and I had this outfit I had just “discovered” in my closet. It was comprised of a plaid skirt, a cranberry wool cardigan and white cotton turtleneck worn with black flats. It was perfect for a Christmas wedding… And what a grand wedding it was too. A young, lovely couple from our church were getting married and hundreds of people must have attended. The reception was catered nicely at an elegant hotel and…everything about that evening and night were so of their time in the best way possible. It was the Christmas of 1994…

It was an eerie celebration too though… I felt as though something was amiss and as time has progressed I’m slowly figuring out what it was that was nagging me so much that night. It was a night that really carved a place in my memory fir certain (speaking of memories)… For one thing, that was around the time that I’d argue American culture started to take a turn for the worse… And it’s not that everything has gone rotten since then…or can’t be fixed…it’s more that some things began to be taken away around that time and have yet to return if they ever can or will again. (And no, I don’t necessarily blame any one group or family or person for what happened then)

Fittingly that was the last big, gorgeous, thoughtful and truly traditional wedding I’ve ever been to. And sure, such weddings can be costly but it’s not just about that. Tradition in and of itself still is down for the count in general, although it’s breathing… And it’s more that that stands out to me. It’s our continued (and perhaps growing) lack of reverence for tradition… (I’m guilty too)

…That couple is still married and I think they have five kids now. Four kids? When my parents separated the couple seemingly sided with my father so I haven’t seen them for many years…

Anyway, I could cry when I think of how quickly time goes by and how little time feels like it’s passed since that wedding. But…I think that outfit is an excellent place to dig back to. It was very Brooks Brothers. Brooks Brothers for an eleven year old girl, but even so…

Do you have a favorite outfit ever? One outfit that really was you? It can be from any age, of course.


Men should have a strong chin line. Women an at least somewhat softer one. Those are prominent cultural ideals in regard to beauty. Is there a point at which a man’s chin line can be too strong or a woman’s too soft? Yes…of course.

Actually though, one ideal that’s been forgotten in the last 20 to 30 years is the beauty of feminine roundness. Not curves, although curves can be related but I mean more just…roundness. Think Helena Bonham Carter, especially in her youth. There’s a reason she was iconically in so many Merchant Ivory films. But, at any rate, a more traditionally masculine, cut and clean, angular featured look has been popularized for women and not just men for decades now… Perhaps it started during WWII with women working more outside of the home and finding strength in seeing themselves depicted in the media as more angular, strong and yet still glamorous looking in their actual physical appearance and not just in angular clothing styles (like some Edwardian or 1920’s styles I can think of off the top of my head). While the men were away they worked and from that trend grew a desire for many women to work outside the home more permanently. In tandem with that trend to work outside of the home the “feminine strength” look progressed beyond strong angles being glorified by Victory Rolls and red lipstick to a more prominent and permanent part of the public feminine ideal. But while that look carved out its own spot in the media the older ideal of roundness was often forgotten…even though some still prefer roundness in women and the older ideal existed for a reason too…

My heyday would have been in the late 1800’s through the 1930’s. Actually in many ways I’m, truthfully and stated bluntly, what was considered perfect in the 1920’s. That being said, as much as there are vintage clothes and vintage inspired looks…nothing is as good now as it was then when it comes to fashion. (Sorry. It just isn’t.) And being an old ideal is fun and I love being myself…but it’s not necessarily easier than being other things. But, regardless, I’m not alone in my frustrations with current fashion…

Old isn’t just…old. And sometimes it really is better. And I’m not the only Millennial who feels that way… I’ve had more than one friend around my age who identifies or identified more with the style of bygone eras express anger almost verging on some sort of grief. “I was the ideal in the 1950’s.” said one friend of mine sadly as she analyzed her curvy frame and longed to wear bright red lipstick, cat-eye glasses, pretty day dresses and heels. And she was right… It’s not just escapism, it’s…reality. A depressing reality… The vintage trend among Millennials started due to pragmatic objectivity not just so-called “weak” nostalgia…

Style today is conformist despite all the supposed “edginess”. It’s also often quite ugly… And is that even the point at times? Ugliness? To be irritating to look at? To create a visual sensorial attack on onlookers?

*sad face*

We are not happy people.

Yet there’s tweed… In walks tweed. Gosh, I love tweed. It’s tweed… Unchanging tweed. And Hermès has a new addition to their cosmetics section. Someday I’d like to add a vintage Hermès Kelly to my modest handbag collection but it’s low on my list of priorities despite how much I actually love Hermès. …But is there any scarf quite like an Hermès silk scarf? No. They’re…well…maybe…they’re the ideal silk scarf. Absolute perfection…in terms of a scarf.

…More later.